Archive for March 12th, 2009

12
Mar
09

MLB Will Use Anyone to Sell Merch

mlb-networkMLB has been working hard to move past the steroids era, distancing themselves from the players who have been tainted by the scandal. Unless of course, those players could help MLB make some more money still…

Teams couldn’t move fast enough away from Barry Bonds, despite him being the all time home run king. But then, for example, here is a screenshot from the MLB Shop where they have special sections for Barry Bonds and Alex Rodriguez. They also have a special section for Chien-Mien Wang, so I don’t know WHAT is going on.

However, I am willing to wager you that anything from the Derek Jeter collection will give you crabs.

12
Mar
09

Goalie Scores on Himself

European soccer is supposed to some of the best and most competitive in the world, of course, that’s the first divisions, Michael Melka is the goalie for Fortuna Dusseldorf of the third division, and it doesn’t look like he’s going to advance any time soon.

I was always under the impression when I played goalie that you should have a clear path to kick the ball. Melka apparently never learned that lesson…

[Sports Rubbish]

12
Mar
09

It’ll Never Get Better Than This

SP_302981_FOUN_GOLF_2 Unni Haskell, 62, moved to St. Petersburg, Florida to enjoy retirement, while there she decided to take up playing golf. After two months of lessons, Haskell felt ready to take on the course itself.

At the 100-yard first hole, she teed up her ball, swung her purple driver as hard as she could and watched as the ball went about 75 yards, then bounced to avoid the bunker, landed on the green and rolled into the hole. Her first swing in golf resulting in an astounding hole-in-one. “I didn’t know it was that big of a deal,” she said. “I thought all golfers do this.”

While not completely unprecedented, this is still pretty remarkable, the odds of an amateur hitting a hole-in-one on any par-3 hole are roughly 12,500 to one.

“We were going to do a putting lesson that day,” her instructor Rick Sopka said. “She said, ‘no,’ she wanted to play. She didn’t even hit a range ball. No warmup at all.”

“I haven’t played since, but I want to,” Haskell said.

Unni, learn a lesson from George Costanza, go out on a high-note. Take up Jai Alai or something instead.

[Tampa Bay.com]

12
Mar
09

Yankee Stadium (But Not Jeter) to be Disease-Free

When the new Yankee Stadium opens next month it will be the first antimicrobial facility in Major League Baseball. Undergoing a special treatment, the stadium itself will kill illness causing microorganisms, molds, fungi and bacteria for up to 3 years.

No word on what this means for Shelley Duncan’s future at the stadium…

[UPI]

12
Mar
09

Get Up You Wuss

Soccer players have the reputation that they hate contact, the slightest touch can set them to flopping and falling and complaining. That’s not the case with Brazilian midfielder Sergio Escudero who bravely soldiers on despite a breeze pushing the linesman’s flag to almost touch his face.

Nah, just kidding, he of course flops down like someone shot him and then looks up astonished at the linesman who I hope tells him to stop being a pussy and get up.

12
Mar
09

Will Perdue ALMOST Measures Up

Orlando Sentinel: You’ve spent your career complaining about floppers and how opponents aren’t man enough to guard you. Does this mean you’re not man enough to guard Dwight Howard?

Shaq: (Bleep) you. I have four rings. How many does he have?

OS: Will Perdue has four rings. Does that mean he’s as good as you?

Shaq: (Bleep) you again.

[Orlando Sentinel]

12
Mar
09

The Most Bad-Assed of Doppelgangers

If you haven’t watched The Wire, quite frankly you’ve missed some of the best television of the last 20 years. One of the shows standout characters was Omar Little (played by Michael K. Williams), a tough SOB who robs drug dealers and is one of the most feared people in Baltimore. When he walks down the street, everyone else runs away, he is infamous for using his shotgun on whoever gets in his way. When Randy Moss was traded to the Patriots in 2007 he instantly became a good citizen and the most dominant receiver in the NFL, putting up stupid video game numbers that are almost unfathomable. One of the absolute best when the ball is in the air, if it is near him usually Randy will pull it down. Please make sure to vote in the poll to let these doppelgangers move on.

And don’t forget to check out all the other excellent doppelgangers HERE.

mossomar




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

March 2009
M T W T F S S
« Feb   Apr »
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  

Categories