Archive for July 28th, 2009

28
Jul
09

Cuz This is THRILLER

When you show up to a minor league game and get stuck in a rain delay, there isn’t much entertainment left for you. Unless you were at the Long Palm Beach Cardinals game the other day where Casey Mulligan, an infielder relief pitcher took to the field and did a damn fine Thriller dance. Replete with single batting glove, Mulligan goes all out, it’s just a shame that whoever is videotaping it is with a talkative annoying little kid. I wanna see the moves son! Just because you were born 20 years after the song came out doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us.

The Cardinals would be smart to immediately reward Mulligan and bump him up a level.

[With Leather]

28
Jul
09

Nice Moves Mr. Man

Uri Man is a Vice-President for development for the parent company of the NHL’s Florida Panthers, he also appeared on Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker to apparently no avail. That’s because he appeared on Fox News over the weekend and took the opportunity to try and throw some game at his interviewer, Ainsley Earhardt.

Starting off slow, Man, who wrote a book entitled “Getting Good Jobs in Tough Times,” first compares the market to an ex-girlfriend one tries to win back. Earhardt enjoys the example and then Man, later in the interview throws out that he knows where she went to college. A little creepy, but hey, he came prepared, I respect that. Man also took the time to comment that he must have missed the memo since Earhardt and her co-host were both wearing yellow. When she told him that his pink tie matched nicely with yellow he wonders aloud about how the two of them would look together. Class act.

The interview ends in the best way a guy could dream of, her laughing at him and asking her co-host if Man was “hitting on me on live TV? Did that just happen?”

Smooth Man, smooth.

[Sports by Brooks]

28
Jul
09

HYDRO-THUUUUUNNNNDDDDEEEEER

You were probably so busy over the weekend that you didn’t get a chance to watch as closely as normally would the Lamb Weston Columbia Cup boat races. I know that feeling. Well here is all the recap you need to see, J. Michael Kelly flipping his boat during the first preliminary heat

28
Jul
09

Now THIS is My Idea of Good Governing

380_Image_Edgbaston_PavilionIn Birmingham, England, a city councilor is under fire for writing a blog entry advising fans on how best to smuggle alcohol into the Edgbaston cricket arena.

Sandwell Council’s Bob Piper wrote a blog revealing his “foolproof method of smuggling a decent drink” into the grounds. Entitled “Defying the Edgbaston drinks ban”, the blog at bobpiper.co.uk claims alcohol can be taken past security guards using a bizarre method involving a plastic box and tomatoes.

The Labour councillor writes: “If you like a bit of a tipple during the match, Edgbaston can be a bit of a nightmare on test match day, because they search everyone’s bags on the way in and confiscate any alcohol at the gate or refuse you entry.

“It’s not as if alcohol is banned or anything, it is just that Warwickshire County Cricket Club want you to splash out on buying their alcohol, which is OK if you want a bottle of Moet for about 50 notes, or pints of frozen Carling fizzy lager.”

He then advises readers to remove the cardboard case from a three-litre box of wine, before hiding the silver foil container inside in a plastic lunchbox covered with tomato.

He continues: “There you have it, friends. Tuck it in to your rucksack with a packet of crisps and a couple of glasses… and you should have plenty to sustain until at least the lunchtime session. And after that we crack open Chrissie’s tea flask and enjoy a drop of fine Guinness. Works every time for me.”

The Warwickshire County Cricket Club was obviously less then pleased, saying, “Whilst it is disappointing to hear reports of these comments, the ground regulations are quite clear for this match and have been in place for some time and will be applied as normal.” I fucking LOVE England, do you think you’d ever see a press release from an American sports institution that led off with “Whilst”?

Ever the opportunists, a spokesperson for charity Drinkaware said: “What’s the point in buying Ashes tickets if you don’t fully appreciate it because you’re drinking? And what if that crucial wicket that changes the destiny of the series falls while you’re at the bar or in the toilet?”

I can’t begin to count how many crucial wickets I’ve missed because I was at the bar. Thousands probably. What a fool I’ve been.

[24 Dash]

28
Jul
09

The Kings Dancers Take the Floor

The Sacramento Kings finalized their 2009 dance team the other day, whittling down the numbers from over 100 hopefuls to the chosen 15. It looks like they made some fine choices, I for one prefer Carly and the delightful cute redheaded Laura. You know, for their dancing abilities. And their brains! I’m a brain man.

28
Jul
09

Zebras Take Linebacker Out

windscheffelConfusingly-named Pittsburg State University in Kansas is down a player for next season after sophomore Joe Windscheffel suffered a compound fracture in his forearm that required six pins and a plate. Windscheffel was painting a fence at a farm the other day when he was attacked by some of the livestock and dragged by the arm for some distance until two fellow farm hands were able to free him.

Of course, these weren’t the normal livestock we’re used to hearing about in “Old McDonald,” Windscheffel was working at a zebra farm. Just like a player, Windscheffel claims that the zebra’s attack on him was unprovoked. When he entered the pasture, the 6’2″ 225 lb linebacker/safety had to move the three female and one male zebras out of the way in order get at the fence. Apparently the male took umbrage and launched a teeth baredattack.

Windscheffell is now out for the entire season, which is especially unfortunate considering he red-shirted his entire freshman year due to an Achilles injury, meaning the Pittsburg State Gorillas.

[KCTV]




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