Archive for July 9th, 2009


I Think Jeter Wins This One

I was looking through some of my blog stuff today and noticed that for some reason, this post I wrote a few days ago never posted, so, here it be. Apologies for the lateness.

I simply can’t say it any better than the folks over at Barstool Sports did with this one, so, enjoy!

“Jeter vs. A-Rod Summed Up in Two Photos”

jeter arod
[Barstool Sports]


There Goes Her Social Life

erin_andrews_sexy_4At last night’s Mets/Dodgers game Erin Andrews and the rest of the Wednesday night baseball ESPN crew were in attendance. Unfortunately for her, she got a ball in the face from Alex Cora when he hit a line drive foul in the 4th inning.

Now, less classy people would make plenty of balls on her chin jokes, but I’m way above that. I don’t need to stoop to that level. Indeed a lesser man might make plenty of oral sex jokes, or even deep-throating comments, but again, that’s not me. I’m all class.

Anyways, she was taken to the hospital a few innings later and her only injury was a bruised chin.



Lightning Crashes

tropToday’s game between the Tampa Bay Rays and Toronto Blue Jays was delayed for about 20 minutes when lightning struck the top of the Tropicana knocking out power to a bank of lights.

This is the second time it’s happened this season. They can’t get a new stadium fast enough, and the Trop is only 19 years old.



What Can YOUR Vagina Do?

TatiataKozhevnikovaonallfoursIn sports when athletes reaches their 40s it usually is precipitated by a drastic drop-off in skill level. That doesn’t appear to be the case with 41 year-old Russian citizen, Tatiata Kozhevnikova who, after training for 15 years, has entered the Guiness Book of World Records as the greatest Vagina Lifting champion ever after holding a 31 pound weight solely with her lady parts.

This wasn’t something Kozhevnikova always could do, she explains that “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls, I looked around, saw a Murano glass ball and inserted it in my vagina.” Makes sense to me.

I love the idea that she was sitting in her house and is just looking around for random objects to shove inside herself to tighten up.

The whole process of training is pretty easy she claims, “You insert one of the balls in your vagina, and it has a string attached to it with a little hook at the very end. You fix a second ball onto this hook.” Bing-Bang-Boom, Vagina Lifting champion.

[In Game Now]


Canseco Soon to Be Beaten By Wing Champion

203Because he always needs money and desperately needs attention, Jose Canseco has agreed to enter the boxing ring once more, this time against competitive eating champion Bill “El Wingador” Simmons (left). Canseco in three previous fighting matches has been knocked out by a former Philadelphia Eagle, fought to a draw against DANNY BONADUCE, and was pummeled by 7’2″ Korean kickboxer Hong Man Choi, so I’m sure Simmons is VERY intimidated by Canseco’s prowess.

The fight will be on July 24th although the venue is yet to be announced; I’m sure ticket prices will be low and there will be plenty of empty seats.

Simmons — who has won the illustrious Philadelphia Wing Bowl a record 5 times — came out of retirement in 2008 to compete once more, finishing in third with a personal record 205 wings eaten in 2 minutes. I imagine his farts alone can knock out Jose.

[Celebrity Boxing]


The Marlins are ROBBING Miami

1379723371_60a1aa76faAfter years of wrangling the tax-payers, the Florida Marlins are now set to break ground on their new stadium in Little Havana, the project originally estimated to be around $1.8-2 billion has now seen cost estimates soar to approximately $2.4 billion. That seems like a lot.

Fortunately, the Marlins, awash in cash from their packed house every night are paying for the entire stadium out of their pocket.

Wait, I’m being informed that isn’t accurate. Oh, you’re telling me the Marlins are contributing $120 million towards construction and another $35 million to repay a loan from the county and that’s it? Seems to me that is a robust 6% of the ENTIRE construction costs. Wow, nicely done Marlins. I’m not quite clear how the team was able to swindle the city into giving them this deal, but it is an AWFUL one for the city. Even worse, the team is locking itself into a 40 year deal with the city, meaning that after the first season in the new park when the fans stop showing up, as they have done consistently in Florida, the city will be on the hook without gaining much back.

‘This is the sort of financing you do when you cannot afford it,” said Leo Guzman, president of securities firm Guzman & Co. in Coral Gables, who is not involved in the deal. Sounds like a ringing endorsement!

Also, the team is only building 37,000 seats, which is only a few hundred more than Fenway Park holds. The Red Sox sell out every game because their fans are passionate and so are able to contend thanks to high ticket prices and demand. The Marlins average 17K fans at their games, which is being VERY generous with counting, I simply don’t see how this will work out in the end for Miami, the Marlins or the citizens of Miami. Shame on the city managers who agreed to this deal in the first place.

Everyone would be best served by allowing the team to move to a market where the fans will actually show up to the games. Clearly the product on the field isn’t the issue because even when the Marlins were winning World Series the fans don’t show up until the playoffs.



Nice Hands Murph

Three Mets-related posts in a row? I better be careful or Red Sox Nation may take away my membership card…

However, this phenomenal play by Daniel Murphy is simply too great to pass up. Sure, he could never ever do this play again no matter how many chances he got, but all that matters is that the one time it came up, not only did he get to the ball, but he got the out.

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July 2009