Archive for March 11th, 2009


Six Year Old Climbs 5 Mt. Everests

tomfryerWhen Tom Fryers was born six years ago, he nearly died from breathing issues, but some skillful work by doctors kept him alive and he’s doing everything he can to repay their good actions.

For the last 62 days, the Oxspring, South Yorks native has hiked up 214 mountain peaks in the Lake District part of North West England, the combined height of the mountains equals 5(!) Mt. Everests. Traveling 480 miles, he has done it all, including in one hardcore 15-mile sojourn conquering the two highest peaks in England the 3,162 foot Scafell and the 3,209 foot Scafell Pike. His efforts have raised almost $3,500 for the hospital’s special-care baby unit.

His dad, Paul has joined his son throughout the journey. “It’s a miracle Tom survived. Now he couldn’t be more alive.”

Tom, who started climbing at just 3½, said: “The best part is going down — but it’s also good being at the top.”

I feel old and lazy. Ah well, back to blogging!

[The Sun]


Baseball Cards Enter the 31st Century

null-640569223-1236708617Baseball cards used to be the coolest thing ever, of course, I was 8 at the time and little else going on…now I have wireless internet, so I’m gaining in the world!

Unfortunately, baseball cards have become a dwindling industry, going from being a billion dollar powerhouse to a $200 million pathetic hot mess. So, in an effort to spice up their fortunes, Topps is looking to completely revolutionize the way cards are looked at. Taking your new Topps cards and placing them in front of your computer’s webcam and the picture on the card will turn 3-D! Move the card and the player will rotate with you letting you see everything, even his rippling muscles!

Topps, owned now by former Disney chairman Michael Eisner is desperate to rekindle interest in their cards and are hoping that the “Total Immersion” technology will respark desire and collecting. I personally doubt that this will make any difference. Maybe if the cards did it on their own, but needing to bring them to the computer is simply too much effort for me. We’ll see I suppose…



For the Win!

From the University of Dayton Arena comes this awesome buzzer beating shot from Casey Weber of Dayton Christian Academy in the sectional finals. No big deal, it’s only 90 feet!


The Perfect Symbol for College Basketball

March Madness is, unfortunately, soon approaching. College basketball fans everywhere will plant themselves in front of TVs to watch bad basketball being played and presumably will be excited by it. I guess there is no accounting for taste…

Anyhoo, a couple of urology joints are taking advantage of the situation, offering March Madness-related vasectomies, because nothing symbolizes college basketball better than an empty load.

The Austin based Urology Team is presenting Vas Madness, while the Oregon Urology Institute is presenting Snip City.

“You know, the thing that really spurred this whole thing is that so many men aren’t interested in sitting still very long,” said Vikki Smith, community liaison for The Urology Team, a practice with eight surgeons. “So we thought what could be a more natural combination than sitting in front of a TV set for three days and getting a vasectomy? It’s the perfect excuse to look at the wife and say, ‘Honey, I’ve got to stay on the couch for three days. Doctor’s orders.’ “

Now, being forced to watch college basketball is bad enough, but to lose my man seed too?!! Yowzers, count me OUT. Apparently enough people are clamoring for this though, the Oregon group is doing this promotion for the second year in a row, so it must have been popular enough but I simply don’t get it. Then again, I don’t see the appeal in March Madness either so…

[Lion in Oil]


Old Lady Takes on All Comers

Her family calls her “Amazing Grace” because the 91 year old Grace Foster continues to astound those around her, most recently when she broke a track and field record. Her time of 26.95 seconds in the 60-meter sprint for women ages 90 to 94 shattered the previous mark by nearly five seconds! The previous record – 31.82 seconds – was set last year at the World Indoor Masters Championships in France.

I didn’t even know they had record books for people that old. Isn’t every day a record-setting appearance at that point?

Greg Foster, her son who coaches track at the high school level was the one to suggest his aged mother enter the meet. “I’ve done masters track, and when I’m there I’d see older people in their 70s and 80s and they’d be moving around,” Greg Foster said. “I would think about my mom chasing her grandkids and I really thought she could beat some of those people [in a race]. I thought that she could be an inspiration to so many people and she’s an inspiration to me.”

“I’ve been walking for years, and I’ve always exercised, but this was my first track meet,” Grace said.

Foster isn’t done yet, she has 2 other meets planned for later this year, and she intends to break her record. “I’m hoping to. I believe that whatever I do next, I’ll be the winner.”

Meanwhile, I was at a dance party on Friday and am only now not sore anymore. Sigh.

[Philly Burbs]


He’s a Half-Full Kinda Guy

Tyrell Clay is a student at West Virginia University, and was given the chance to make a half-court shot during a recent game, if he made it, he’d receive a $17,500 scholarship. Unfortunately his shot was JUST off, but he took it in stride and decided to psych up the crowd a little bit with a throw-down dunk. I like his positive attitude!


Dr. Phil Turns the Tables

For those of you who are too busy to watch Dr. Phil, you might have missed seeing Monday’s episode about gold digger women. As part of the show, Indianapolis Colts All-Pro defensive end Dwight Freeney pretended to be a limo driver for two of the female guests as part of an experiment.

Subtly trying to ask them out, Freeney, signed to the largest defensive player contract in the NFL, a $76 million contract, was turned down rudely by both women.

“What’s the show about?” he asks, once they are comfortably settled in the car.

“Gold diggers,” Baje replies in a bored tone.

“Rich people are sexy. They have that swag,” Michelle says.

“Guys who really have it, they don’t have to be on Front Street. They don’t have to overdo it. They don’t have to prove anything to anybody,” Baje explains.

“You guys going out tonight?” the driver asks. “Going out with anybody?”

“By ourselves. I usually don’t go to the club with guys, because that kind of defeats the purpose,” Baje says.

“What would be the benefit of you going out with us? Do you know owners of clubs so we can just walk in?” Michelle asks. “Do you want to be my bodyguard?”

Freeney, who is single, understands that there are plenty of gold digging people out there and said that he needs to be mindful of them. “Yeah, it becomes a concern, and it kind of changes your lifestyle,” he said. “As a guy, you want to go out there and find someone who’s genuine, somebody who likes you for you.”



Cody Ransom Has Ups

When Alex Rodriguez announced his conveniently timed injury, Yankees outfielder Johnny Damon said that the Yankees wouldn’t be completely screwed over, because A-Rod’s likely replacement, Cody Ransom is “probably the best athlete on this team.” For example, there is this video of Ransom showing off his ridiculous 60 inch vertical leaping ability. That’s 5 FEET! I don’t know how useful vertical leaping ability is in baseball, but, you know, still pretty awesome.


[NY Times]


Today in History

Taking a moment out of the fun times I wanted to do a little self-congratulations; today is the one-year anniversary of the Slanch Report!

When I got into the blogging game, I knew I was in for a wild ride. The crazed groupies, the wild parties, the drugs, it all really happens, the sheer fame I’ve received from this blog has been amazing. Now, when I walk into my living room everyone there knows my name, I’m FAMOUS!

Our first post, revealing some of the prophecies in the epic cinema piece Independence Day, took the world by storm, and since then, I have done my damnedest to bring you some of the best, most interesting sports stories and interesting news. I hope you’ve enjoyed it.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read and enjoyed the Slanch Report, I hope you keep coming back and don’t forget to tell your friends. Please keep up the comments and the let’s keep the conversations going, got an opinion on anything I write, let everyone know, think my grammar sucks? Throw a comment out there. Together we can make this the best blog on the internet.

And of course, critical comments are always welcome too; if I’m doing something that sucks or that you hate, please let me know, we are constantly evolving here and our crack team wants to do everything to provide you with the best experience possible.

Some statistics from this past year:

Continue reading ‘Today in History’

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The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

March 2009