28
Jul
09

Now THIS is My Idea of Good Governing


380_Image_Edgbaston_PavilionIn Birmingham, England, a city councilor is under fire for writing a blog entry advising fans on how best to smuggle alcohol into the Edgbaston cricket arena.

Sandwell Council’s Bob Piper wrote a blog revealing his “foolproof method of smuggling a decent drink” into the grounds. Entitled “Defying the Edgbaston drinks ban”, the blog at bobpiper.co.uk claims alcohol can be taken past security guards using a bizarre method involving a plastic box and tomatoes.

The Labour councillor writes: “If you like a bit of a tipple during the match, Edgbaston can be a bit of a nightmare on test match day, because they search everyone’s bags on the way in and confiscate any alcohol at the gate or refuse you entry.

“It’s not as if alcohol is banned or anything, it is just that Warwickshire County Cricket Club want you to splash out on buying their alcohol, which is OK if you want a bottle of Moet for about 50 notes, or pints of frozen Carling fizzy lager.”

He then advises readers to remove the cardboard case from a three-litre box of wine, before hiding the silver foil container inside in a plastic lunchbox covered with tomato.

He continues: “There you have it, friends. Tuck it in to your rucksack with a packet of crisps and a couple of glasses… and you should have plenty to sustain until at least the lunchtime session. And after that we crack open Chrissie’s tea flask and enjoy a drop of fine Guinness. Works every time for me.”

The Warwickshire County Cricket Club was obviously less then pleased, saying, “Whilst it is disappointing to hear reports of these comments, the ground regulations are quite clear for this match and have been in place for some time and will be applied as normal.” I fucking LOVE England, do you think you’d ever see a press release from an American sports institution that led off with “Whilst”?

Ever the opportunists, a spokesperson for charity Drinkaware said: “What’s the point in buying Ashes tickets if you don’t fully appreciate it because you’re drinking? And what if that crucial wicket that changes the destiny of the series falls while you’re at the bar or in the toilet?”

I can’t begin to count how many crucial wickets I’ve missed because I was at the bar. Thousands probably. What a fool I’ve been.

[24 Dash]


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