It’s been a little while since I did another captioning opportunity, and since the responses are usually outpouring, from 4 of you, I figured it was time for another one. Now, this is an opportunity for everyone out there to submit a possible caption. Especially if you’ve ever worked as a copywriter or written comedy or have working synapses in your brain. Without further ado. Go nuts!
After the Tampa Bay Buccaneers “honored” Mike Alstott by retiring his jersey and reminding him that he has been a part of a dysfunctional, idiotic franchise because they weren’t able to figure out how to put a properly spelled uniform on him, you’d think that would be the end of the story. But, it turns out that Tampa fans are just as douchey as the organization. For attending the game, fans were given a special Mike Alstott bobblehead. Fans were so touched and impacted by this that DURING THE GAME they were putting the bobbleheads up for sale on eBay. Now that’s celebrating a true Tampa “legend.”
Due to an outpouring of negative responses from media and the general populace at Nike’s doucherie, they have changed their minds regarding Arien O’Connell and have declared her to be “a” winner in the Nike Women’s Marathon. Since they already awarded winner’s awards to another, despite that woman finishing 11 minutes behind O’Connell, she is only declared a winner as opposed to THE winner, which of course, she is. O’Connell will receive the same prize money and trophy as the “elite” runner did and to make sure that this embarrassment never happens to Nike again, they’ve opted to eliminate the elite runner category and everyone will start at the same time next year. At least the right thing was eventually done, it’s just a shame that Nike had essentially to be shamed into doing it.
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
The Slanch Report 
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