Archive for March 18th, 2009


He Shoots, He Scores!

I guess it’s cool to have a pop-a-shot in your basement, but if you don’t win and tokens or stuffed animals, it loses a lot of the excitement for me.

Anyways, here’s a 4 year old who has much better shooting abilities than I do, impressively nailing shot after shot, recording triple digit scores in a minute. Of course, then there is his semi-overbearing dad to record the whole thing and get the kid ready to become a “Cougar.”

[Champions 365]


Swimmer Double Bags it, Gets a DQ

Moderately-attractive Swedish swimmer Therese Alshammar broke her own 50-meter butterfly record in Australia on Tuesday, but the record was short-lived. Officials from the Australian swimming association and FINA, the international swimming authority disqualified Alshammar because she was wearing two bathing suits, a violation of the new rules ratified last weekend.

Alshammar wears the second suit for comfort she told Swedish TV, “In case your swim suit bursts, it’s nice to have a double,” she said. “I have a regular swim suit under my performance suit because it makes me feel more secure and it covers more of my chest. It’s not something that makes you swim faster. If anything it makes you slower to have such a swimsuit underneath.”

Didn’t she know that double-bagging leads to too much friction and can cause problems?



I Hate Waiting Around for Wood

Some of the porn industry’s biggest “stars” are banding together in an effort to get some more rights for the workers. Desmond Wright, the president of the Association for the Protection of Adult Workers cites some of the concerns for adult performers.

“Groin pulls, dry skin, injuries from falls, all these things are major issues for the industry. Many people don’t realize that wrist related injuries are responsible for more lost man hours in the industry than any other injuries combined. These types of injuries result in massive amounts of lost revenue both for workers and for producers. You can imagine what it’s like to get to the end of a scene and a performer has a bum wrist. All of a sudden a clean shoot becomes a wreck and dozens of dollars are lost.

Producers are against the efforts to get worker’s compensation, but when you hear such impassioned cries from major stars in the industry such as this one, I don’t know how you can idly stand by.

“People need to understand that there are a number of workers and performers that go into making an adult film work and we need them to be healthy and happy,” said Briana Banks, one of the industry’s most respected performers. “From fluffers to stunt cocks, these are the people that bring the magic to the movies and they need to be protected just like us stars. If for no other reason than to just make sure shoots go smoothly and we don’t waste time waiting around for wood.”

[Scrape TV via The Big Lead]


When Birds Attack

As part of the festivities for opening day, The Seattle Sounders of the MLS were initially planning on releasing some doves that were supposed to fly around the stadium. Unfortunately for the team, owned in part by comedian Drew Carey, three hawks swooped down and tore the doves to shreds. One of the hawks reportedly dropped one of the dove carcasses into the stands before diving back down for some more.

The club has since changed their opening ceremonies.


[HotDog and Friends via Deadspin]


Sox Uniforms This Year Don’t Make Me Barf

For the last few years the Red Sox have donned special green uniforms in honor of St. Patrick’s Day–and last year also to celebrate the Celtics’ championship–the ones that they used recently were AWFUL, looking like some cheap softball beer league uniforms more than those of a Major League team. This year, the team made a switch, opting for their classic white uniforms with special green lettering and a clover patch of the sleeve. Classy, stylish and much better way to celebrate St. Paddy’s day. I’m still not crazy about the green hats, but one battle at a time.



I Like Shiny Things

Owning the fastest convertible available, the Mercedes McLaren wasn’t enough for Arsenal defender William Gallas, he needed something a little showier. So, Gallas decided to push the envelope a bit, turning his sweet ride into an all chrome affair; take that Xhibit!

article-0-03e8f489000005dc-177_468x353Here Gallas is arriving for the Mikael Silvestre Schools For Hope Charity Dinner, because nothing says charity like rolling up in a car that costs just short of 500K. The McLaren can reach speeds of up to 207 mph so, now I’m anxious to hear about Gallas causing major traffic accidents on a nice summer day when the sunlight hits off the car and blinds half of the motorists around him. That should be fun…

Some other athlete is going to have to try and up the ante here, I wonder what the next move will be, all gold car? Platinum? Regardless, I’m excited. One thing that saddens me, Gallas spent all that money to chrome out his whip but didn’t go all in for the spinners for his rims, how can you forget the spinners!?!

[Daily Mail via With Leather]


Goalies are Not Infallible

Not just a compilation of a series of goalie mistakes, there’s a loud, techno crap song too, what more could you want to start your afternoon? The best is the guy who tries to throw the ball and instead throws it behind him.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

March 2009
« Feb   Apr »