Archive for June 9th, 2008


More Doppelganger fun!

My last doppelgangers post was well-received, and fun to do, and so, with some reader suggestions from Theroomate and Myummers and some of my own, here are several more doppelgangers for you to enjoy. I’ve decided also that since I enjoy these I’m going to set up a permanent page at the top of the screen with all of the doppelgangers we come up with. So any suggestions or whatever send me a note and I’ll get ’em up right away. Anyhoo, enjoy!

Mike Lowell looks like he should be wearing a tuxedo at all times because he’s totally debonair, George Clooney gets to wear those tuxes and with their salt and pepper beards and hair it’s just possible that they are brothers…

Nothing strikes more fear in the hearts of the residents of Elm Street more than Freddy Krueger, Red Sox fans for the last few years have known that exact same feeling of abject terror every time the bullpen door swung open for Julian Tavarez. Fortunately, now he has been banished to the wasteland known as Brewer’s baseball and Freddy went into space to fight Jason and hasn’t been heard from since…

Nothing beats the smooth taste and flavor of Camel cigarettes, at least according to the many advertisements from the cigarette company. Andy Pettite smoothly deflected the fact that he is a a cheating, needle-using pitcher and has been accepted widely back into the fold of the Yankees without much comment.

David Ortiz makes all of Red Sox nation happy with his clutch heroics and huge smile. Shrek was an ogre with a big heart and delights children of all ages. Dreamworks definitely used Ortiz as the model.

True story: these three men have never been in the same place at the same time. We should all be thankful that Geoff Jenkins of the Phillies, Green Bay “retiree” Brett Favre and actor Max Martini of The Unit (not watching it? You really should) have all chosen to divide the country in thirds, Jenkins gets the east coast, Farve the middle and Martini the west, otherwise who knows what could happen.

Sure, Andrew Shue is less known for his “acting” abilities or his brief career as a professional soccer player and more known for his delectable sister, Elizabeth Shue, but he can always take solace in being mistaken on the street for either Yankees pitcher Mike Mussina or Cardinals third baseman Troy Glaus. They’ve both been All-Stars! (Although don’t expect to see them on any future All-Star teams)

Rajon Rondo is a crafty hoopster, he loves to slice through the defense, drive towards the basket and then dish the ball back out to someone who can actually shoot the ball. Ants love to make holes and go through them in order to eat that entire box of oreos that I was saving but then forgot about and now are ruined. Antz was a movie.

Lance Berkman began 2008 on a torrid pace, spraying hits and homers all over the field. Tony Stewart is one of the top drivers in Nascar and when he wins he gets to spray–bukkake style–beer or champagne or milk all over his pit crew. Seems fair to me.

Being stuck on an island with Gilligan couldn’t have been easy. The more important question is if Gilligan was so useless and frustrating to the Skipper, why was he the only crewman he had? Charlie Manuel manages the Phillies, has one of the best giant guts in baseball and a fiery personality.


Who is Excited for the Olympics!

The Summer Olympics are due to start in Beijing in only a few weeks, and the Chinese government has been very busy constructing new facilities, cleaning up the city, jailing dissidents, etc, in preparation. The eyes of the world will be on Beijing this summer and the Chinese want to make sure that the games go off without a hitch. I only hope people can see them.

This is the view of James Fallows, a writer for The Atlantic, from his apartment in downtown Beijing. Get excited world!


How Much Did Beer Cost at Gladiator Games?

nutsOne of the great things about minor league baseball is the never-ending stream of great promotions. For the Modesto Nuts, a class A affiliate of the Rockies, they’ve made beers during the 5th inning of every game cost only $1. In terms of wacky promotions, this isn’t anywhere near the top but for the fans in attendance it was one of the better recent promotions.

You see, the fearsome Modesto Nuts were down 9-1 and looking for some fire, so their pitcher, Aneury Rodriguez, buried a 91 mph fastball into the ribs of one of the opposing Stockton Ports (even MORE fearsome!) who strangely took exception to that. Then on a potential double-play ball,


the hit batsman slid spikes up into second, had the second baseman fall on top of him and get all tangled up. One thing leads to another and then the two are throwing punches at one another. Of course, the dugouts empty after that point and the brawl is on. One of the Ports’ relievers had to be taken to the hospital where he had his two facial fractures looked at that should probably keep him out the rest of the season. All told, 8 players were ejected and it took nearly 50 minutes for order to be restored and the inning to finally end.

Fortunately for the crowd, this all took place during the 5th inning, meaning that for nearly an hour, as the two teams showed off their pugilistic abilities, the crowd was able to get totally hammered for cheap. Maybe that’s the reason this is our national pastime! If there is a better way to spend an afternoon, watching baseball, seeing a brawl, and getting drunk for under $10 than I’d like to find out about it.

h/t to Inside the Shell your one-stop for all Modesto Nuts stories

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The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

June 2008