Archive for October 6th, 2008

06
Oct
08

The Girls Don’t Like Ronaldo’s Short Shorts

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Soccer
Tags: , , ,

Cristiano Ronaldo has had his off-season foibles, first there was the reports about his newest girlfriend actually being a hooker, albeit a high-priced one, (the man has class after all) and now a Colombian soap actress is saying she rejected his advances because he came off as gay.

 Elisa Sanchez (left) said she met Ronaldo over the summer while he was vacationing in LA, but when he winked at her her heart did not swoon. “He was really red, like he had been laying out in the sun too long, and kept putting oil on himself all the time,’ she recalled to The Sun. “He was wearing these tiny little swimming pants. The way he was preening himself was hilarious. I had absolutely no idea who he was — and we were all convinced he was gay. He winked at me and tried to chat me up but I don’t speak English well. So I just said “Sorry” and walked away.”

What a burn for Ronaldo, that’s just really gotta eat at his ass. I simply can’t understand why everyone thinks he’s gay, I mean, I see a picture like this and it just screams “I love chicks.”

06
Oct
08

Michael Phelps Scores Once More

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Hot Women, Olympics and Random
Tags: , , ,

What, you thought now that the Olympics were long past that you would no longer be haunted by the awkward grin of Michael Phelps? Nope! He’s America’s darling, and he’s apparently moved on from my future g/f Stephanie Rice to his own new darling, Nicole Johnson a runner-up for Miss California. Whateves, I’m still totally cooler than him…

[Mojo in the Morning]

06
Oct
08

She Don’t Play Tight End

By slanch 4 Comments
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , , , ,

It’s not most days that I find a high school girl who is tougher than me. OK, that’s not exactly true, but this story out of Queens about Irene Gjoka, a 17 year old who will be suiting up for the Long Island City High School football team this season puts me in my place.

Having a over-protective father, Gjoka wasn’t allowed to play any sports when she was younger living in Canada. But after questioning her high school’s football coach what she needed to do to try out, she surprised him by actually coming out and going through all the practices. “Once or twice a year, a girl will come out and say she wants to play football, and pretty much that’s it,” Coach Stephen Agresti said. The cards were stacked against her though as state rules initially barred her from playing. After getting permission from a special panel, including 2 doctors, a gym teacher and the school’s athletic director she was cleared to practice and play. I LOVE that the gym teacher was an arbiter in this matter. What kind of important knowledge could that gym teacher share? “Irene totally dominated the badminton section last spring…she’ll be fine!”

The 5 foot, 105 pound Gjoka has shown off her agility and speed on the field, impressing her coach who intends to use her on special teams. “I don’t care about bruises or anything like that,” Gjoka said as she revealed a red and purple wound that extends from her forearm to her shoulder. “Pain’s not an issue.” Meanwhile I nearly passed out when I just got a paper cut. Sigh. Continue reading ‘She Don’t Play Tight End’

06
Oct
08

A-Rod Salutes the Plebes

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Douches
Tags: , , ,

Washington may be claiming that the economy is in crisis, but if you’re a baseball slugger with the two richest contracts in sports history times they ain’t so bad. Sure, your team got bounced from even getting to the playoffs for the first time in over a decade, but really it’s Jeter’s team anyways, so it isn’t A-Rod’s fault. Hence him out for a meal with a couple friends including, according to the NY Post a “sexy brunette.” Always aware of the media’s attention to him, he switched seats from sitting next to her to sitting across when he noticed photographers setting up. Fortunately though, A-Rod, a man who can quite easily set up his own version of Scrooge McDuck’s money bin, still provided some moments of interest for the photographers and in particular for all those people who are in danger of losing their homes and life savings. That’s because A-Rod has so much money he can use $100 bills as napkins. Now THAT’S living the dream!

news003b

[NY Post]

06
Oct
08

Gee That Doesn’t Look Like Javelining

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Hot Women and Olympics
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

After the Olympics ended Paraguyan javelinist/super-hottie Leryn Franco headed to NYC to watch her then paramour Novak Djokovic play in the US Open. Now, well over a month after the end of the games it is time for her to get back to the important things, her true calling, modelling.

That’s right, Leryn is back to her old tricks as a runway model and is wearing the kind of fashions that men love. In particular, see-through shirts and a shirt that has one boob hanging out. Yes! I could continue typing but you don’t care at this point, I said boobs and all you want to see is her naked tata. So, the tamer versions above the jump and below the jump the very NSFW versions. Be well. For several more images go to the fine On 205th which has s’more.

leryn_franco_boobs_4

[On 205th] Continue reading ‘Gee That Doesn’t Look Like Javelining’

Follow The Slanch Report

 Subscribe to RSS Feed

twitter / slanchreport

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

October 2008
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Categories