Archive for June 11th, 2009

11
Jun
09

Stop Mixing Sport Metaphors

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Football
Tags: , ,

Cohen_Body_080805Last year’s 7th round selection Landon Cohen played decently enough to make the Detroit Lions’ roster last season; although I’m not sure that was much of a reward considering how their season turned out.

Concerned that if they released Cohen another team would try to claim him, the team kept 11 defensive lineman, unlike most teams which keep 7-8. MLive.com, the Michigan news website, has this money quote in their article talking about Cohen trying to make the team this year as training camp nears.

It appears that Cohen is going to need another late-inning home run if he’s going to make the Lions’ roster this season. While Cohen has good size at about 300 pounds, his game appears to be more suited for the Tampa Two defense.

So, the defensive lineman in football, now in the late innings, needs to do what exactly? Oh right, a home-run. Maybe that’s why the Lions went 0-16, they were trying to play BASEBALL instead of football!

[MLive.com]

11
Jun
09

Chris Young Just Needs a Hug

By slanch 7 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Baseball
Tags: , , ,

Arizona Diamondbacks center fielder Chris Young only two years ago nearly went 30-30 in his rookie season. Instead of building upon that extraordinary debut, Young has seen his average plummet to Mendoza levels and his power and steals dropping off too. So, in the 9th inning of last night’s game one cute fan figured out exactly what it is he needed, a hug! So she did the only rational thing, jumped onto the field and gave him one. Fortunately for her, the security forces were much much nicer than they normally are to a dude who gets on the field and took her away without tackling her.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

It’s a shame when such a cute girl needs to be arrested. Although, handcuffs can be fun…

[Sports Rubbish]

11
Jun
09

Some Last Thoughts on the Draft

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball
Tags:

Wrapping up some final thoughts about the MLB draft this year.

  • In the 39th round the Sox draft HS OF Gavin McCourt, son of Dodgers owner Frank McCourt. That’s gotta be an awkward moment for the scouting staff of the Dodgers that they didn’t take him…
  • The Pirates take Parker Bangs, a RHP out of the University of South Carolina in the 46th round. Great name.
  • In the 31st round the Giants tabbed Diego Seastrunk, which is just an awesome name.
  • With the last pick of the 40th round the Angels took Muhammad Ali’s adopted 18 year old son, Assad Ali, who plays in the infield.
  • Mike Yastrzemski, grandson of Carl was taken by the Red Sox in the 36th, he’s not expected to sign but who knows! Now, if he were to sign and play for the Sox, could HE wear #8 if he wanted?
  • With pick 1467, the Giants in the 49th round, take Austin Goolsby a catcher out of Emory-Riddle University, when not playing college ball he’s out counseling President Obama on economic affairs.
  • In the 48th round the Yankees drafted Pat White, the QB from West Virginia who the Dolphins drafted in the 2nd round of the NFL draft. In announcing their pick the Yankees said “they wanted him listed as a quarterba– oufielder.” White was previously drafted coming out of high school in the 2nd round by the Angels and turned down a 6 figure bonus in favor of playing college football. He’s not likely to ever play for them, but if he signs a deal they could own his rights for 6 years so if football didn’t pan out…
  • The Red Sox’ 38th round pick, Ezekiel Devoss, is a CF out of Astronaut High School in Florida. SPACE SCHOOL! Awesome.
  • For their pick in the 33rd round the Sox took a RHP HS pitcher named William “Blaze” Tart. Is it too early for me to get his jersey?
  • In the 34th the Reds take RHP Forrest Cannon, which is a great name for a pitcher, even better than Oakland’s Josh Outman (whose brother was taken yesterday.)
  • I hope Detroit’s 36th round pick Benjamin Crumpton can get down and Krump like a pro.
  • Bobby Crosby’s younger brother, Blake was drafted by the A’s in the 42nd round. All 12 A’s fans remaining just lit themselves on fire.
  • Harold Baines Jr. was a 45th round selection for the White Sox, 32 years (and 2866 hits later) after his father was taken by them with the #1 overall selection.
  • Detroit took in the 48th round Jake Porcello, rookie phenom Rick’s younger brother. Their parents really like “k” names.
  • Anthony Scirrotto, who played safety for Penn State and signed as an undrafted free agent with the Panthers after this year’s NFL draft was taken in the 50th round as a SS by the Royals.
  • Alibay Barkley (another AWESOME name) a HS first baseman from NYC was the 1521st and final selection of the draft.
11
Jun
09

This Schwindenhammer Guy Seems a Bit Old…

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Boston
Tags: , , ,

Hey, far be it from me to criticize Theo Epstein and his scouting director Jason McLeod, whose recent results have been spectacular in the MLB draft, but I’m a little concerned about their 5th round selection of Seth Schwindenhammer. While I love the name and the early reviews were that he was a good pick, I still have my doubts, raised mostly by this little information capsule from the Boston Globe.

schwindenhammer
I mean, I’m sure Schwindenhammer is a great guy, but at 81 years old I feel its likely that his best days are behind him. Add in a minimum 2-3 years in the minors and you’re looking at an 84-85 year old rookie and I just don’t know how he could handle the 162 game grind. Also, why is this guy only JUST finishing high school, what has he been doing!?

[Boston Globe]

11
Jun
09

Santonio Holmes Vaporizes His Drug Charges

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: ,

Santonio-Holmes-is-Super-Bowl-MVPBeing the MVP of the Superbowl clearly has some perks; for example, Santonio Holmes, who was pulled over and discovered with 3 blunts in his car on October 23rd, had the charges dropped in court yesterday.

Prosecutors say the traffic stop that led police to find the drugs in Holmes’ car wouldn’t hold up in court.

Holmes’ attorney argued that the traffic stop violated his client’s rights because the search warrant wasn’t specific enough. Prosecutors agreed.

Asked if he was happy with the outcome, Holmes said, “I’m all right.”

Now, granted, it was just a misdemeanor charge, but considering the crusade commissioner Goodell is on to clean up the image of the NFL, the last place ANY player wants to be is on the wrong side of a “Guilty” verdict.

[NFL.com]

11
Jun
09

That is a Long-Distance Goal

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Soccer
Tags: , ,

I agree with Punte over at With Leather, goals this far out should count extra. I guess this is what was going on out on the field while the fans were getting all riled up.

[With Leather]

11
Jun
09

A-Rod Did Steroids!

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball and Boston
Tags: , , , ,

Last night’s Red Sox game featured a nice outcome for me, the Sox taking their 8th straight win over the Yankees (7th this year) but I won’t get overly confident just yet because the last few years this exact scenario has played out several times. Early in the season the Sox roll over the Yankees, later in the year, the Yankees get their turn and then, at the end of the season one team leads the season series 10-9 or 10-8.

However, I did enjoy one bit last night when, in the 9th while facing Jonathan Papelbon, Alex Rodriguez was serenaded by the Fenway faithful with some derisive heckling. As he batted the cheer went up all around Fenway, “YOU DO STEROIDS,” now, I found this very amusing, and I appreciated the elan of the crowd but I will say, I’m a bit disappointed that that was the best the crowd could come up with.

I expect more creativity from the crowd, but I do appreciate the enthusiasm.

[Barstool Sports]

11
Jun
09

Porno Company Wants to Sponsor the Texans

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , ,

In an attempt to raise more revenue streams, the NFL recently announced that they’d allow teams to sell space on their practice jerseys to advertisers, which makes sense because you know how fans LOVE to collect practice jerseys. Anyways, now that the door is open, one company has contacted the Houston Texans about sponsoring part of the jersey and the Texans are left having to make a decision. The company in question is Zero Tolerance, (link NSFW) a porno company.

Because there are fewer industries that know how to drum up interest and free publicity better than porno, Zero Tolerance also released a hilarious press statement with such gems as:

“Every team in the league starts the season by saying, that they’ll have Zero Tolerance for losing,” the company said.  “While our offer may not be taken seriously, there is some undeniable synergy between the NFL and the name of our company.”

Of course, there’s ZERO chance that the Texans take Zero Tolerance up on their bid, but the porn company gets a bunch of free publicity and the Texans get to leverage the offer to up the price on a company that they’d actually accept.

[Pro Football Talk]

11
Jun
09

Steve Nash Makes Me Laugh

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball and Television
Tags: , , ,

Phoenix Suns point guard Steve Nash was on the David Letterman program last night and was gracious enough the day before to have recorded a video while at game 3 of the Finals. You know what, off-the-court Nash is pretty hilarious, we’ve seen his skills as a filmmaker, a tandem bike-rider and now, comedy show segment host. Not too shabby.

Also, I think all 7 Knicks fans left just got giant boners at the thought that Nash would come to NY and reunite with Mike D’Antoni.

11
Jun
09

The NHL Playoffs Are Nearly Over

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Hockey
Tags: , , ,

It’s crazy, it seems like the hockey playoffs just began yesterday. No, I kid, they playoffs in hockey take FOREVER, did you remember that the playoffs began on APRIL 15th!!!! It’ll only be 58 days from start to finish when the puck drops tomorrow for game 7 between the Penguins and Red Wings. 58 days! That seems like a lot. I thought hockey players were tough, they can’t play back to back games or something?

Just to get you in the mood for tomorrow’s final game, here is a delightful flash “game” brought to you by the Detroit Free-Press who have been less than pleased by the way refs call penalties on anyone hitting Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby. Click the picture to get taken to the game. Enjoy!

Sidney

11
Jun
09

Steelers Get Their Diamond-Covered Rings

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , ,

ept_sports_nfl_experts-446182119-1244634507The Superbowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers received their rings this week, commemorating their accomplishment. The rings check in at 3.7 ounces each, featuring 63 diamonds (3.61 carats total), the six large diamonds on the face represent the 6 championships the team has won, the 7 diamonds around the top of the logo are for the team’s 7 conference championships, and the bottom 7 are for the 14 team division titles. On one side of the ring is the players name, his uniform number, the Steelers logo and the NFL logo. The other features the 6 Lombardi trophies sitting inside Heinz Field and the Super Bowl XLIII logo along with the game’s final score.

Continuing the recent tradition of making the rings as gaudy and gigantic as possible, these ones even dwarf the ones the Steelers got 3 years ago. Charlie Batch held up the two compared to each other and the old one looked about half the size. “Everybody’s in awe right now,” Batch said. “When everybody opened his box, it was like ‘Wow!'”

I hope the players enjoy their gaudy new baubles as they have NO chance of getting another one so long as Tom Brady remains healthy. I also hope that the Steelers made sure to triple-check everything written on the ring so they don’t have an embarrassing moment like when they learned — 30 years later — that their 1975 rings were erroneously engraved.
[Shutdown Corner]

11
Jun
09

Face Meet Fist

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Douches and Soccer
Tags: ,

Not content with letting England get all the credit for soccer hooliganism, one Mexican soccer fan does his best to make sure his home country gets its due too by punching a woman sitting next to him in the face. If there are classy things than that, I don’t know them.

(Since I can’t stop the video from auto-playing, after the jump check out the video) Continue reading ‘Face Meet Fist’

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