Archive for August, 2009

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10
Aug
09

The Spanish Like Their Soccer Teams

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Soccer and Television
Tags: , ,

Spanish La Liga team Getafe FC just barely escaped relegation last season thanks to goal differential, and are essentially the San Diego Padres of Spanish soccer. While the product on the field may not measure up, the marketing staff is doing yeoman’s work coming out with some bat-shit crazy ads. I don’t speak Spanish, but I don’t need to to appreciate the insanity that is these ads.

For instance, there is this one, featuring some iconic (Christian) religious icons and ends with the classic tagline, “my team comes first.” Take that Yahweh and Jesus! Sure burning at the stake might have been bad for Joan of Arc, but think of the joy of rooting on a miserable soccer team! If Jesus were alive today he’d prefer you root for Getafe after all…

If that’s not enough, how about a man birthing an egg out of which comes a midget who yells, “DONDE!” Classic advertising technique…

Wouldn’t you love to see the Bengals whip out a similar campaign?

[The Sporting News]

10
Aug
09

Hossa Finally Takes Home Lord Stanley

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Hockey
Tags: , , , ,

ept_sports_nhl_experts-471585112-1249761449Attending the Golden Puck Awards in Slovakia, newly-minted Chicago Blackhawk, Marian Hossa, was in attendance to receive the award for best forward. Along with his trophy, Hossa — who left the Pittsburgh Penguins after last year’s Stanley Cup loss to try and win one with Detroit instead (this year’s losers to the Penguins) — was given a goat named Stanley as a joke on his poor decision-making. Since the Slovokian word for goat is “cap”, he won the Stanley Cap! Finally!

You did it Marian!

[Puck Daddy]

10
Aug
09

To the Windows! To the WALL!

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , ,

We all know by now that I don’t care a whit about NASCAR, and if you don’t know that, know it now. That said, I can appreciate a good crash like any other honkey out there. Here’s Jason Leffler out at Watkins Glen blowing through turn 9 and putting himself into the wall.

I once crashed a car like that too…

10
Aug
09

Three Cheers for the Cheerleaders

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Football and Hot Women
Tags: , ,

Football training camps are in full swing and you know what that means, no not football games starting soon, something WAY more important; the teams’ cheerleaders are putting out their newest calendars! Thank GOD! My parents went on vacation a few years ago and brought me back a signed copy of the St. Louis Rams cheerleaders calendar and it remains a precious memento. Every year these various teams of talented ladies put out helpful calendars that let you know EXACTLY what month it is in just a glance.

So, it was with much ado and pomp that the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders, with some help from rapper T-Pain, released their latest calendar venture. God bless America!

full_miami_dolphin_cheerleaders_04_wenn5333967

[Bitten and Bound]

10
Aug
09

Is it Hot in Here or is it Me?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports, People Hurting Themselves and Random
Tags: , , ,

ALeqM5hIiGjXo8B__pWbF2p924_w_6My_AFinland, known for it’s wife-carrying and ice-swimming competitions has, since 1999, held the World Sauna Championships wherein competitors are challenged to stay in a sauna heated to 230 degrees for as long as possible.

Drawing in 150 competitors from over 20 countries, the championship was taken this year by Finland’s own, Timo Kaukonen, who withstood the heat of the sauna for 3 minutes 46 seconds. The second place finisher, Ilkka Poeyhiae lost by 2 seconds. That HAS to burn his ass.

The initial idea for the event came when a group of men frightened other patrons at a Heinola swimming hall when they threw so much water on the sauna’s stove that it became piping hot.

“This is a wrong way to go to sauna, this is not about relaxing, this is competition,” Ossi Arvela, the head of the competition, told reporters.

[Fiji Live]

10
Aug
09

Michelle Wie Has a Potty Mouth

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Golf
Tags: , ,

Michelle Wie took some time out of her schedule to stop by Dodgers Stadium over the weekend and throw out the first pitch. In addition she took part in an impromptu putting session with beefy Dodgers closer Jonathan Broxton. After all that she took the time to speak with Fox Sports and drop an innocuous “kick ass” on TV. Fun! She seems just like any other normal, super-athletic 19 year old superstar.

10
Aug
09

Where the Married Women At?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Basketball, Douches and Hot Women
Tags: , , ,

article-1205333-05FE7998000005DC-0_468x286_popup

It’s not certain who hired a plane to fly around several southern California beaches trailing a sign reading “Reggie Miller Stop Pursuing Married Women,” but whomever it was has a great sense of humor. The expensive stunt likely was done by Alex Von Furstenberg (son of fashion designer Diane) who had a restraining order written up, but never filed, against the former Indiana Pacers star.

Reportedly, Miller met Ali Kay, Von Furstenberg’s fiancee, at a party last July, in March of this year he bumped into her in a grocery store and then waited an hour outside the store until she came out. I always thought that was CHARMING, not stalking…He then sent her 53 text messages over the period of 4 hours. In addition, Reggie stopped by the surf store that Von Furstenberg owns and, according to AVF, “‘[Miller] said he had friends with guns. He implied I would get hurt if I didn’t stop questioning him on his inappropriate pursuit of my fiancee and his attempts to subvert his efforts.”

In a later statement issued by Von Furstenberg and his attorney, Alex said, “I was very upset about Reggie’s behavior towards my fiancée. I think people in Malibu share my views that being a famous basketball player should not provide some sort of shield against inappropriate behaviour. Reggie sincerely apologized to me on a phone call with Ronald Richards, his attorney, and myself. I cannot comment further on the matter as I believe it has been resolved.”

So, perhaps it wasn’t AVF and instead was another (attempted) cuckold husband? Look out ladies of Malibu, Reggie’s on the prowl!

At least Reggie has really good taste, as evidenced by this photo of AVF and his fiancee Ali Kay. Yowzers!

article-1205333-0602DCA3000005DC-457_468x675[Daily Mail]

10
Aug
09

I’m Ready for Some Football

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , , ,

Football is BACK! Last night was the start of the preseason games with the Buffalo Bills taking on the Tennessee Titans in the annual Hall of Fame game. Early in the first quarter, the Titans’ backup punter, AJ Trapasso came on in a 4th and 10 situation. He executes a totally awesome fake and then takes it 40 yards to the house. Football is back!

10
Aug
09

Weiner Looks Like One Too

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Boston
Tags: , ,

David+Ortiz+Press+Conference+eubpPAHUdX7lHey Michael Weiner, so, it’s your first major press conference as the soon-to-be Executive Director of the MLB Players Association, the site is Yankee Stadium in the midst of a Red Sox/Yankees series and the issue at hand is David Ortiz responding to steroid allegations. What are you going to do hotshot? What. Do. You. Do. Call me crazy, but maybe throw a tie on? Button the shirt? Run a comb, or even your hand through your hair?

What’s going on Weiner, you just wake up? Struggle with that tough choice that all men are faced with, leave 3 or 4 buttons undone?

I know it was 11 am on a Saturday, but really, looking presentable is too much? I’m all for casual, but Weiner looked like total shit at this press conference, meanwhile Ortiz looks stylin’. If I’m in the Players Association I’m asking “This is the guy we’ve chosen to represent us?” He looks like a random insane person plucked off the side of the street to sit alongside Ortiz. Seriously, look at that picture again and tell me it doesn’t seem like Weiner has to wear aluminum foil to prevent the aliens from listening in on his thoughts…

07
Aug
09

You’re Supposed to Yell “Fore”

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Awesome and Golf
Tags: , ,

Here is Sergio Garcia teeing off at the Bridgestone Invitational and slamming one off the dome of a spectator. I’d feel bad for the spectator but he CHOSE to go watch golfers in person, he already has mental problems.

Sergio was nice enough to shake hands with the man and give him an autographed ball. Almost worth it. No, not really.

07
Aug
09

Rumble Strips to Ruin Road Race?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

Nevada_rumble_stripsIf you’re a small town in the middle of the Nevada desert whose sole claim to fame is a road race determined by Guinness World Records as the “world’s fastest road race,” maybe altering the road isn’t such a great idea.

In an effort to prevent “run-off fatalities,” the Nevada Department of Transportation intends to place rumble strips on a stretch of State Route 318 in between Lund and Hiko. Sure, like saving lives is worthwhile or important…

The problem is that the Silver State Classic Challenge, a road race where the participants are given the “opportunity to go as fast as [they] want on a stretch of Nevada public highway,” takes place on that self-same 90 mile stretch of highway. The local politicians are understandably reticent, not wanting to lose out on that sweet racing money that comes in twice a year (in Ely,  the town pulled in a cool $1.5 million from the race alone.)

The mayor of Ely, Nevada, Jon Hickman, recently told a local newspaper that the rumble strips would pose a safety hazard for drivers traveling up to 200 mph because ‘they’re designed for somebody who is going 70 miles per hour. If (racers) hit the strips it would throw them off a bit,’

The SSCC has been held twice a year ever since 1988 with the next one scheduled to take place on September 17-20. That means there’s still plenty of time for you to make your way there and get in the race.

[Failure Mag]

07
Aug
09

The Giants Fail at Bobbleheads

By slanch 8 Comments
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , ,

0807_miller_bobblehead

Bobblehead promotions are one of the easiest ways to entice fans to come to the ballpark; after all, who doesn’t love free collectibles of their favorite players? Unlike the Cleveland Indians who know how to make the coolest and most interesting bobbleheads (here, here and here), the San Francisco Giants marketing staff has some work to do. That is, unless you’re some HUGE Jon Miller fan…

I know I’ve been waiting my WHOLE life for the chance to have Miller’s bobbing Hawaiian-shirted visage grace my home. And look at that smile! Now isn’t that precisely what you want staring at you as you doze off to sleep at night?

I thought promotions were something you were supposed to get you to WANT to go to the game…Do not WANT.

[San Francisco Giants]

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