Posts Tagged ‘Shane Victorino

14
Aug
09

Public Enemy #1 is CAPTURED!

beer_throw4500thisAt last, we can sleep peacefully now, thanks to an active campaign to track him down, the dastardly Chicago Beer-Tosser has been CAPTURED!

After Phillies center fielder Shane Victorino pressed charges for getting a beer tossed on him from a previously anonymous Cubs fan, the media blitz was ON to find the culprit.

Johnny Macchione, the fan in question, turned himself in yesterday to Chicago police where he was booked and released on bond after being charged with a count of battery and a count of illegal conduct within a sports facility. He’s now the second-most infamous Cubs fan.

“I’d like to apologize to Shane Victorino. It really was nothing against him,” he said. “The Chicago Cubs, I’m sorry I disgraced you.”

Wow, disgracing the Cubs is a hard task, and yet, Johnny feels he did. And in some ways he has, in others he merely threw a beer on someone in a cowardly manner. As Victorino was saying yesterday, “[The fan] i’s probably at home thinking, ‘I got away with it.’ I hope he gets the understanding, hey, you can’t do stuff like that. I mean, if it happened in the streets, I don’t think you’d be walking too far (without a reprisal). It’s just not something you do.”

[Chicago Breaking News]

14
Oct
08

The Frying Hawaiian Strikes Again

Shane Victorino has been a pest these playoffs, with a huge grand slam in the first round and then being a catalyst towards a benches emptying standing around “fight,” but now he’s REALLY done it, he’s angered PETA. After revealing that his favorite food is Spam musubi, the Flying Hawaiian has irked the publicity whores over at PETA who sent him a letter about their recent investigations into the pig farm that supplies the manufacturer of Spam. “We suspect that the cruelty in every can of Spam will infuriate Shane more than a high Hiroki Kuroda fastball,” says Dan Shannon, PETA’s assistant director, in a note. “If Shane likes Spam a lot, he should buy tickets to the Broadway play but leave it off his dinner plate.”

Several things about this story interest me. One, Shane Victorino has poor taste in food. Two, who knew that Spam actually came from pigs! Three, PETA has GOT to get a life and get over themselves. Four, Don Shannon LOVES shitty puns. When the story was brought to the attention of a Phillies PR rep, the rep said he’d ask Victorino for a comment, after the World Series. After the jump is the letter from PETA, an organization that I wish would just stick to real animal rights issues.

And a hearty h/t to Philly.com for the “Frying Hawaiian” bit.

[Philly.com]

Continue reading ‘The Frying Hawaiian Strikes Again’




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