Archive for April 22nd, 2009


Broncos Lose a Stallion

20090422__thunder1998p1For 10 years, at every home game in Denver there was one constant presence on the sidelines; Thunder Sr. the horse. Alas, the Littleton Large Animal Clinic reported that Thunder took his last gallop on Saturday.

Since he made his debut on Sept 12, 1993, in a Broncos victory over the San Diego Chargers, Thunder was on the field for some of the franchise’s biggest moments over the following 10 seasons; including appearing at both Super Bowl XXXII and XXXIII.

In 2003, Thunder retired from the game, looking to spend some time with the kids and eat some great hay. Although Thunder himself was irreplaceable, the Broncos went on with a new mascot, Thunder II.

Thunder Sr. was 27 years old.

[Denver Post]


A Basketball Stars Doppelganger

Since she was so dead-on with her prior doppelganger suggestions, here is commenter The Sister offering another one for all you doppelganger maniacs out there.

A former star at UConn, Ben Gordon hasn’t been quite as stellar in the NBA, while there is no doubt that he can score, the other aspects of the NBA game seem to be sometimes beyond him. Once a building block for the Chicago Bulls, now Gordon is more of a strong complementary piece, with the team moving to build around the dynamic Derrick Rose instead. Accused of, and acquitted, of rape charges, Kobe Bryant is also one of the best players in NBA history. Another championship this year w0uld elevate him into the pantheon of the top 5 of all-time. What do you think, did my sister from the same mother find a good doppelganger of brothers from another mother?

VOTE in the poll below and if this receives enough votes, on to the PERMANENT DOPPELGANGER page it will go.



Power Slide the Planet

I had no idea that this was being considered an actual sport, but last Wednesday, in Santa Monica there was a Power Sliding competition. For those of you who are unfamiliar, power sliding is like skateboarding, only instead of grinding on a rail with a board, you slide down it using just your pants.

Now, maybe I’m just out of touch, but this seems retarded to me.

The competition featured a 40-foot high course with rails, boxes and other items for people to grind on.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of teenagers sliding face first down a rail, I just want more of them to break their faces open doing it…

Although, I am in favor of seeing Kendra Wilkinson (who was one of the judges for the competition) from the absymal Girls Next Door taking a rail like this…

[Examiner and The Frisky]


The Ivy Leagues Teach You How to Be a Gentleman

Are there better things than a good hockey fight? How about an NHL hockey fight between two Ivy League grapplers?

Here’s Doug Murray and George Parros squaring off against one another during the San Jose Sharks and Anaheim Ducks game. I love it!


Cricket Goes to the Mountains

While they are waiting for it to be officially ratified by the Guinness Book of Records, two teams of British cricketers believe they have set the record for the highest-altitude for field sports. At the foot of Mount Everest, nearly 17,000 feet above sea level in Gorakshep, Nepal, the teams played one another with Team Hillary edging Team Tenzing. The teams were named after the two men who first climbed the mountain. The organizers of the game are hoping to raise over $365,000 from sponsors for two charities.

[3 News]


“Shit, Give Me a Blowjob. I do the Weather in the Morning.”

I’ve never understood the crowds of people who clamor for college spring football practice information, but it takes all kinds I suppose. If for instance, you were one of the 12 people who decided to tune in to the Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles’ internet broadcast you would have instead heard the studio hosts talking not so much about the game, and more about their desires of banging cheerleaders, as well as dropping an N-bomb, because in Mississippi they LOVE when white guys do that! I particularly enjoy the exchange when one guy says that he humps his bath towels around the 5:45 mark. Classy gents!

Of course, the apology process has already begun

[Every Day Should Be Saturday]


Coach Heads to Jail for Parking in a Pickup

517-wallingembeddedprod_affiliate58If you’re on the volleyball team at Southlake Carroll Senior High School in Southlake, Texas you may view your coach slightly different after coach Wyvonne Walling was arrested for performing a sex act on a local grocery store manager while parked in his pickup truck. Walling, 45, who also serves as the interim girl’s athletic director, head of the physical education department, assistant track coach and as a teacher in a TEEN leadership class was released after posting the $1,000 bail.

The two were spotted by a policeman on patrol near Fairplay Park when he saw the parked vehicle. After approaching the truck, the officer then saw Walling, presumably occupied, and arrested the pair. That doesn’t sound like fair play to me. There isn’t even word whether the grocery store manager finished! That is DEFINITELY not fair play.

What really upsets me about this whole story is that Walling was hooking up with another 45 year old. C’mon lady, don’t you know if you’re a teacher and you’re getting busted for anything sexual it’d BETTER be with a student! You’re doing it wrong!

Unless you’re getting a great deal on meat…I hear the suckling pig is delightful this time of year…

[Star and Telegram]

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

April 2009