Archive for the 'Hazing' Category


Spandex Is a Privilege, Not a Right

There haven’t been many good moments this year for the Houston Astros; predicted to be miserable this season they have lived up to expectations. Fortunately, the veterans haven’t lost their senses of humor, dressing the rookies up in neon spandex outfits ala Olivia Newton-John’s famous, Let’s Get Physical” video. Hottttttttt!

So, here are the Astros rookies prior to their flight to Philadelphia on Sunday. In addition to their humiliating outfits the rookies (from left, Chris Johnson, Bud Norris, Tommy Manzella, Wilton Lopez and Sammy Gervacio) were required to assist the flight attendants in serving their teammates drinks and such throughout the flight.

Astros Rookies 1

I think this one might be even better than the Yankees’ Batman rookie hazing, if only because that one was pretty cool and this is supposed to be more embarrassing.

[Alyson’s Footnotes]


Mama, Who Was That Masked Man?

The accepted public hazing of baseball’s rookies continues and as much as I dislike the Yankees I have to say they flat-out KILLED it with this year’s iteration. Here is Anthony Flynn as Robin, Mark Melancon as Batman, Ramiro Pena as Catwoman, Michael Dunn as the Riddler and massage therapist Lew Potter as the Penguin. Well played Yankees veterans, well played. I just hope this kind of success doesn’t carry over into the playoffs.

Yankees Hazing 3

[Huffington Post]


Sox Rookies Following the Yellow Brick Road

The annual rite of sanctioned hazing in the MLB has begun in full force, last night was the Red Sox’ turn as they prepared for their road trip the rookies were dressed up as characters from the Wizard of Oz — which it should be pointed out the Yankees did 2 years ago.

Sox rookies such as Jed Lowrie, Junichi Tazawa, Dusty Brown, Daniel Bard and Michael Bowden were dressed up in semi-embarrassing outfits and are required to stay in them until they reach the hotel. At least this year’s is better than last year’s lame High School Musical version, but I think Joba might have made a more precious Cowardly Lion than Sox fireballer Daniel Bard.

Daniel Bard as the Cowardly Lion



Being a Rookie Can be a Drag

larry-english-dinner-bill-resizedFirst-round pick Larry English is expected to be a major cog in the San Diego Chargers defense this season; to show their appreciation for all his hard-work, the entire team took him out for a classy steak dinner.

Oh, wait, that’s backwards; English was forced to pick up the bill for the ENTIRE team as part of an annual Chargers rookie tradition. The tab ended up at a robust $14,508.67 which is awfully pricey for a 23 year-old. Then again, when you sign guaranteed 5-year 9.9 million contract maybe 15K isn’t SO bad.

In some respects, English got off easy; when Shawn Merriman was a rookie his dinner bill ended up around $32,000, although Ryan Leaf merely spent $3,000 in 1998.

Courtesy of fellow linebacker Shaun Phillips’ Twitter feed, English’s hazing can be shared with the world.

I also want to know who got the raspberry sorbet, which tough guy football man ordered that; it had to be Nate Kaeding the kicker right? Also, I hope the team did the whole, “we’ll be right back” thing and told English to wait for them as they all bailed.



The Band Didn’t Play On

Yesterday’s Wisconsin-Ohio State game was a bit quieter than usual on the Wisconsin sideline as their entire band was suspended indefinitely for hazing, alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct. Way to go band guys, way to live the rock and roll lifestyle!

Band director Mike Leckrone, heading the band since 1969 said it was the first time he’s ever had to suspend the entire band and have them not play at a game. “My feeling was I hit them between the eyes with a sledgehammer,” he said. The band has not been exempt from problems in the past, going on probation last year after reports of hazing, alcohol abuse and sexualized behavior. At least they are consistent! According to NBC Sports, “At that time, semi-nude band members were alleged to have danced suggestively and there were reports of women being forced to kiss other women to be allowed to enter bathrooms on a bus.”  Continue reading ‘The Band Didn’t Play On’


High School is Hard

So this video hit the ol’ tubes sometime yesterday and it is being purported to be a tape of the Melbourne (Florida) High School volleyball team being hazed. Even if it isn’t that school it’s still a tape of high schoolers being douchebags to one another and for that, I can post it here. If it is the volleyball team then it CERTAINLY belongs, seeing as how I love hazing!

This hazing is a little bit strange, it starts with the girls being dressed as clowns, OK, standard stuff, I’m enjoying it so far. Then the girls are herded into a circle and the random boys at this party then mercilessly beat them with pillows. I’m not quite clear on the reason for this part. It seems to me that if you’re going to allow non-team members beat the shit out of your hazees you might as well just get some mafia goons to break kneecaps. I feel like it is a violation of hazing etiquette to let the boys in. Also, at 5:50 in the clip one of the boys says “Raping is tiring,” so that’s fun! The video is a little long and punctuated with high school girls being shrill and loud, but it’s certainly interesting. After the pillow beating the senior girls take the hazees off to a beach where they will be egged and floured. Even MORE fun!

[Bad Jocks]


More Sanctioned Hazing

The hazing of baseball rookies continues! At Trevor Hoffman’s request the Padres rookies were dressed in Hooters outfits as part of their annual hazing ritual. It makes sense to me that Hoffman is a big Hooters fan, after all, the wings ARE delicious!

[Gas Lamp Ball]


The gents over at With Leather found this other fine photo of the Padres posing for photos in their Hooters garb. It’s almost enough to ruin Hooters for America.


Sanctioned and Accepted Public Humiliation

I enjoy that whenever a high school team hazes someone it becomes major news and everyone wrings their hands and decries how horrible it is. However, when it comes to a professional sports team, the media can’t wait to fall all over themselves covering hazing and presenting it as hilarious and all in good fun. Sure, for some reason high school hazing always seems to end with someone getting teabagged or a plunger shoved somewhere uncomfortable and the pros merely make their rookies dress up in drag but still, isn’t hazing supposed to be illegal? That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy it, I mean who doesn’t want to see baseball players dressed as characters from High School Musical? Also, it is certainly a far distance between sodomizing someone with a plunger to making someone wear a dress, but I was under the impression that hazing is hazing.

Regardless, it seems obvious the Red Sox are breast-men based on some of the outfits that the rookies were forced to wear. Also, I’m curious who proposed High School Musical, I hope it was someone who has a young daughter or something, and not some veteran on the Sox who creepily watches that show. Anyhoo, here are some of the photos from the Sox rookies getting dressed for their journey down to Tampa. For more media fawning over this annual hazing ritual, check out the gallery from WBZ here and for pictures from the fan’s perspective, check out Center Field’s gallery.

Catcher George Kotteras has boobs for days

Catcher George Kotteras has boobs for days

Chris Smith and Jeff Bailey make all the boys hearts swoon

Chris Smith and Jeff Bailey make all the boys' hearts swoon

Jonathan Van Every knows what he likes, and that would be big boobs

Jonathan Van Every knows what he likes, and that would be big boobs

Jed Lowrie though looks like a bad extra from Dazed and Confused

Jed Lowrie though looks like a bad extra from Dazed and Confused

If I was one of the rookies Id be furious that Justin Masterson and David Pauley got off so easy

If I was one of the rookies I'd be furious that Justin Masterson and David Pauley got off so easy


Katy, Texas’ Summer of Fun!

“When a girl (BEEP) in her pants and puts her pants on another girl’s head, that’s just disgusting,” so says the sister of one of the Morton Ranch High School junior varsity cheerleaders and I couldn’t agree more. That was only the beginning for 14 members of the high school varsity cheerleading team who have since been accused of hazing their JV cohorts.

Traditionally the varsity team kidnaps the JV team and then takes them out to breakfast, which doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to me, in fact, it almost seems like fun! Instead, this year, the 12 varsity girls, the team’s equipment manager and of course, the school’s mascot decided to do it slightly different.

(First off, what the fuck does the cheerleading squad need with an equipment manager, are there other things besides pom-poms? Are the girls not able to keep an eye on them themselves? Also, was the mascot wearing the costume the whole time? These are important questions and I demand answers!)

In order to welcome the JV girls to the cheerleading sorority, the senior girls duct-taped the JV squads hands and then threw them into a pool. They reportedly also were “flicking [the JV girls’] body parts,” which I wonder if is anything like flicking the bean?

School officials responded right away saying “The district is investigating an alleged off-campus incident possibly involving inappropriate behavior by certain students.” Sounds like they’ve really got it taken care of!

photo_servletMorton Ranch High School is in the Houston suburb of Katy, Texas, normally famous for housing steroids using uber-douche Roger Clemens. I’m sure he must be relieved to not be the headline in the local paper for once. The school also just got out from a fun teacher-student sex scandal that came out last week.

Continue reading ‘Katy, Texas’ Summer of Fun!’

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December 2022