Since retiring from tennis full-time, Anna Kournikova has found other ways to keep busy; for instance competing in the Second Annual Nautica South Beach Triathlon, which helps to raise money for St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital. Isn’t that nice! Also, she wears spandex to do it. Isn’t that even nicer!
When the New York Mets decided to cut seating capacity by 26 percent the regular fans weren’t the only ones getting kicked in the junk, the Mets also were meting out pain to 1,200 Little Leaguers. For the past 4 years, Queens Little Leagues have been involved in their own special day at Shea Stadium complete with a pre-game ceremony where the kids would get to line up around the field. I’ve been to these games, and the kids are always super psyched and it is the best thing to ever happen to them. I’d go nuts if I could have done this when I was a kid. NUTS!
Recognizing that getting these young fans now means getting them for life, the Mets have decided to CUT the promotion. Smooth.
Even the government — well, a State Senator, Frank Padavan, who represents Queens — is getting involved. “Some things transcend dollars and cents,” Padavan wrote in a letter, “Mr. Wilpon, I urge you to think of the youngsters who for years have enjoyed a day at the ballpark with their friends, teammates, coaches and parents and reconsider and do the right thing for the children. It’s a rite of passage that will leave a lifetime of memories.”
The Mets are in discussions with the Little League organizers right now, offering the kids can buy tickets, at normal cost, have no parade on the field and no other special treatment. So essentially the Mets are telling these kids to go fuck themselves. I almost want all of these Little Leaguers to become Yankee fans just because the Mets are such assholes.
“In light of the fact that the New York Mets organization enjoys generous tax breaks and subsidies from the state and the city that helped finance and build Citi Field, I believe like many others, that it is imperative that you give something back to the Queens community,” Padavan continued in his letter. “Maintaining your commitment and providing the full and adequate amount of discounted tickets to area Little Leagues is a step in the right direction.”
It’s unclear whether Padavan signed off his letter with the “You Money Grubbing Asshole,” epithet that Wilpon deserves.
Opening Day yesterday is probably something of a holiday for the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council — a group whose BBQs you DEFINITELY want an invite to — after all, according to a statement they released, the NHDaSC predicts that 21,733,839 hot dogs will be sold at stadiums this season. That’s a whole lot of delicious pig anus!
Since everyone loves silly comparisons, the Council also explains that that many hot dogs would go around the bases 30,186 times and stretch to and from Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia and Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, FL, the two sites of the 2008 World Series.
Individually, the Fenway Frank is expected to be the best-selling and most popular dog in the land, with more than 1.5 million expected to be sold.
“There’s no question that hot dogs hit a grand slam year after year,” said Tom Super, spokesman for the Council. “The connection and nostalgia between hot dogs and baseball has been around for over a century. After all, hot dogs were Babe Ruth’s performance enhancing drug of choice.”
Buried in this press release were three other surprising items:
It must be tough being Texas Rangers and Dallas Stars owner Tom Hicks, after all, he is only the 701st richest person in the world and that type of thing can really stick in your craw. So, maybe that’s the reason why his holding company, which controls the Rangers and Stars has defaulted on loans totaling $525 million.
Hicks insists the move was deliberate, as a business strategy to get the banks to change the lending agreements and provide access to reserve accounts and a revolving line of credit. He also said that the whole thing is a “nonevent for the teams, fans, sponsors and vendors.” Of course, this news comes after rumors that Hicks has been actively seeking selling as much as a 49% minority stake in both teams. “We are simply asking the lenders to be reasonable. “Hicks said in an issued statement, “They need to understand that these important assets must be managed with long-term perspective and a commitment to winning.” That’s an interesting strategy, one the Rangers have eschewed since about 1999…
Fans who want to keep Les Bon Temps Roulez in Toronto after last night’s shellacking of the Detroit Tigers are going to find their thirsts unsatiated at the Rogers Centre. Due to prior infractions, the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario informed Rogers Centre officials that for today’s game, the April 21 game against the Rangers and a Toronto Argos-Winnipeg Blue Bombers CFL game on August 1st the building’s liquor license will be suspended. If fans have tickets for those games and the thought of going an entire game without booze is too much to bear, they can exchange the tickets at the Jays box office.
Like country music star Lyle Lovett! Say what you want about Lovett, but he somehow convinced Julia Roberts to elope with him after knowing him for all of three weeks, and his face looks like it was run through a blender, so that’s impressive…
Mentioned in passing yesterady, this doppelganger deserves its own specific post.
Liam Treadwell is a British-born jockey, who is in his debut steeplechase season, he rose to the nation’s consciousness when a BBC reporter insulted his teeth immediately following him winning on a 100-1 long shot. One of the most iconic stories from the now-defunct Weekly World News, the saga of Bat Boy also inspired a hit musical by the same name. These two men share an awfully similar resemblance. Please vote in the poll below so this doppelganger pair can join the others in the doppelganger forest.
And as ever, for a myriad of other doppelgangers, click here to go to the dedicated Doppelgangers page.
I can’t decide what I love more; that Fox News broke in LIVE to see former President Bush throw the first pitch for today’s Rangers game, or the look on the female anchor’s face when they are going to the shot. It’s like her entire life has been waiting for this one very special moment.
Of course, the liberal elite media is hiding Biden’s first pitch offering; it isn’t available online yet. Say what you want about Bush, but the man consistently comes in for the First Pitch and throws strikes and really what more could you want from a leader.
Neil Everett is one of the better Sportscenter anchors, he and his usual partner Scott Van Pelt have great chemistry and Everett allows the highlights to be the focus of the show, as opposed to other anchors who think the show is all about them. The last player in the NHL allowed to play without a helmet, Craig MacTavish spent 10 years as a player for the Edmonton Oilers and is currently in his 10th season as their coach. He’s also the only NHL coach to spend a year in jail for killing someone, something he did after being convicted of a DUI and vehicular manslaughter in 1984. It’s unclear at this time whether Neil Everett has ever killed anyone. Please make sure to vote in the poll below to ensure this doppelganger gets to move on to the illustrious Doppelgangers page.
And don’t miss the many other doppelgangers we have assembled by visiting the aforementioned Doppelgangers page by clicking here.
The BBC has been forced to apologize to Liam Treadwell, the winning jockey of the Grand National Steeplechase race, after the BBC’s reporter Clare Balding “humiliated” him for making fun of his teeth. I didn’t know British people could BE humiliated when it comes to references about their bad teeth, I thought that was just an understood thing…
Fresh off winning the England’s famous steeplechase race, on a 100-1 long shot no less, Treadwell was interviewed by Balding who told him, “Liam, just give us a big grin to the camera. No, no, let’s see your teeth. He hasn’t got the best teeth in the world, but you can afford to go and get them done now if you like.”
Viewers complained in droves to the Beeb, even Treadwell’s mother Lorraine, was upset, saying “‘[Balding] was very mean.” Ooh, SCATHING!
Ms. Balding reached out and apologized directly to Treadwell, sending him a text message, which is pretty much the most classless way to apologize.
“Of course it was the wrong thing for her to say,” Treadwell said after the fact, “and under normal circumstances I might have said something back, but yesterday wasn’t a normal day. I was on top of the world and nothing could ruin that.”
The BBC released their own statement saying, “Clare Balding had no intention of upsetting or embarrassing Liam Treadwell, but fully accepts she should not have raised the subject. The BBC and Clare apologise for any offence caused.”
To be fair, Treadwell’s teeth are truly TERRIFYING; seriously, England, have you guys heard of the many modern advances in dentistry made since, oh I don’t know, the 1400s? I mean, Treadwell looks like Bat Boy for chrissakes.
When I see hard-hitting news exposés like this, I find it hard to believe the newspaper industry is struggling; The Daily Mail, the British tabloid paper had this breaking news story today, “Serena Williams looks buoyant in Miami… but still can’t find a pair of bikini bottoms to fit.” I don’t know how I would have gotten through my day without this kind of information. Of course, since so many people today learn visually, they made sure to add plenty of photographs so we simple-folk could understand. Thanks Daily Mail, keep doing the important stories like these, I’m sure your corporate bottom line will have no problems if you do.
Also, I think Serena’s thighs could crush my head like a grape…
In building their new stadiums, one would think that the Yankees and Mets would think forward and try to make their stadiums as energy-efficient as possible. Being sensible people, both teams instead made stadiums that require TWICE as much energy as the previous iterations. Smart move guys!
The two stadiums use as much electricity as 20,000 homes, with Citi Field clocking in at 11 megawatts, despite being smaller than Yankee stadium which draws a mere 9 megawatts. Shea Stadium only drew 5 megawatts of energy, meaning the new stadium draws nearly 120% more energy. Sure, part of the increase is because both stadiums feature more modern amenities, chief among them the giant HD scoreboards which require plenty of energy to power, but the lack of foresight from both teams regarding energy costs is staggering.
It’s not as though the move towards lowering energy costs is brand-new, or that stadiums can’t be green. The Nationals new stadium, which opened last season, was awarded a silver rating from the US Green Building Council for using 15% LESS energy than their previous home, RFK Stadium. That reduction leads to a savings of over $440,000 per year for the Nats to not spend on improving their team, isn’t that something either NYC team might want too? Of course, neither team sought even to be certified as “green,” and the new Giants stadium being built also has no intention of being so certified. Nicely done guys, seriously, the rest of the planet thanks you for your arrogance and overall douchery.
[NY Post]
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
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