The Slanch Report

In another example why Europe is much more fun than America is this story from Sweden. Jan Huokko formerly played for the hockey team AIK but now plays for Leksand hockey club in Sweden’s second-tier professional hockey league. To welcome him back, members of an unofficial fan group urged fans to celebrate Huokko by bringing dildos to the game to throw on the ice. Huokko it seems made headlines when he lost his cellphone and when it was found a sex tape of the stocky defenseman and his ladyfriend was on it and released to the interwebs.

“It was a private thing between me and my girl,” Huokko said at the time. “That’s what people do when it comes to sex.”

Before the game even started fans had thrown multiple dildos onto the ice, causing a delay as the ice crew cleaned them up. Fans also brought a giant sign saying “Bend Over Bitch” which I assume was something Huokko said during the tape.

Leksand ended up losing the game 3-2 and the vulgar chants against Huokko continued throughout. In a prime example of allowing the inmates to run the asylum AIK officials were aware of the planned dildo showers but decided not to act. “We’d also heard mention of it, but we decided that it would only be worse if we went out and told the fans they were absolutely not allowed to throw dildos on the ice,” said AIK club head Mats Hedenström.

This would NEVER be allowed to happen at a US hockey game, and if it did they’d probably have to call in trauma specialists to help the parents of the children at the game who had been so traumatized. For Huokko, it was just another day at the office, “it was just a regular hockey game. It was no problem,” he said following the match. “I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”