Posts Tagged ‘Commercials

18
Apr
08

Bronson Arroyo Wants You to Taste His Meat

My good friend Jon Eick of SoGoodBlog.com thinks these might be the greatest commercials ever. I won’t go that far, but they are certainly ridiculous.

For those of you unfamiliar with Bronson Arroyo as a musician, take a few minutes to familiarize yourself with his canon, you won’t regret it. Unless of course, you’re someone who as a rule only enjoys good music. Then you might not like it. Then again, you could also be a narc. Are you a narc? You have to tell me, you know that right?

Anyways.

So these local ads have been airing in the Cincinnati area and feature Bronson wailing on his 6 string about the joys of beef.

Look at how hard he is rocking out there! He’s got the head bob, the jiggling guitar and the flowing locks, it’s truly a wonder to behold. It’s like if Creed and Nickelback formed together to create one giant awesome band of suckitude.

I will admit, it is kinda catchy though…

I especially love the guy sitting on the bench, the fake teardrop, and then, the sheer joy and happiness he feels knowing that he is together again with JTM. Look at that smile on his face.

jtm1I don’t know that I have felt, or ever will feel such absolute joy as he has in that moment. I’m jealous. He’s sitting there, saddened by the absence of the Reds but then, BOOM, Bronson reminds him that there is goodness in the world. If that’s not a message of hope than I don’t know what is.

Bronson has a simple dream, to share his meat with all the world. Why won’t we let him? Bronson’s meat is the best. It is delicious, tender, the perfect size and fits wonderfully between buns. Bronson’s meat is sure to satisfy.

The ladies agree, Bronson’s meat is the best!

Really, someone should contact Barack Obama’s campaign, I think we found the message they’ve been looking for in these last weeks of primary season. This truly is the message of hope. YES WE CAN! TOGETHER AGAIN!

And of course a h/t to Sogoodblog.com!

07
Apr
08

Where Have you Gone Greg Goldberg?

Shaun Weiss may not be a household name to you, but I can almost guarantee you know his face.

goldberg

If you don’t know him, I’ll give you a hint. He was in one of the top 4 trilogies of all-time, and those are, (in order of greatness): Lord of the Rings, Mighty Ducks, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Star Wars(Honorable mention: Three Ninjas). If you’re still not sure, then quite frankly, I don’t want to know you.

Regardless of your thoughts about the Mighty Duck movies, (that they are awesome is the only correct thought) all you need to know about Shaun Weiss’ character was that he played Greg Goldberg the fat, wise-cracking Jewish goalie. He always had a lame quip to offer up to Emilio Estevez or a nasty fart to let out at an inopportune moment. The portly Weiss had previously parlayed his bulk and quick-humor into some commercials, notably, this 1990s Pizza Hut classic:

Continue reading ‘Where Have you Gone Greg Goldberg?’




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