Archive for October, 2008



29
Oct
08

Beckham Knows What He Likes

We know that David Beckham loves himself some cheerleaders, after all, who could forget this hilarious photo of him staring at cheerleaders’ butts until his wife gets mad? Or this one of him staring at some ass with his son sitting next to him? Prior to being sent back to European soccer and his off-season transfer to AC Milan, Becks took in the Los Angeles Lakers’ opener last night, and made sure to take in the view. I love how concentrated he is on the booties, it’s like this is one the moment of happiness he is able to get in his life. Hold on tight Becks, never let go.

[Celeb Slam]

29
Oct
08

Brett Myers Remains a Scumbag

“I know there are people out there that think I’m a jerk. There are people out there who think I’m a wife-beater. That will never change,” says Phillies pitcher Brett Myers, referring to the 2006 incident in which he was arrested and charged in Boston with assaulting his wife, Kim. THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING WIFE-BEATER WHO BEAT HIS WIFE ON THE FUCKING STREET YOU ASSHOLE!

Myers told THE USA Today that had the Red Sox made the World Series he would have asked manager Charlie Manuel to rearrange the rotation so he wouldn’t have to start in Boston because the fans there were mean to him. For those of you who remember, Myers was arrested for HITTING HIS WIFE on the streets the day before he was supposed to start at Fenway and then pitched the next day. The fans in Boston were less than polite to him, rightly so, as he is a scumbag who is barely better than a child molester.

“But you know what, I really don’t care what people think about me. … If people don’t like me, they can deal with it. This is who I am.” No, clearly you DO care because you were too scared to pitch in Boston. Furthermore, if you didn’t care you wouldn’t be trying to defend yourself. You’d just ignore the question.

Myers lowers his head. He blinks away the wetness in his eyes and speaks almost in a whisper. “I just wish people took time to know me before they make judgments,” Myers says. “That’s all I ask. They think I’m this rude guy who doesn’t appreciate what I got. If only they knew.”

No, I’m sure you appreciate very much being in a position of wealth and fame that enables you to avoid serious charges against you because of your celebrity. I’m certain you appreciate that your wife dropped the charges and defended you, even though I don’t understand how she could. However, I will not, and no one EVER should feel SORRY for you.

  1. You don’t hit your wife,
  2. You DON’T HIT YOUR WIFE,
  3. Don’t be a scumbaggy douche.

“They say I dragged my wife by her hair,” Myers says. “Never happened. They say I kicked her and threw her around like a rag doll. Never happened. I never did anything to her. There was nothing on her face. I was actually trying to protect her and get her to her room. She didn’t want to go, and things got carried away. When you’re both heavily intoxicated, that stuff does stuff to you you’re not supposed to do.”

Who is they? The witnesses who saw you do these things to her on the streets of Kenmore Square? The rando people who had no idea you were a professional baseball player and had no agenda except trying to stop a man who is a foot taller, 120 plus pounds heavier from HITTING HIS WIFE. Yeah that seems likely. I’m so glad that USA Today took the time to try and give him a chance to speak. By which I mean they should be ashamed of themselves for trying to fluff over and let him make bullshit claims to try and right his image.

29
Oct
08

Everything Can Be Made Extreme

I don’t particularly understand what is going on in this video, this is supposedly “extreme arm wrestling” but it seems mostly like tying to guys together and then letting them whale on one another. Which of course, I’m in favor of, I just wish I could understand the rationale. Ah well. Go for the nuts! I can’t stop the video from autoplaying so it’s below the jump.

Continue reading ‘Everything Can Be Made Extreme’

29
Oct
08

Yeowch

Who else didn’t watch the Marshall/Houston college football game that was on last night? I’m going to assume one team won, but I could care less which that team was as I’m sure you don’t care either. What I am interested in is WR Patrick Edwards going after an overthrown ball out of the end zone and breaking his leg in a nasty manner. I guess I’m a morbid kinda guy…oh well, it’s almost Halloween.

28
Oct
08

No Game Tonight!

The weather is expected to continue getting worse and worse tonight and MLB has already canceled the game for tonight, with play expected to resume on Wednesday. Wow.

28
Oct
08

Them Goalie Masks Be Crazy

Because I just can’t seem to escape hockey stuff over the last week here is an AMAZING slide show of the various goalie masks being used around the league this season. I still miss Andy Moog’s open mouth Bruin mask from back in the day but these are pretty damn dope and there are plenty more in the slide show here. Check it out!

kari-lehtonenbillwippert1

Kari Lehton - Atlanta Thrashers

28
Oct
08

The Tight Pants Are Form Fitting

Missouri quarterback Chase Daniel watches a lot of other college football to stay abreast of the competition–or maybe he’s staying a-assed of the competition–because it seems when those games are on he may not be solely focused on the action on the field. Here’s a clip of him talking to Kirk Herbstreit about Texas QB Colt McCoy. One word to the wise, football players are generally NOT the most open group of people and telling another player that you think he’s got a great ass may not go over great. That could be just me though…Sure you could say it was an accidental slip, but Freud would disagree, and he did a lot of cocaine so you really want to mess with him?

[Hugging Harold Reynolds]

27
Oct
08

Marissa Miller Pitches For Razors

Now I don’t generally like to provide free viral advertising, I’m much more likely to post something if it has someone like Marissa Miller involved. So here’s a new ad for some Remington razor something or other,who cares featuring Miller and Milwaukee Brewers slugger Ryan Braun. What matters is Marissa Miller. What matters more is that this video is about as close to soft-core porn as commercials go. It also features more sex puns and euphemistic language than I’ve ever seen. In 2 minutes plus I think they make approximately 2000 sexual references. The classiest? Marissa Miller asking Ryan Braun why he isn’t off signing some kid’s balls, with the balls part heavily emphasized. I was unaware that Braun was so into kid’s testes. Let’s hope he isn’t, he and Kevin Youkilis are the vanguard for the Jewish athlete revival and we don’t need that kind of bad publicity. We’d also like to suggest that Marlon Brando he ain’t and mayhaps Braun should do more with his bat and less with the acting.

Anyways, here’s Marissa, enjoy!

[The Angry T]

27
Oct
08

A Slow Moving Golf Cart Disaster

In a hilarious bit of odd news, comes this video of a kid accidentally driving a golf cart across a football field before a game and hitting the ref. It seems that no one knows how the kid got into the golf cart but once he started getting going he was unable to stop it and, despite being chased across the field he hits the ref with the cart before his joyride of terror can be stopped. It all occurred prior to a high school football game in Springfield, Oregon on October 17. It looks like the golf cart chase was the most exciting part of the night as the game ended in a 68-14 lopsided victory. The ref toughed it out and stayed and called the entire game without incident. However, it doesn’t say much for the moves of the ref that he’s unable to avoid a slow moving golf cart driven by a child…Anyhoo, check out the video after the jump. Continue reading ‘A Slow Moving Golf Cart Disaster’

27
Oct
08

A Weighty Hit

Not to become all Canadian or something, and of course, the absolute LAST thing I want to do is make this a hockey blog, BUT, here’s another awesome hit from a game over the weekend. In this clip, New York Islander Doug Weight knocks the snot out of Brandon Sutter of the Hartford Whalers Carolina Hurricanes. Wow.

27
Oct
08

An “Oh Face” Doppelganger

In 1999 I saw a sneak preview of Office Space at the Copley Mall movie theater. There were about 10 people in the theater and my friend and I managed to sit in front of a GIGANTIC fat man who guffawed and hooted throughout the entire movie, making pithy comments like “totally!” and making it impossible to follow or enjoy the movie. I had to see it again a year later to figure out if I liked the movie or not. Of course, one of the most often imitated and repeated parts from that movie is the “oh face” moment. Joe Blanton last night showed off his pitching prowess, his power bat with his first career home run and of course, his dirty pine-tar stained hat. Both Joe Blanton and Greg Pitts (the guy who played the “oh face” guy) share quite the resemblance I (and commenter the roomate) believe. Don’t agree? Think I’m a genius? Make sure you vote in the poll below and as ever, go to see all the doppelgangers thus far assembled here.

blantonohface

27
Oct
08

There Just Might Be a God

According to anonymous reports in the Daily News there is a half-decent chance that this World Series might be the last work we see out of Joe Morgan on ESPN. Gloriously mustachioed Bob Raissman reports that his embedded sources tell him that Morgan and possibly also Jon Miller, will be removed from the Sunday Night Baseball broadcasts. Oh how I hope this is true. I simply cannot understand why a figure so polarizing, someone who I have NEVER seen a positive word about regarding his broadcast abilities has been allowed to continue being on national television. The game of baseball has passed by Joe Morgan. Sure, he used to be a phenomenal player, but as a broadcaster he totally blows. He never presents anything informative or interesting, he’s regularly wrong and he continually derides the modern statistics while sticking by stats that truly have no bearing on the actual ability of a player such as RBIs and wins. So here’s hoping that Raissman’s sources are correct, the sooner we can get Joe Morgan and his terrrifying cat eyes off of TV the better.




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