Posts Tagged ‘Craigslist


Almost Hooker Gets Her Own Happy Ending, World Series Tickets

102709_Susan_Finkelstein_01.jpgWho knew that offering to be “creative” in payment (wink, wink) in a Craigslist ad could lead to a happy ending!Suzanne Finkelstein, the married self-described “desperate buxom blonde” who was willing to do anything for World Series tickets received a ton of notoriety after her story surfaced.

Finkelstein insisted that she wasn’t pimping herself out but rather that “I was hoping maybe I could get a cheaper price flirting with him. You know, batting my eyes. It’s not unheard of.”

The local Bensalem Police even thoughtfully “sent out the good-looking, blonde, kind of Marine guy,” she said, once he (according to her) brought up sex in exchange for the tickets she was arrested. The story ends well though because a local radio show and car dealership are giving her free tickets to an upcoming game. I didn’t realize that all I need to do to get free tickets to an event is first get arrested for prostitution. Looks like I WILL be making that Itzhak Perlman concert after all!

[NY Daily News]


When Life Hands You Lemons

When true love comes along, if you’re smart, you lock it down and put a ring on it. Alas, for one Pittsburgh resident, that plan didn’t go too well. “Scott” put this ad up on the Pittsburgh’s Craigslist barter board:

Markee cut with 12 little diamonds,Appraised @ 2,500,will take a 1,000 cash or
1,500 dollars worth of penguins tickets must be good seats


Even after crawling through a river of shit, Scott is able to look forward to watching the reigning Stanley Cup champions; he’s a pillar of strength for all men who go through hard times. Scott may have lost the girl he loved, but he still has his team. They’ll get him through this; but don’t get ridiculous, he still wants “good seats.”

Go get ’em buddy, you deserve it!

and in case the link gets taken down, I have a screenshot of it here.


The NBA Finals: Where Craigslist Blowjobs Happen

It’s championship time for the NBA and of course, that leads to some fun craigslist postings. For example, a Medford, MA man posted an ad asking for tickets to an upcoming Celtics game, in exchange for his “hot” wife. Kyle Carter, the classy man in question said in a local interview that this is merely for a dinner date–no promises of hot wife-y action. Carter apparently has a very relaxed wife. “At first she said, ‘Oh, no, there’d be too many crazy people calling us. But she said she’d be open to it. And some of the guys who responded seem pretty normal.” Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar with Medford, the first thing to know is the way to pronounce it. Anyone from there would never pronounce the actual word as it is spelled, instead it comes out more as “MehFuhd.” Also, the stereotypical Bostonian with the accent, every group of friends with a Murph or a Sully, etc. is from the “lovely” town of Medford.

For Carter, this is less about pimping his wife out to strangers as it is about as the opportunity to support the Celtics. “I was a fan ever since I was a kid and I’m in my 30s now. I remember watching them play the Lakers in the ’80s. Now with them in the finals, you get caught up in the excitement and you want to go to the game, but you can’t get a ticket. You can only afford a couple of games anyway if you’re an average guy and that’s quite unfair.” I totally agree, ticket prices have served to price the average fan out of most major events these days. However, at the same time, I don’t know that pimping one’s “hot” wife is the proper way to get around those prices, especially because every girl I know from Mehfuhd attended classes at Busted University and all of them graduated Sigma Cum Laude.

Mr. Romantic and his wife are hopeful that a normal, nice man will step up and give him tickets. After having waited in 12 hour lines and attempting to win tickets in other ways, this might be Carter’s last chance. “I’m just a hardworking guy who wants to get out there and support his team.”

Celtics fans are not alone in playing around on Craigslist regarding the basketball games though. LA fans are apparently hungry and eager for blowjobs regarding the game.

Continue reading ‘The NBA Finals: Where Craigslist Blowjobs Happen’

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

March 2023