The Slanch Report

Have you ever thought about what you would do with a million dollars, how you’d spend it, what awesome things you could do or buy? What about winning the lottery, say, a megabucks worth 126 million dollars? Well, now imagine that you have that money and you can only spend it on one thing, a curveball pitcher who can’t strike anyone out, who walks way too many people and whose reputation is partly based on erroneously winning the Cy Young over Pedro Martinez based almost solely on win totals*. Want to kill yourself yet? Try this link that my buddy Garnold found where you can see how many years at your current salary it would take to equal Barry Zito’s yearly $14.5million. Now you’ll definitely want to kill yourself.

Only 17 months into a 7 year contract, Barry Zito has been taken out of the rotation and placed in the bullpen for the time being. With an ERA of 7.53 in nearly 29 innings, he has been ridiculously ineffective, a WHIP just shy of 2, and a K:BB of 11:15 adds up to Zito being garbage right now.

What happened to the fun-loving Zito who brought a devastating 12-6 curveball that just froze hitters? The Zito who won 40 games in his first two full seasons has disappeared from sight. The guy once struck out 200 hitters but now is lucky to get ANY swing and misses, how could this have happened?

Clearly, right now, with his control terrible, and hitters knowing this, they are keying off ALL of his pitches as he just tries to get ANYTHING to be a strike. The way he’s pitching right now, especially off his 84 mph fastball, I think even I could go 3-4 with a couple doubles off him.

Could it be that Zito misses the fun days of the crazy A’s? Back when he, Mark Mulder and Tim Hudson all lived together, everything seemed to be easy for these three stud pitchers. It seemed like they might become the new version of the Braves, with their pitchers trading off Cy Young seasons back and forth. Zito who had been maybe the most initially advanced though got passed by his teammates. Also, unfortunately, of course it bares mentioning that the offensive catalyst of that team Jason Giambi is a known steroids user and it is likely that other players on the team used them as well. Maybe Zito should call his uncle, actor Patrick Duffy for how he handled the transition from a show like Dallas to Step by Step. Or maybe Zito is out too much with the Hollywood starlets, most recently Hillary Duff. It is possible that he no longer is bringing his stuffed animal collection on the road or maybe he just needs to change his incense, maybe some Nag Champa to lighten up the room?

So now, Zito is the most expensive bullpen pitcher yet, Mike Hampton has the courtesy at least to never play, he can only hurt his team in the wallet, not on the field. What I simply can’t imagine is how Peter Magowan, the owner of the Giants hasn’t walked over to GM Brian Sabean’s office, punched him in the face and then immediately fired him.

Back when the contract was signed, it was universally panned and predicted to become a GIANT albatross for the Giants. I don’t know that anyone expected it THIS quickly to be that terrible, but here we are. Peter Gammons used to gush over how the Giants rarely played a non-meaningful game for the playoffs, now, the only way they are getting there is if the NL West champions send them tickets as thanks for letting them beat up on the Giants 19 times a year.

But seriously, how does Sabean not get fired for such a ridiculous contract? That is a ridiculous amount of money owed to a pitcher who can’t get anyone out whatsoever. Oh, and he has another 5 years after this. Yikes. That’s quite the team that the Giants have assembled.

*For the record, Zito’s 2002 Cy Young campaign, 23-5, 229 IP, 182 Ks, 78 BBs, 2.75 ERA, 1.13 WHIP

Pedro’s 2002, 20-4, 199 IP, 239 Ks, 40 BB(!), 2.26 ERA, 0.92 WHIP(!)

RIDICULOUS. Pedro got jobbed.