07
Apr
08

Where Have you Gone Greg Goldberg?


Shaun Weiss may not be a household name to you, but I can almost guarantee you know his face.

goldberg

If you don’t know him, I’ll give you a hint. He was in one of the top 4 trilogies of all-time, and those are, (in order of greatness): Lord of the Rings, Mighty Ducks, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Star Wars(Honorable mention: Three Ninjas). If you’re still not sure, then quite frankly, I don’t want to know you.

Regardless of your thoughts about the Mighty Duck movies, (that they are awesome is the only correct thought) all you need to know about Shaun Weiss’ character was that he played Greg Goldberg the fat, wise-cracking Jewish goalie. He always had a lame quip to offer up to Emilio Estevez or a nasty fart to let out at an inopportune moment. The portly Weiss had previously parlayed his bulk and quick-humor into some commercials, notably, this 1990s Pizza Hut classic:

Fear not though, after The Mighty Ducks he continued getting regular work, maintaining the same fleshy appearance in such varied works as The Mighty Ducks 2, The Mighty Ducks 3 or in a small role on the much-missed, Freaks and Geeks.

goldberg3

Clearly, he didn’t change much through his teen years. Apparently though, recognizing that as he was nearly 30 this year, he decided that his trademarked chubby cheeks were no longer worth maintaining. Choosing to take the easy route he took some (as yet to me unknown) steps to change himself (let’s assume that it was either dieting or meth.) I for one, find this deplorable. I mean, sure, I guess it’s better for him health-wise or some other similar do-gooder mantra, but tonight, while awaiting the endless cat-eye wisdom Joe Morgan would dispense upon me from Sunday Night Baseball, I saw this commercial:

Unfortunately, when watching that commercial it wasn’t until nearly half-way through that I was able to recognize Weiss as the Goldberg of my youth. Years past, he came on screen and I knew exactly who he was, tonight, he was no longer instantly recognizable. Weiss’ entire career before had been based on playing that marketable, loveable, hugable, squeezable jolly huskeroo. Now, he looks just like some dude. And honestly, kind of a lame one at that.

I don’t know if this is my issue or Shaun’s, (although my guess is that it is his, because it can’t be mine) but there needs to be a long look in the mirror and a decision needs to be made. Are you going to be the Shaun Weiss whom I admired and respected? The young man who earned his way to Los Angeles as member of the US Junior Goodwill hockey team, or the bland bumbling bad friend at appendix surgerhy guy featured in lame ESPN Verizon commercials. Which career will it be Shaun, WHICH WILL IT BE?

If you want to be immediately recognizable (particularly to me, which, let’s face it, you most likely do) than the choice is obvious. Choose the path of right.

Also, this HAS to be the longest anyone, who wasn’t his mother, has ever written anything about Shaun Weiss.


7 Responses to “Where Have you Gone Greg Goldberg?”


  1. 1 Matt Hunter
    April 7, 2008 at 4:28 pm

    No love for his masterful work in the Castrol GTX commercial?

  2. 2 Andrew
    April 7, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    A very short appearance that is overlooked: random bar patron in the Captain Morgan “wedding” commercial. At 23 seconds in he can be seen sitting in the booth saying “the maxi mixers are going fast, how ’bout a demo Phil?” http://youtube.com/watch?v=kum2woR1Kqg

  3. 3 Shaun
    April 27, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Hey, it’s Shaun Weiss. This article is HYSTERICAL and makes me feel famous again. Didn’t lose weight on purpose but the ‘Duck’ money ran out and I’m just not eating as many steaks! And hey, you still recognized me in less than 30 seconds, the other day I stood in line behind Ed Norton at Gelson’s for ten minutes and had no idea till someone told me- so there. And no. not even my mother has ever written anything that long about me. Quack-
    Weiss

  4. 4 Wylie
    May 5, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    I am GOLDBERG…..THE GOALIE!!!

    (Perfectly teamed with Kenan and his knuckle puck)

  5. May 7, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    I spent a summer living in a bunk with Shaun. Nice guy, lousy tennis player, and for some reason people always confused him with the kid from Sandlot despite the flaming orange hair that guy had.

  6. 6 uno
    July 10, 2008 at 10:33 am

    I saw the commercial on TV today. I was wondering if anyone noticed besides me haha.

  7. March 4, 2009 at 9:35 am

    You’re going to want to watch him in this… American Quack!


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