Posts Tagged ‘Hazing

05
Oct
08

The Band Didn’t Play On

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football, Hazing and Random
Tags: , , , ,

Yesterday’s Wisconsin-Ohio State game was a bit quieter than usual on the Wisconsin sideline as their entire band was suspended indefinitely for hazing, alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct. Way to go band guys, way to live the rock and roll lifestyle!

Band director Mike Leckrone, heading the band since 1969 said it was the first time he’s ever had to suspend the entire band and have them not play at a game. “My feeling was I hit them between the eyes with a sledgehammer,” he said. The band has not been exempt from problems in the past, going on probation last year after reports of hazing, alcohol abuse and sexualized behavior. At least they are consistent! According to NBC Sports, “At that time, semi-nude band members were alleged to have danced suggestively and there were reports of women being forced to kiss other women to be allowed to enter bathrooms on a bus.”  Continue reading ‘The Band Didn’t Play On’

30
Sep
08

High School is Hard

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Douches, Hazing and Random
Tags: , , ,

So this video hit the ol’ tubes sometime yesterday and it is being purported to be a tape of the Melbourne (Florida) High School volleyball team being hazed. Even if it isn’t that school it’s still a tape of high schoolers being douchebags to one another and for that, I can post it here. If it is the volleyball team then it CERTAINLY belongs, seeing as how I love hazing!

This hazing is a little bit strange, it starts with the girls being dressed as clowns, OK, standard stuff, I’m enjoying it so far. Then the girls are herded into a circle and the random boys at this party then mercilessly beat them with pillows. I’m not quite clear on the reason for this part. It seems to me that if you’re going to allow non-team members beat the shit out of your hazees you might as well just get some mafia goons to break kneecaps. I feel like it is a violation of hazing etiquette to let the boys in. Also, at 5:50 in the clip one of the boys says “Raping is tiring,” so that’s fun! The video is a little long and punctuated with high school girls being shrill and loud, but it’s certainly interesting. After the pillow beating the senior girls take the hazees off to a beach where they will be egged and floured. Even MORE fun!

[Bad Jocks]

18
Sep
08

More Sanctioned Hazing

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball and Hazing
Tags: , , ,

The hazing of baseball rookies continues! At Trevor Hoffman’s request the Padres rookies were dressed in Hooters outfits as part of their annual hazing ritual. It makes sense to me that Hoffman is a big Hooters fan, after all, the wings ARE delicious!

[Gas Lamp Ball]

UPDATED TO ADD

The gents over at With Leather found this other fine photo of the Padres posing for photos in their Hooters garb. It’s almost enough to ruin Hooters for America.

16
Sep
08

Sanctioned and Accepted Public Humiliation

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball, Boston and Hazing
Tags: , , ,

I enjoy that whenever a high school team hazes someone it becomes major news and everyone wrings their hands and decries how horrible it is. However, when it comes to a professional sports team, the media can’t wait to fall all over themselves covering hazing and presenting it as hilarious and all in good fun. Sure, for some reason high school hazing always seems to end with someone getting teabagged or a plunger shoved somewhere uncomfortable and the pros merely make their rookies dress up in drag but still, isn’t hazing supposed to be illegal? That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy it, I mean who doesn’t want to see baseball players dressed as characters from High School Musical? Also, it is certainly a far distance between sodomizing someone with a plunger to making someone wear a dress, but I was under the impression that hazing is hazing.

Regardless, it seems obvious the Red Sox are breast-men based on some of the outfits that the rookies were forced to wear. Also, I’m curious who proposed High School Musical, I hope it was someone who has a young daughter or something, and not some veteran on the Sox who creepily watches that show. Anyhoo, here are some of the photos from the Sox rookies getting dressed for their journey down to Tampa. For more media fawning over this annual hazing ritual, check out the gallery from WBZ here and for pictures from the fan’s perspective, check out Center Field’s gallery.

Catcher George Kotteras has boobs for days

Catcher George Kotteras has boobs for days

Chris Smith and Jeff Bailey make all the boys hearts swoon

Chris Smith and Jeff Bailey make all the boys' hearts swoon

Jonathan Van Every knows what he likes, and that would be big boobs

Jonathan Van Every knows what he likes, and that would be big boobs

Jed Lowrie though looks like a bad extra from Dazed and Confused

Jed Lowrie though looks like a bad extra from Dazed and Confused

If I was one of the rookies Id be furious that Justin Masterson and David Pauley got off so easy

If I was one of the rookies I'd be furious that Justin Masterson and David Pauley got off so easy

30
Jul
08

Katy, Texas’ Summer of Fun!

By slanch 13 Comments
Categories: Awesome, Douches, Hazing and Random
Tags: , , , , ,

“When a girl (BEEP) in her pants and puts her pants on another girl’s head, that’s just disgusting,” so says the sister of one of the Morton Ranch High School junior varsity cheerleaders and I couldn’t agree more. That was only the beginning for 14 members of the high school varsity cheerleading team who have since been accused of hazing their JV cohorts.

Traditionally the varsity team kidnaps the JV team and then takes them out to breakfast, which doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to me, in fact, it almost seems like fun! Instead, this year, the 12 varsity girls, the team’s equipment manager and of course, the school’s mascot decided to do it slightly different.

(First off, what the fuck does the cheerleading squad need with an equipment manager, are there other things besides pom-poms? Are the girls not able to keep an eye on them themselves? Also, was the mascot wearing the costume the whole time? These are important questions and I demand answers!)

In order to welcome the JV girls to the cheerleading sorority, the senior girls duct-taped the JV squads hands and then threw them into a pool. They reportedly also were “flicking [the JV girls’] body parts,” which I wonder if is anything like flicking the bean?

School officials responded right away saying “The district is investigating an alleged off-campus incident possibly involving inappropriate behavior by certain students.” Sounds like they’ve really got it taken care of!

photo_servletMorton Ranch High School is in the Houston suburb of Katy, Texas, normally famous for housing steroids using uber-douche Roger Clemens. I’m sure he must be relieved to not be the headline in the local paper for once. The school also just got out from a fun teacher-student sex scandal that came out last week.

Continue reading ‘Katy, Texas’ Summer of Fun!’

Follow The Slanch Report

 Subscribe to RSS Feed

twitter / slanchreport

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

August 2022
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  

Categories