The Slanch Report

It was a nice Monday morning tournament at Eagle Trace Golf Course in Broomfield, Colorado, a group of young golfers, aged 7-12 were starting their tournament when all of a sudden a bunch of limosines pulled up. If this were an ABC reality show, these kids would be treated to a series of PGA stars who would come out and teach the kids some stuff and change their lives forever.

That didn’t happen.

Instead, out of the limos came the players of Shotgun Willie’s Charity Golf Tournament. The event, paired patrons of the classy local strip club with the strippers who served as caddies.

“It was mistiming,” said Eagle Trace Manager Evelyn Koch. I’d say that’s an understatement. “I cannot tell you the girls didn’t flash out there,” Koch continued, “But it wasn’t a free-for-all.”

For those young kids, this was probably the most influential day of their early golf careers. It probably made them want to play the game all that much more. The PGA should consider this as a potential marketing maneuver.

For the 144 patrons of the strip club who came out for the charity event, this day will also be long remembered. I didn’t even know that golf courses allowed Def Leopard and Motley Crue songs on the courses! Or that the hole flags could be used as stripper poles; they’re much sturdier than I thought.

The article goes on, getting more and more hilarious:

“There was nothing inappropriate going on around the clubhouse when the kids were around,” said golf instructor Dustin Moser, “There was a handful of girls that got a little out of control.”

Moser admitted several dancers were scolded for “top-dropping.”

Golf course workers say the Shotgun Willie’s dancers were not allowed to strip down to their bikinis until after the children had been picked up by their parents.

“They were not allowed to go topless,” said Koch. “They were just flirting with the guys.”

“When I walked into the club house to look for my girls, I saw a woman straddling a male at a dining table,” said a mother who picked up her two children at the golf club……She says her children had quite a few questions on the ride home.

“‘Mom, why is she only wearing underwear?'” she recalled. “‘Mom, why are the girls wearing white and why do the men have water guns?'”

Koch claims she notified Gold Crown that its youth tournament would precede the Shotgun Willie’s event. In an e-mail to parents, Gold Crown Golf Coordinator Jim Hunt denied any advance warning was given about the adult nature of the other tournament.

“Please accept our sincere and heartfelt apology,” said Hunt in his e-mail. “This type of activity is totally unacceptable around our programming and we do not condone the type of behavior your children may have witnessed.”

Quite the day on the links for the young lads. I wonder how much it costs to get the strippers to wash your balls. I hate playing golf with dirty dirty balls. What a great day for Charity. And Cinnamon, Bambi, Candi, Crystal and Destiny.

[FanIQ]