Posts Tagged ‘Chicago Bears


Snow Causes Havoc Up the Eastern Corridor

As snowstorms swirled across the Northeast, Baltimore’s game against the Bears was in serious trouble; the Bears were finding it nearly impossible to get out of Chicago and the Ravens’ stadium was doused in a heavy helping of snow. Worried about being able to get the stadium ready in time the Ravens looked to an unlikely source for assistance.

Joining the 700 workers at M&T Bank Stadium were 125 inmates and supervisors from a nearby prison in helping clear the snow from the field and stands. With 21 inches of snow on the ground, every helping hand was needed, it was the 7th-largest recorded snowfall in Baltimore history.

While criminals were clearing out the stadium in Baltimore, up I-95 the should-be criminals that are Philadelphia sports fans were having some fun playing with the snow that covered their stadium. With the San Francisco 49’ers in town, the Eagles faithful pelted the opposing fans with snowballs throughout the game as this video from the 700 Level shows. Based on the fact that there are already a number of these videos up from yesterday’s game, I think it’s fair to say that these were not isolated incidents from the normally sedate and friendly Philadelphia faithful. 

[Chicago Breaking Sports and 700 Level]


Devin Hester Shows Off a New Moon

(click the image if you’re anxious to see Hester’s butt in it’s full glory)

With just over a minute remaining in Eagles/Bears game Sunday, Bears QB Jay Cutler reached back and fired off a pass to Devin Hester in an effort to gain the crucial first down. The defense was all over Hester and he wasn’t able to corral the ball.

As a personal homage to the success of Twilight’s New Moon domination of the box office, Hester opted to show America the full moon.


The Bears Won’t Tolerate Your Farting Ways

mark-anderson-1If the Chicago Bears defense gets blown out in any game this season, I think we’ll know the reason is due to lack of film study. According to d-lineman Anthony Adams in a blog entry for the Chicago Tribune, the defense has a list of self-imposed fine-worthy offenses in the film room. Falling asleep will cost you $20, jumping offside in practice is another $20, and doing it in a game is $100. Worst of all, farting in the room costs you $20 too.
“Mark Anderson (right) might be the worst farter ever. He takes these protein shakes, so he smells like little babies do. He’s the worst at getting the fines and then saying he didn’t do it…I don’t get fines for farting. I leave outside the meeting room and do my dirt.”
So, it’s safe to safe if the team seems completely lost out on the field someone was ripping some nasty ones in the film room. Uh, go Bears?
[Chicago Tribune]


Bears Can’t Count to 50

Normally the team’s logo goes in the MIDDLE of the field, but the Chicago Bears, ever the trendsetters, instead are caught here painting their logo on the 45 yard line instead. OOPS!

They don’t play at home this week, so presumably this will get fixed. You know, or not, I mean, this is the team that thought Rex Grossman was a starting quarterback in the NFL…




Bengals Add to Their All-DUI Team

The Cincinnati Bengals, owners of an 0-4 record that doesn’t look to get any better with this week’s matchup against the Cowbows added to their roster of malcontents and miscreants by signing former Bears running back Cedric Benson. Of all the teams in the league, Benson made the best possible choice. After all, no one else is so open and accepting of DUI’s and a player of the versatility of Cedric Benson, who can garner a DUI on land and sea should markedly help the team. The Bengals, who have made more headlines off the field than on in recent years seem to have accepted that if they can’t win on the field they might as well make news off the field. I just hope the Bengals players take to Benson more than his Bears teammates did since the Bears tried to injure him in practice so Thomas Jones could play instead…

[Sports Illustrated]


The Bears LOVED Cedric Benson

Now former Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson has taken it upon himself to complete one of the most difficult DUI trifectas. A few weeks ago he was arrested for drunken and disorderly conduct, while driving a boat! (I always thought that was the only way in which one SHOULD drive a boat, but I digress.) Then he recently picked up the much easier and standard DUI for operating a car. Now, Benson just needs to get up in the air for a DUI for flying a plane and he will have completed arguably the hardest cycle to accomplish in sports.

That’s not the end of Benson’s story though. Even though he was released by the Bears a few days ago, he is likely to get picked up by some other team because he does have some game. But that’s not the interesting news about Benson today.cedric-benson-mug-shot-bigger

Jay Glazer a Fox Sports reporter was on Dan Patrick’s radio show and made a very interesting statment, you can listen to it here, saying “There was one guy on that team who those teammates never liked…Hell, one year they tried to hurt him to make sure Thomas Jones could be the starter…Guys would go right at him because there was a competition between him and Thomas…and the thought was to get the first round pick into the starting lineup and Thomas’ teammates didn’t want to see that happen.”

Wow. When your teammates are actively trying to hurt you and knock you out of the lineup it probably means you’re not the most popular fella on the team. This likely doesn’t portend well for the future of Benson. If the franchise that drafts you, gives you a multitude of chances, including dealing away Thomas Jones to give you the starting job but now completely gives up on you, and stories come out that your teammates hated you and went out on the field trying to hurt you, it probably means that finding the next place of work might be a little more difficult. I hear the Arena League is always looking for more players though…

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

April 2023