Archive for July, 2009



29
Jul
09

The Worst Possible News

27131_Scully-Vincent-EdwardFrom the LA Times comes the worst news of the entire MLB season: after the 2010 season Vin Scully expects to retire.

“God willing, I will probably come back for one more year,” Scully said in a phone interview. “At this moment, my health is excellent, and I’m leaning toward one more year.”

And then retire?

“Yes, that makes sense,” he said.

Next year would be the 81 year old Vin’s 61st in baseball, all spent broadcasting games for the Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers.

I would happily have Vin Scully be the voice of ALL baseball games so that even if you’re watching the Reds/Pirates you get Vin. Hell, he can still do the Dodgers game, I just love to hear him call a game. One of the best things about having the MLB package is getting to listen to Vin. I always get INFURIATED when the player automatically goes to the non-Vin broadcast, why listen to someone else, no matter how good, if they aren’t Vin Scully? We have 15 months left to enjoy Vin on the air, I suggest you get busy.

Also, in a very morbid way, I am kind of interested in the idea of Vin dying on the air and describing seeing the light; which would probably be the most incredible bit of television ever. Tell me you wouldn’t be interested in hearing that.

[LA Times]

28
Jul
09

Cuz This is THRILLER

When you show up to a minor league game and get stuck in a rain delay, there isn’t much entertainment left for you. Unless you were at the Long Palm Beach Cardinals game the other day where Casey Mulligan, an infielder relief pitcher took to the field and did a damn fine Thriller dance. Replete with single batting glove, Mulligan goes all out, it’s just a shame that whoever is videotaping it is with a talkative annoying little kid. I wanna see the moves son! Just because you were born 20 years after the song came out doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us.

The Cardinals would be smart to immediately reward Mulligan and bump him up a level.

[With Leather]

28
Jul
09

Nice Moves Mr. Man

Uri Man is a Vice-President for development for the parent company of the NHL’s Florida Panthers, he also appeared on Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker to apparently no avail. That’s because he appeared on Fox News over the weekend and took the opportunity to try and throw some game at his interviewer, Ainsley Earhardt.

Starting off slow, Man, who wrote a book entitled “Getting Good Jobs in Tough Times,” first compares the market to an ex-girlfriend one tries to win back. Earhardt enjoys the example and then Man, later in the interview throws out that he knows where she went to college. A little creepy, but hey, he came prepared, I respect that. Man also took the time to comment that he must have missed the memo since Earhardt and her co-host were both wearing yellow. When she told him that his pink tie matched nicely with yellow he wonders aloud about how the two of them would look together. Class act.

The interview ends in the best way a guy could dream of, her laughing at him and asking her co-host if Man was “hitting on me on live TV? Did that just happen?”

Smooth Man, smooth.

[Sports by Brooks]

28
Jul
09

HYDRO-THUUUUUNNNNDDDDEEEEER

You were probably so busy over the weekend that you didn’t get a chance to watch as closely as normally would the Lamb Weston Columbia Cup boat races. I know that feeling. Well here is all the recap you need to see, J. Michael Kelly flipping his boat during the first preliminary heat

28
Jul
09

Now THIS is My Idea of Good Governing

380_Image_Edgbaston_PavilionIn Birmingham, England, a city councilor is under fire for writing a blog entry advising fans on how best to smuggle alcohol into the Edgbaston cricket arena.

Sandwell Council’s Bob Piper wrote a blog revealing his “foolproof method of smuggling a decent drink” into the grounds. Entitled “Defying the Edgbaston drinks ban”, the blog at bobpiper.co.uk claims alcohol can be taken past security guards using a bizarre method involving a plastic box and tomatoes.

The Labour councillor writes: “If you like a bit of a tipple during the match, Edgbaston can be a bit of a nightmare on test match day, because they search everyone’s bags on the way in and confiscate any alcohol at the gate or refuse you entry.

“It’s not as if alcohol is banned or anything, it is just that Warwickshire County Cricket Club want you to splash out on buying their alcohol, which is OK if you want a bottle of Moet for about 50 notes, or pints of frozen Carling fizzy lager.”

He then advises readers to remove the cardboard case from a three-litre box of wine, before hiding the silver foil container inside in a plastic lunchbox covered with tomato.

He continues: “There you have it, friends. Tuck it in to your rucksack with a packet of crisps and a couple of glasses… and you should have plenty to sustain until at least the lunchtime session. And after that we crack open Chrissie’s tea flask and enjoy a drop of fine Guinness. Works every time for me.”

The Warwickshire County Cricket Club was obviously less then pleased, saying, “Whilst it is disappointing to hear reports of these comments, the ground regulations are quite clear for this match and have been in place for some time and will be applied as normal.” I fucking LOVE England, do you think you’d ever see a press release from an American sports institution that led off with “Whilst”?

Ever the opportunists, a spokesperson for charity Drinkaware said: “What’s the point in buying Ashes tickets if you don’t fully appreciate it because you’re drinking? And what if that crucial wicket that changes the destiny of the series falls while you’re at the bar or in the toilet?”

I can’t begin to count how many crucial wickets I’ve missed because I was at the bar. Thousands probably. What a fool I’ve been.

[24 Dash]

28
Jul
09

The Kings Dancers Take the Floor

The Sacramento Kings finalized their 2009 dance team the other day, whittling down the numbers from over 100 hopefuls to the chosen 15. It looks like they made some fine choices, I for one prefer Carly and the delightful cute redheaded Laura. You know, for their dancing abilities. And their brains! I’m a brain man.

28
Jul
09

Zebras Take Linebacker Out

windscheffelConfusingly-named Pittsburg State University in Kansas is down a player for next season after sophomore Joe Windscheffel suffered a compound fracture in his forearm that required six pins and a plate. Windscheffel was painting a fence at a farm the other day when he was attacked by some of the livestock and dragged by the arm for some distance until two fellow farm hands were able to free him.

Of course, these weren’t the normal livestock we’re used to hearing about in “Old McDonald,” Windscheffel was working at a zebra farm. Just like a player, Windscheffel claims that the zebra’s attack on him was unprovoked. When he entered the pasture, the 6’2″ 225 lb linebacker/safety had to move the three female and one male zebras out of the way in order get at the fence. Apparently the male took umbrage and launched a teeth baredattack.

Windscheffell is now out for the entire season, which is especially unfortunate considering he red-shirted his entire freshman year due to an Achilles injury, meaning the Pittsburg State Gorillas.

[KCTV]

27
Jul
09

He’s a Long-Range Assassin

You simply have to love a good long-range soccer shot. Now, my only question is the goalie actually hurt or just laying on the ground in embarrassment at having let in a goal from the half-line?

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[With Leather]


27
Jul
09

Mind if I Play Through

07-27-09_golfFor the troops there probably aren’t many opportunities for fun while being stationed in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Thanks to some Canadians though, that has changed somewhat. Bill Pigden, a retired major who now works as the civilian manager at the Canadian Forces’ Personnel Support Agency at the Kandahar Air Force Base decided to honor the 100th anniversary of the Canadian Open, which was also held this weekend.

In order to do so, he trucked in 4 loads of sand, nearly 2000 feet of Astroturf carpeting and worked with a full team of helpers in order to create a miniaturized exact replica of the Glen Abbey Golf Club in Oakville, Ontario where the actual Canadian Open was being held. “We’ve reconstructed it down to the correct scale . . . with the exception of water and trees. Not a lot of those,” said Pigden.

Unlike their countrymen who were slogging through soggy courses, that wasn’t a problem in Afghanistan. “We just have 50-degree heat to deal with,” Pigden said. It took three days for Pigden and crew to lay out the course, but it was well worth it. They held a tournament, with an entry price of $20 and ended raising $1,500 for Soldier On, a charity that helps wounded soldiers get involved in paralympic sports.

“I think it’s just a wonderful replica, a great idea,” said Lt.-Col. Kevin Bryski, chief of staff with the Afghan Regional Security Integration Command South, and an avid golfer. “Working here in Afghanistan is quite a long toil. We have a lot of work to do here . . .Having opportunities like this to vent a little bit and get out and have some fun on the golf course with your comrades . . . it’s just a wonderful opportunity.”

Of course, Pigden won his own tournament, taking home a trophy and a baseball hat, besting the other 35 competitors. The tournament organizers also challenged fellow Canadian golfers, like Mike Weir, to match their charitable contribution.

[Chronicle Herald]

24
Jul
09

This Day in History

ap_varitek_arod_080727_ssv5 years ago today the fortunes of the Boston Red Sox changed forever. As a birthday present from my lovely sisters, we went to the last game of a series between the Red Sox and Yankees. Every game was heated, full of passion and dislike for the opposing side.

When we got to the stadium it wasn’t 100% that the game was going to be played. Rain had come through during the night and stuck around, but fortunately by mid-afternoon it had disappeared.

With Bronson Arroyo on the mound facing off against Tanyon Sturtze all of us in attendance knew we were in for a pitching duel…

Under the overhang, about 35 rows from the Pesky Pole, my sisters and I got into the game. With 2 outs in the top of the 3rd inning, up 3-0, Alex Rodriguez strode to the plate. With adrenaline pumping, Arroyo ended up flinging a pitch in that struck A-Rod on the shoulder. Alex took exception to that, despite him struggling at the plate; he believed that the pitch was purposeful. It wasn’t. After jawing at Bronson for a moment, catcher Jason Varitek stood up and got in Alex’s face. A-Rod challenged Varitek, the two of them threw some F-bombs in each other’s face and then BOOM, ‘Tek’s mitt and fist met in the middle of A-Rod’s face and the brawl was on.

I stood up on my chair quite literally screaming for blood. “I WANT TO SEE A-ROD BLLLEEEEEEEEEEEED,” hurled forth from me. “A-Rod is a Tool” was my next chant and I got my whole section in on it. The brawl was excellent, the Red Sox took command of the situation but they still remained behind in runs.

The game got crazy from there, entering the 9th with the Yankees still up, although the lead was whittled down to 9-8. Mariano Rivera, Mr Automatic came in to boos and disgust from the Fenway Faithful. Our exuberance from the fight still was there but the back-and-forth of the game had left many drained. Did the Sox have a little more moxie in them?

Entering the game, Rivera was in the midst of one of the greatest seasons by a closer, his ERA was a miniscule 0.89, in 50 innings all season he had given up 1 HR. In his entire career Rivera had given up 1 walk-off home run. With Dave McCarty on first, still down a run, and with 1 out, up came Bill Mueller. Before he got to the plate I turned to my sisters and said, “Watch this, he’s going to hit a home run.” Mostly all wishful thinking, I wanted the Sox win and I had Mueller on my Fantasy team and could really have used the HR. Down in the count 3-1, Rivera let loose with another of his famous cutters.

The pitch comes in, CRACK! The ball flies in the air; stuck under the pavilion I couldn’t see the flight of the ball, so I RAN down the aisle tracking it in the air. I reached the edge of the roof just in time to see the ball sail into the Red Sox bullpen. YES! WE WIN! I start screaming. I high-5 the rando standing in his seat next to me, he’s going crazy. I’m going crazy! I run up the aisle high-5’ing everyone. The stadium is ROCKING, the entire building is alive. We came back. It was the single best game of baseball I’ve ever been to.

Of course, that single game changed everything. The mystique was gone, Rivera was mortal. When the ALCS rolled around and it came down to the bottom of the 9th in game 4, once more it was Bill Mueller up against Rivera. The memory of July 24th rang out in my brain. “We’re going to do it!” I knew we would come back. We had to. It was meant to be.

All thanks to July 24th, 2004, the date of the best baseball game I’ve ever been to and I was there.

[WEEI]

23
Jul
09

Mattingly Spits, Not Swallows (His Pride)

20090722-232212-pic-900632050_t607I don’t know how or why it is, but ball-players sure do seem to spit more than the average person. Maybe it’s the wide expanse of green that makes them salivate more but regardless, spitting is an integral part of the game.

Growing up in the Yankees clubhouse, Taylor (son of Don) Mattingly must have seen thousands upon thousands of spittle projectiles launched. Now 24, the former 42nd round pick of the Yankees in 2003 was arrested Tuesday night for battery and criminal mischief after allegedly pushing his mother and then spitting in her face. 

I love family reunions!

The reason he was so upset? Taylor’s mom reportedly sent him a text message insulting his girlfriend and father. Taylor was also upset that his mother had canceled the cable at the family’s ranch where he was staying. Which of course, led to him flipping over tables and breaking windows. Standard fare really.

I for one am not surprised, I mean, I look at this mug-shot and all I can see is giant douchebag. In fact, I’m submitting this photo to wikipedia for the douchebag definition page.

[Courier Press]

23
Jul
09

Free Tickets in Exchange for Buttplay

Gorshinriddler_JPGAs a means to promote awareness and get more men screened for prostate cancer, the Tampa Bay Rays will hold free screenings Thursday at Tropicana Field before the game.

For participating in the test, men will receive 2 free tickets to a game during the team’s August 18-23 home-stand. Last year more than 400 men came and were checked out as part of the same event.

Starting at 7 am, the screenings will take place in the center field concourse, which is exactly where I would want a stranger’s finger to be inserted into my anus.

As important as prostate screens are, there HAS to be an easier/better way to get free tickets to a game…

[Tampa Bay Online]




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July 2009
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