Archive for June 11th, 2008

11
Jun
08

The Doppelgangers continue!

Reader Myummers submitted this doppelganger to me and it’s pretty damn good. I had no idea who Jesse Metcalfe was, but then, I don’t watch Desperate Housewives. Which makes me wonder why Myummers knows who is he is; that seems like the type of thing that a man who would go to see Sex and the City in the theaters would do, but that couldn’t be the type of man Myummers is, right?

Anyhoo, Arizona Diamondbacks first baseman Conor Jackson and Desperate Housewives‘ Jesse Metcalfe, I buy it!

jacksonmetcalfe

Check out lots of my other doppelgangers here and please send me any others you see by emailing me here.

11
Jun
08

TJ Simers is Where the LA Times Keeps the Douches

T.J. Simers is a columnist for the Los Angeles Times sports section who gets paid to bloviate, and so I can understand why he’d get angry when other people do it for free and are better at it than he is. That said, his column today is in reference to Curt Schilling who wrote a post on his blog, 38Pitches, about his experience sitting courtside next to the Lakers bench at game 2. TJ though didn’t take too kindly to Schilling’s admittedly uninformed statements. Schilling’s main point was that he was completely astounded by the fact that Kobe was a petulant whiny little girl throughout the game, glaring angrily at his teammates and generally being the uber-douche that everyone claims him to be. Curt was surprised by how poor a teammate Kobe was being, particularly in contrast to the other members of the team.

I have no idea how the guys in the NBA play or do things like this, but I thought it was a fascinating bit of insight for me to watch someone in another sport who is in the position of a team leader and how he interacted with his team and teammates. Watching the other 11 guys, every time out it was high fives and “Hey nice work, let’s get after it” or something to that affect. He walked off the floor, obligatory skin contact on the high five, and sat on the bench stone faced or pissed off, the whole game.

That’s not exactly the work of a team leader is it? But TJ Simers doesn’t think that is a fair assessment at all, starting out his article with the words of a man who wants to cross the divide:

Curt Schilling is gutless.

He sits courtside in Boston for Game 2, eavesdropping on the Lakers’ bench — and how would he like someone listening to what they have to say in the Red Sox dugout, and then makes it appear on his blog, “38 Pitches,” that Kobe Bryant is some kind of jerk who berates his teammates.

Well, I have two things to say, regarding both of those statements.

  1. Does this look like a man who is “gutless?”
  2. Yeah, Kobe would never be a complete asshole to his teammates, that’s ridiculous!

So, that’s a good start to an article. I mean, both of your points are wrong, and you’ve resorted to cheap insults to boot. WOW! What expansive and beautiful writing! I’m sure the Los Angeles Times is overjoyed to have a man who can write such uplifting and carefully crafted phrases on the payroll. H.L Mencken would be glad to see that a strong newspaper tradition continues, especially in Los Angeles where television and film can so easily otherwise overshadow. Continue reading ‘TJ Simers is Where the LA Times Keeps the Douches’

11
Jun
08

The Bears LOVED Cedric Benson

Now former Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson has taken it upon himself to complete one of the most difficult DUI trifectas. A few weeks ago he was arrested for drunken and disorderly conduct, while driving a boat! (I always thought that was the only way in which one SHOULD drive a boat, but I digress.) Then he recently picked up the much easier and standard DUI for operating a car. Now, Benson just needs to get up in the air for a DUI for flying a plane and he will have completed arguably the hardest cycle to accomplish in sports.

That’s not the end of Benson’s story though. Even though he was released by the Bears a few days ago, he is likely to get picked up by some other team because he does have some game. But that’s not the interesting news about Benson today.cedric-benson-mug-shot-bigger

Jay Glazer a Fox Sports reporter was on Dan Patrick’s radio show and made a very interesting statment, you can listen to it here, saying “There was one guy on that team who those teammates never liked…Hell, one year they tried to hurt him to make sure Thomas Jones could be the starter…Guys would go right at him because there was a competition between him and Thomas…and the thought was to get the first round pick into the starting lineup and Thomas’ teammates didn’t want to see that happen.”

Wow. When your teammates are actively trying to hurt you and knock you out of the lineup it probably means you’re not the most popular fella on the team. This likely doesn’t portend well for the future of Benson. If the franchise that drafts you, gives you a multitude of chances, including dealing away Thomas Jones to give you the starting job but now completely gives up on you, and stories come out that your teammates hated you and went out on the field trying to hurt you, it probably means that finding the next place of work might be a little more difficult. I hear the Arena League is always looking for more players though…

11
Jun
08

The NBA Finals: Where Craigslist Blowjobs Happen

It’s championship time for the NBA and of course, that leads to some fun craigslist postings. For example, a Medford, MA man posted an ad asking for tickets to an upcoming Celtics game, in exchange for his “hot” wife. Kyle Carter, the classy man in question said in a local interview that this is merely for a dinner date–no promises of hot wife-y action. Carter apparently has a very relaxed wife. “At first she said, ‘Oh, no, there’d be too many crazy people calling us. But she said she’d be open to it. And some of the guys who responded seem pretty normal.” Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar with Medford, the first thing to know is the way to pronounce it. Anyone from there would never pronounce the actual word as it is spelled, instead it comes out more as “MehFuhd.” Also, the stereotypical Bostonian with the accent, every group of friends with a Murph or a Sully, etc. is from the “lovely” town of Medford.

For Carter, this is less about pimping his wife out to strangers as it is about as the opportunity to support the Celtics. “I was a fan ever since I was a kid and I’m in my 30s now. I remember watching them play the Lakers in the ’80s. Now with them in the finals, you get caught up in the excitement and you want to go to the game, but you can’t get a ticket. You can only afford a couple of games anyway if you’re an average guy and that’s quite unfair.” I totally agree, ticket prices have served to price the average fan out of most major events these days. However, at the same time, I don’t know that pimping one’s “hot” wife is the proper way to get around those prices, especially because every girl I know from Mehfuhd attended classes at Busted University and all of them graduated Sigma Cum Laude.

Mr. Romantic and his wife are hopeful that a normal, nice man will step up and give him tickets. After having waited in 12 hour lines and attempting to win tickets in other ways, this might be Carter’s last chance. “I’m just a hardworking guy who wants to get out there and support his team.”

Celtics fans are not alone in playing around on Craigslist regarding the basketball games though. LA fans are apparently hungry and eager for blowjobs regarding the game.

Continue reading ‘The NBA Finals: Where Craigslist Blowjobs Happen’




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