The Slanch Report

Thanks to the internet, it is a rare occasion these days for me to enter a video store but recently, when I was in upstate NY some friends and I decided to rent some movies. While in the store, we HAD to check out the adult section, if only as a sociological survey to see what was enticing the peoples of upstate New York.

Turns out upstate is all about the anal. But that’s a digression. In the porn section I came across this high-brow title.

Call me old fashioned, but I miss the days when pornos weren’t just rushed out the door immediately after filming. The days when some grizzled old sketchy dude in the valley, wearing a Gold’s Gym tank top and flip-flops over his yellowing toe-nails would at least glance at the cover to a movie before shipping it out to the masses.

Oh the golden years. It seems those days have long past.

Where I am confused by this movie is; if these women are slutty mothers, how are they also husbands? Are they their own husbands? Do they lead bigamous lives with two families, one where they are the husband and one they are the wife? And are they incredibly horny? Or merely presenting an homage to little-discussed Russian author Andrei Bely? Is this a tranny flick? It wasn’t labeled as such and it’d be a shame to mislead the good denizens of the Stone Ridge area.

I was forcibly dragged out of the room and overruled by my narc friends on renting the film.

These questions still haunt me…