Posts Tagged ‘Tim Wakefield

28
Oct
09

Nobody Bites My Wife But Me

In June of 2008, while visiting an art gallery in Hingham, MA, Stacey Wakefield, wife of Red Sox knuckleballer Tim was bitten by an English mastiff, Gabriella, that is the pet of the gallery’s owners. Last June ANOTHER woman was bitten by the dog.

With those two incidents in hand, the Hingham Board of Selectman unanimously voted to have that 8-year-old bitch euthanized.

In rendering their decision the Selectman called the gallery owners, Robert and Megan Ullman “irresponsible.” However, the Ullmans insist their bitch isn’t violent and intend to appeal the decision.

I wouldn’t expect much sympathy from another judge, this dog could have injured the WIFE of a PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER, that kind of negligence just can’t be allowed. Next time it could be the girlfriend of a hockey player, and I just WON’T stand for that.

[WBZ]

17
Nov
08

Girls CAN Play Ball

eriJapan, home to used panties vending machines and pornography collector extraordinaire cum baseball player Hideki Matsui finally has been able to combine these two distinctly Japanese things into one succinct 16 year old package. That would be Eri Yoshida, a 16 year old girl who became the first woman to ever be drafted for a professional baseball league in Japan. The league, a new independent one that will launch in April is excited to feature Yoshida’s devastating side-arm knuckleball that her new manager refers to as a marvel.

“I never dreamed of getting drafted,” Yoshida told reporters Monday, a day after she was selected to play for the Kobe 9 Cruise.

“I have only just been picked by the team and have not achieved anything,” she said. “I want to play as a pro eventually in a higher league.”

The best part, her idol is Tim Wakefield. How many other 16 year old girls adore Tim Wakefield, that makes her OK in my book.

26
Jun
08

Tim Wakefield Got a Lot Uglier

Tim Wakefield pitched a gem of a game last night, allowing 2 hits over seven shutout innings but his most impressive accomplishment was undergoing an intensive Face/Off operation immediately after leaving the game, changing identities with Randy Johnson during the 7th inning stretch. I’m going to assume it was done so that Wakefield could go undercover at the national Ugly Man competition while tracking some missing diamonds.

dsc01691

Wow, he really can do it all, first he was an infielder, than he became a very successful knuckleballer and now he’s also an international crime fighter. Awesome!




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