Posts Tagged ‘Self-Inserted Catheter

07
Oct
09

Marathoner Johncock Inserts Stranger’s Catheter Into His Johnson Mid-Race

JerryJohncock_300At the age of 50, Jerry Johncock began running, in the 31 years since he has competed in more than 400 races, from 5Ks to 50ks and over 100 marathons; last year in the Twin Cities Marathon he set the US marathon record for men ages 80-84. This year during the same marathon he arrived at mile 21 with a problem.

Johncock desperately needed to urinate but he wasn’t able to get anything out. Having had a similar issue in the past, he recognized it as being caused by a blood clot in his urethra. Race officials at the aid station didn’t have anything to help him and were recommending he go to the hospital. However, since he started racing Johncock has never dropped out of a race.

“I wanted to finish. I didn’t want to go to the hospital.” He explained afterwards. An onlooker in the crowd heard about the issue and volunteered that he just happened to have a spare catheter in his car.

“I said, ‘Oh, you saved my life. And you saved my marathon.'” Then, in a feat much more impressive than his racing records, Johncock inserted the catheter into his own john-cock, “What a relief that was. I must have had a pint of urine inside me,” he said.

Finally relieved, Johncock got back onto the course and finished the marathon with a time of 5:22:17. While he was well off his record pace of 3:59:12 from last year he still placed first in his age group.

I feel lazy and inept compared to this upstanding gentleman. I think if someone told me I had to insert a catheter into myself I would probably just pass out. And to finish the race! Wow! I’m also very intrigued by this by-stander who just drives around with plenty of spare catheters hanging out in his car; who is this person and WHY is he always putting tubes into his pee-hole?

[Twin Cities]




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other followers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

June 2019
M T W T F S S
« Jan    
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930

Categories