Archive for October 3rd, 2008

03
Oct
08

Who Chooses ERVIN?

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

Tonight’s starter for the Angels, Ervin Santana, a man who helped destroy my fantasy season last year came on this year remarkably well, pitching extremely efficiently and getting 214 strikeouts. Interestingly, according to his wikipedia page, Santana’s real name is actually Johan. He’s really Johan Santana! Before 2003 Santana went by Johan but when the real Johan became so successful, the Angel’s Johan decided to change his name so there wouldn’t be any confusion. According to Santana he decided it thusly, “I just came up with Ervin…Ervin Santana, that sounds good.” Sounds scientific! Born Johan Ramon Santana, appparently Ervin didn’t like the sound of Ramon Santana and arbitrarily opted for Ervin. Here’s my question, how is THAT the name that you choose for your 21 year old self? Was he a big Magic Johnson fan? If I could rename myself at age 21 it certainly would not have been with a name like Ervin, I think I might go by Snake Oil. Or maybe Lion-O. Both would be more bad-ass choices than Ervin. That simply baffles me.

So, readers, what names would you choose?

03
Oct
08

Cheer Up Cubs Fans

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Baseball and Hot Women
Tags: , ,

Sure the Cubs have looked miserable in the first two games of their series against the Dodgers, and yes, Dempster totally blew and the errors were awful yesterday, but there is yet hope. For one thing, why not STOP PITCHING TO MANNY RAMIREZ! For another, the team may be struggling but things can’t be all bad when you have fine fans such as these. I love Cubs girls. If you are a hot Cubs fan, email me. And for several more hot Cubs fans, including some of their recent celeb hotties, (like Marissa Miller) check out Fan IQ’s stuff here.

[Fan IQ]

03
Oct
08

Fukudome is Obscene in Chicago

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , , , , , ,

Jill Howe is a 15 year old Cubs fan who has a lifetime of anguish ahead of her. Fortunately, her teachers at Elgin High School in suburban Chicago are helping make that anguish come sooner rather than later by making her remove her Kosuke Fukudome jersey because it was deemed obscene. Howe was forced by the school’s dean to take off her shirt and put on a gym shirt instead. Immediately after being reprimanded Howe called her mother, another big Cubs fan and relayed the story. Her mother than called the dean, “I told her anyone’s last name can be misconstrued,” Nancy Howe said.

For example, take this statement from Nancy Howe relating to the purchase of the offending jersey, “[Jill’s] a big Cubs fan, and we got the jersey at Dick’s. We were going to get a [Kerry] Wood one, but it cost more.”

Sounds dirty!

To be fair, I think most Cubs fans would agree at this moment that Fukudome IS a dirty word, particularly after his futile efforts from I dunno, say June and forward. Continue reading ‘Fukudome is Obscene in Chicago’

03
Oct
08

English Soccer Coaches Are Hilarious

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Soccer

Last week we saw Celtic coach Gordon Strachan and his witty responses to silly reporters questions this week, Arsenal soccer coach Joe Kinnear, at his INTRODUCTORY press conference started off on a hilarious note. Bill Belichick take note, THIS is how you start off a press conference. If English soccer continues to be so entertaining I might have to actually start paying attention!

Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird [from The Daily Mirror]?

SB: Me.

JK: You’re a cunt.

SB: Thank you.

JK: Which one is Hickman (Niall, from The Daily Express)? You are out of order. Absolutely fucking out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can fuck off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that fucking crap. No fucking way, lies. Fuck, you’re saying I turned up and they fucked off.

SB: No Joe, have you read it, it doesn’t actually say that. Have you read it?

JK: I’ve fucking read it, I’ve read it.

SB: It doesn’t say that. Have you read it?

JK: You are trying to fucking undermine my position already.

SB: Have you read it, it doesn’t say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.

JK: Fuck off. Fuck off. It’s your last fucking chance.

SB: You read the copy? It doesn’t say that you didn’t know.

JK: What about the headline, you think that’s a good headline?

SB: I didn’t write the headline, you read the copy.

JK: You are negative bastards, the pair of you.

SB: So if I get a new job next week would I take the first day off? No I wouldn’t. If I get a new job should I call my boss and tell him I am taking the first day off?

JK: It is none of your fucking business. What the fuck are you going to do? You ain’t got the balls to be a fucking manager. Fucking day off. Do I want your opinion. Do I have to listen to you?
(After the jump the rest of the full transcript of the press conference.) Continue reading ‘English Soccer Coaches Are Hilarious’

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