The Slanch Report

It’s championship time for the NBA and of course, that leads to some fun craigslist postings. For example, a Medford, MA man posted an ad asking for tickets to an upcoming Celtics game, in exchange for his “hot” wife. Kyle Carter, the classy man in question said in a local interview that this is merely for a dinner date–no promises of hot wife-y action. Carter apparently has a very relaxed wife. “At first she said, ‘Oh, no, there’d be too many crazy people calling us. But she said she’d be open to it. And some of the guys who responded seem pretty normal.” Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar with Medford, the first thing to know is the way to pronounce it. Anyone from there would never pronounce the actual word as it is spelled, instead it comes out more as “MehFuhd.” Also, the stereotypical Bostonian with the accent, every group of friends with a Murph or a Sully, etc. is from the “lovely” town of Medford.

For Carter, this is less about pimping his wife out to strangers as it is about as the opportunity to support the Celtics. “I was a fan ever since I was a kid and I’m in my 30s now. I remember watching them play the Lakers in the ’80s. Now with them in the finals, you get caught up in the excitement and you want to go to the game, but you can’t get a ticket. You can only afford a couple of games anyway if you’re an average guy and that’s quite unfair.” I totally agree, ticket prices have served to price the average fan out of most major events these days. However, at the same time, I don’t know that pimping one’s “hot” wife is the proper way to get around those prices, especially because every girl I know from Mehfuhd attended classes at Busted University and all of them graduated Sigma Cum Laude.

Mr. Romantic and his wife are hopeful that a normal, nice man will step up and give him tickets. After having waited in 12 hour lines and attempting to win tickets in other ways, this might be Carter’s last chance. “I’m just a hardworking guy who wants to get out there and support his team.”

Celtics fans are not alone in playing around on Craigslist regarding the basketball games though. LA fans are apparently hungry and eager for blowjobs regarding the game.

For example, there is this fine gentleman who wants some VERY lucky lady an evening of her giving him head after they have “some some wine,smoke 420 and i eat your pussy..” Or this “31 yo legit closted guy” who, like most straight men, “watched the lakers/celtics game and drank with buddies….got horney warching the game with my buds so in the mood to give some amazing no reciprication head….i go to your place blow u then bail…..” Seems like a fun evening for the BJee! Then there was this “gentleman” who was a M4T (link NSFW) (or for those of you not as familiar with the craigslist casual encounters lingo as myself, (sigh) Man for Transexual) who wants you to “Come be my little cheerleader for the Lakers game!” He goes on and entices the transexuals out there that “I love to rim, too, so imagine how we’ll spend half time!” I’m guessing it’s not going to be making nachos and shotgunning beers like the rest of America…My favorite though, is the man who says he “made a bet with my buddie that i wouldn’t have sex untill the lakers won a game…well, they finally won one! i’m hung…” He goes on to say that he hasn’t climaxed in two weeks, which means that someone needs to service him soon or who knows what might happen (cough cough, Kobe in Denver…cough cough). But this desire to get blown doesn’t have to be for just after the game though. According to the ad, he’s “lookin 4 a stud who will becum my on-call cock whore bitch behind closed doors…want 2 try out 4 my team? send pixs, stats, location in 1st e-mail. if u make the final cut, will send u pix of what u’ll b workin on…cum n get it!” Almost brings tears to my eyes. God bless America.

There have been few innovations in our society as useful as Craigslist in recent years. Think of all the BJs that would never have happened during sports games if CL didn’t exist! I for one, don’t want to. That’s a world I wouldn’t want to be in. What an age in which we live, what an age!