Archive for April 6th, 2009

06
Apr
09

Mission Accomplished: STRIKE!

I can’t decide what I love more; that Fox News broke in LIVE to see former President Bush throw the first pitch for today’s Rangers game, or the look on the female anchor’s face when they are going to the shot. It’s like her entire life has been waiting for this one very special moment.

Of course, the liberal elite media is hiding Biden’s first pitch offering; it isn’t available online yet. Say what you want about Bush, but the man consistently comes in for the First Pitch and throws strikes and really what more could you want from a leader.

06
Apr
09

An Oiler Sportscenter Doppelganger

Neil Everett is one of the better Sportscenter anchors, he and his usual partner Scott Van Pelt have great chemistry and Everett allows the highlights to be the focus of the show, as opposed to other anchors who think the show is all about them. The last player in the NHL allowed to play without a helmet, Craig MacTavish spent 10 years as a player for the Edmonton Oilers and is currently in his 10th season as their coach. He’s also the  only NHL coach to spend a year in jail for killing someone, something he did after being convicted of a DUI and vehicular manslaughter in 1984. It’s unclear at this time whether Neil Everett has ever killed anyone. Please make sure to vote in the poll below to ensure this doppelganger gets to move on to the illustrious Doppelgangers page.

And don’t miss the many other doppelgangers we have assembled by visiting the aforementioned Doppelgangers page by clicking here.

everettmactavish

06
Apr
09

BBC Insults Jockey’s Bad Teeth On Live TV

The BBC has been forced to apologize to Liam Treadwell, the winning jockey of the Grand National Steeplechase race, after the BBC’s reporter Clare Balding “humiliated” him for making fun of his teeth. I didn’t know British people could BE humiliated when it comes to references about their bad teeth, I thought that was just an understood thing…

article-1167902-044ef7c5000005dc-711_468x286Fresh off winning the England’s famous steeplechase race, on a 100-1 long shot no less, Treadwell was interviewed by Balding who told him, “Liam, just give us a big grin to the camera. No, no, let’s see your teeth. He hasn’t got the best teeth in the world, but you can afford to go and get them done now if you like.”

Viewers complained in droves to the Beeb, even Treadwell’s mother Lorraine, was upset, saying “‘[Balding] was very mean.” Ooh, SCATHING!

Ms. Balding reached out and apologized directly to Treadwell, sending him a text message, which is pretty much the most classless way to apologize.

“Of course it was the wrong thing for her to say,” Treadwell said after the fact, “and under normal circumstances I might have said something back, but yesterday wasn’t a normal day. I was on top of the world and nothing could ruin that.”

article-1167902-044ef789000005dc-755_468x2521The BBC released their own statement saying, “Clare Balding had no intention of upsetting or embarrassing Liam Treadwell, but fully accepts she should not have raised the subject. The BBC and Clare apologise for any offence caused.”

To be fair, Treadwell’s teeth are truly TERRIFYING; seriously, England, have you guys heard of the many modern advances in dentistry made since, oh I don’t know, the 1400s? I mean, Treadwell looks like Bat Boy for chrissakes.

[Daily Mail]

06
Apr
09

The Newspaper Industry Knows the News

When I see hard-hitting news exposés like this, I find it hard to believe the newspaper industry is struggling; The Daily Mail, the British tabloid paper had this breaking news story today, “Serena Williams looks buoyant in Miami… but still can’t find a pair of bikini bottoms to fit.” I don’t know how I would have gotten through my day without this kind of information. Of course, since so many people today learn visually, they made sure to add plenty of photographs so we simple-folk could understand. Thanks Daily Mail, keep doing the important stories like these, I’m sure your corporate bottom line will have no problems if you do.

Also, I think Serena’s thighs could crush my head like a grape…

06
Apr
09

NYC Stadiums Are Ruining the World

In building their new stadiums, one would think that the Yankees and Mets would think forward and try to make their stadiums as energy-efficient as possible. Being sensible people, both teams instead made stadiums that require TWICE as much energy as the previous iterations. Smart move guys!

The two stadiums use as much electricity as 20,000 homes, with Citi Field clocking in at 11 megawatts, despite being smaller than Yankee stadium which draws a mere 9 megawatts. Shea Stadium only drew 5 megawatts of energy, meaning the new stadium draws nearly 120% more energy. Sure, part of the increase is because both stadiums feature more modern amenities, chief among them the giant HD scoreboards which require plenty of energy to power, but the lack of foresight from both teams regarding energy costs is staggering.

It’s not as though the move towards lowering energy costs is brand-new, or that stadiums can’t be green. The Nationals new stadium, which opened last season, was awarded a silver rating from the US Green Building Council for using 15% LESS energy than their previous home, RFK Stadium. That reduction leads to a savings of over $440,000 per year for the Nats to not spend on improving their team, isn’t that something either NYC team might want too? Of course, neither team sought even to be certified as “green,” and the new Giants stadium being built also has no intention of being so certified. Nicely done guys, seriously, the rest of the planet thanks you for your arrogance and overall douchery.

[NY Post]

06
Apr
09

Nives Celsius is Raising My…Temperature

Nives Celsius is a Croatian model married to Dino Drpic, a fellow Croat currently plying his trade for Karlsruher SC in the Bundesliga.

Her husband has had a slew of problems recently; for example, his Croatian team, Dinamo Zagreb, terminated his contract in late January due to his gambling problems. The club also previously insisted that Drpic change his uniform number from “69” to “11,” after Nives went on television boasting that the couple had had sex at midfield of Zagreb’s stadium. “Dino had arranged that people should turn on the stadium lights for us and he finally fulfilled his dream of having sex in the middle of a football pitch. It was very naughty,” she told a Serbian talk show. When he was loaned to Karlsruher, Drpic asked for 69 again, and was told the team doesn’t issue numbers that high; except apparently for his teammate Andreas Gorlitz who wears “77”…

Travails like that could be hard on a man, but when you have a wife like Nives Celsius who is down for anything, like say, humping at midfield, life can’t be all bad.

Someday, I’m going to become a big-time European soccer star and all these incredible models are going to throw themselves at me. More than they already do that is…

Anyhoo, here are some photos of Nives’ recent photo shoot for FHM, count me in.


[Sports by Brooks]

06
Apr
09

Now That’s an Impressive Goal

Here is Grafite, a player on Vfl Wolfsburg working awfully hard to score, he does, and damn if it ain’t pretty.

[Fan IQ]




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