Archive for June 19th, 2009


When a Walk Becomes Two-Bases

Marco Scutaro, after being issued a free pass, casually jaunted his way up the line. He alertly kept a close eye on the situation at second base and caught the Phillies completely napping, accelerated around first and stole second base. That’s a heads-up play!


Wherein I Take a Quote Out of Context and Make it Sound More Sexual

maria-sharapova-modeling-pictures-2ESPN the Magazine — or as I call it, that thing ESPN sends me every month to throw out — had tennis star Maria Sharapova guest edit their magazine for the June 26th issue. As part of the exercise they asked her some questions about what she would do to make the tennis world better.

Among her answers was this one that I think most fans of women’s tennis would be in favor of: “Athletes should play au naturel.”

Agreed. I’m glad she was the one to say it, because no one seems to be listening to me…

[ESPN the Magazine]


Chris Berman Gets His Star

chrisbermanFrom Awful Announcing comes this press release about the newest celebrities to receive Stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and mixed in among such luminaries as Adam Sandler, James Cameron, Russell Crowe and Jon Cryer is ESPN’s own Chris Berman. Boomer, who has become almost completely unwatchable — both because of his AWFUL hair plugs and his inane nicknaming act that has become staler than stale — and is practically a caricature of himself at this point certainly has been on television for a long time, I just wish they could specify his star was “earned” for his work in the 80s and early 90s before he became so full of himself. Anyhoo, here’s the full press release:

A new group of entertainers in motion pictures, television, live theater, and recording have been selected to receive stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, it was announced today by the Walk of Fame Committee of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce. These individuals were chosen from among hundreds of nominations to the committee at a meeting held June 15, and ratified by the Chamber’s Board of Directors.
The Walk of Fame recipients for the year 2010 are:

James Cameron, Russell Crowe, John Cusack, Colin Firth, Gale Ann Hurd, Alan Menken, Randy Newman, Adam Sandler, Emma Thompson and Mark Wahlberg

Chris Berman, Jon Cryer, Peter Graves, Jimmy Kimmel, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bill Maher, and Sam Waterston

Bryan Adams, The Funk Brothers, Alan Jackson, Chaka Khan, Van Morrison, Marco Antonio Solis, Ringo Starr, ZZ Top and posthumously Roy Orbison

Andrea Bocelli and Cirque Du Soleil/Guy Laliberte

[Awful Announcing]


The Indians Promotions Department is the Best

makeitrainDespite the prognosticators predicting a good season from the Cleveland Indians, someone in their marketing staff knew that wasn’t going to be the case because, for the third time in less than a week, the Indians have ANOTHER awesome giveaway for their fans. First it was the Shin-Soo Choo bobblehead, then the Rick Vaughn one, and now, FREE MONEY ENVELOPES!

All fans 18 years and older will receive an envelope that gives one a chance to win anywhere from $1 to $10,000. You could win 10K just for buying a ticket to a baseball game AND the Cubs are in town? Why didn’t I vacation in Cleveland the last week?!?



Place Your Bets on Their Wandering Eyes

kim-kardashian-grinding-reggie-bush_1_1I couldn’t care less about Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush’s relationship, I care little about either person and she’s not close to hot enough for me to put any effort into her. That said, I both find it amusing, and a tragic sign of our culture that you can now bet on whether or not they will cheat on one another.

Online sportsbook has odds for several celebrity couples being caught in a cheating scandal, including Kendra Wilkinson and Philadelphia Eagles receiver Hank Baskett, who according to the line are the most likely to cheat. Following them are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and then in the third spot, are Kardashian and Bush.

I’m saddened to see that this is even a possible bet you could place. You know you’ve reached full-on degenerate gambler status if you’re placing online bets on celebrity couples’ sex live.

[The Online Wire via Trojan Empire]


Bush Participates in Naming Ritual For Hicks’ Box

Bush1-thumb-547x410-1259791Former President George W. Bush stopped by to take in the Rangers/Astros battle for Texas last night. W, who prior to becoming Governor of Texas was the principal owner of the Rangers was honored before the game by current Rangers owner — and recent defaulter of loans leading him to seek out new partners to buy 49% of the team from him — Tom Hicks who renamed the owner’s box to the President George W. Bush Owner’s Box.

Prior to the game, Bush also visited the Astros clubhouse, stopping in to congratulate Ivan Rodriguez on setting the new record for all-time games caught. Rodriguez who was on the Rangers when W was in command gave the former C-in-C one of his bats from the record-setting game.

Another Astros player, pitcher Tim Byrdak asked Bush if he could get a hug, a request Bush granted, Byrdak then yelled out to his teammates, “And you said it couldn’t be done!”

Bush responded with, “Just as long as he didn’t kiss me.”

It’s times like this that remind me how if only Bush had become the Commissioner of baseball instead of Governor of Texas how much better this entire world would have been. It’s not often you can say you would have changed the world, but no Bush presidency would have made everything better. Sigh.

[Tag Lines]

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The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

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June 2009