Archive for October, 2008

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15
Oct
08

You Lost… I SAID, YOU LOST

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Football and Random
Tags: , , ,

Smooke goes for it!

As long-time readers know, I hate college sports, I do however make an exception for the SUNY Maritime Privateers out of Throgs Neck, NY. I EAT, DRINK, LIVE Privateers. But even me, the most rabid SUNY Martitime fan EVER thinks that their last game wasn’t quite fair.

Playing Gallaudet University, SUNY barely eked out a 27-0 victory over the weekend, holding the Gallaudet “offense” to under 200 yards, the first time the Privateers have done so since 2006. QB Michael Smooke smoked the defense throwing for a career high 191 yards with a touchdown adding in another three rushing TDs, while James Spanopolous led the team in rushing with 119 yards in 29 carries.

The key to this game was time of possession, with the Privateers eating up nearly the entire second quarter with only one drive. Gallaudet really only had one drive, in the 4th, where they threatened until the ferocious SUNY D stood up and stripped the QB of the ball. In Gallaudet’s final possession they also tossed up an interception, allowing SUNY the chance to run out the clock en route to SUNY’s first EVER three win season. WE DID IT! HOORAY!

Sure, it was accomplished against a team of players who are deaf, but hey, it still counts. Personally I’m really interested in how Gallaudet runs their team. How does the QB hike the ball? What about defensive adjustments on audibles. I mean, wouldn’t it just make sense to audible constantly at the line if you were the opposing team?

Eh, who cares, MARITIME WON! Who wants to go take out the goalposts with me?!

15
Oct
08

My Face Hurts

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

Vitali Klitschko is the new WBC heavyweight champion of the world, but no one really cares because it isn’t the 1960s and boxing no longer matters. On Saturday Klitschko fought Samuel Peter of Nigeria for the title, winning on a TKO in the 9th round. Klitschko may think he’s tough, but he should remember that a fat white guy taught me karate at the YMCA, so he better recognize.

Anyways, if you ever wanted to know what it is like to get punched in the face by a WBC champion, it looks like this:

Ow.

15
Oct
08

Stephanie Rice: Just Like Us

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Hot Women, Olympics, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

I must be prescient, I post that picture of Stephanie Rice yesterday and then BAM, today, pictures of her partying out come out. The world must love me. It seems that Stephanie and some friends went to Thailand for a weekend of funtimes and after agreeing to let some rando dude take a photograph of her Rice noticed that he kept snapping photographs for the rest of the evening. Understandably she’s upset because she is 20 years old and wants to be able to just go out and enjoy herself like anyone else her age. I agree, she should be just left alone, with me, on a romantic date where she is wooed. But, since the pictures are out there, I’d be remiss to ignore them. The Daily Telegraph, the newspaper that bought the photos fortunately also provides two other galleries with nearly 100 other Rice photos for our visual appreciation, so there’s that too. Since the Olympics ended Rice has been keeping busy, signing an $800,000 contract with Channel 7, and recently filmed her first segment for Better Homes and Gardens. Now, after having not swum since Beijing she’s been getting back into the pool and starting her training once more. “I set goals for myself in Beijing and some (swimming) times I set I didn’t achieve, so I am looking forward to moving forward and that motivates me. But swimming careers don’t really last a long time. I really want to continue doing the TV stuff when I finish my swimming career.” Sounds like a good plan to me.

Anyhoo, the galleries are here, here and here and feature photos like the ones below. The photos from Thailand in the first gallery aren’t particularly interesting but hey, any Stephanie Rice makes me happy.

Sigh. Swoon.

14
Oct
08

Shea Goodbye

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball
Tags: ,

So it begins, so long blue and orange stadium. May your demise signal the end of the Mets’ recent futility.

14
Oct
08

The Frying Hawaiian Strikes Again

By slanch 10 Comments
Categories: Baseball, Douches and Random
Tags: , , , , ,

Shane Victorino has been a pest these playoffs, with a huge grand slam in the first round and then being a catalyst towards a benches emptying standing around “fight,” but now he’s REALLY done it, he’s angered PETA. After revealing that his favorite food is Spam musubi, the Flying Hawaiian has irked the publicity whores over at PETA who sent him a letter about their recent investigations into the pig farm that supplies the manufacturer of Spam. “We suspect that the cruelty in every can of Spam will infuriate Shane more than a high Hiroki Kuroda fastball,” says Dan Shannon, PETA’s assistant director, in a note. “If Shane likes Spam a lot, he should buy tickets to the Broadway play but leave it off his dinner plate.”

Several things about this story interest me. One, Shane Victorino has poor taste in food. Two, who knew that Spam actually came from pigs! Three, PETA has GOT to get a life and get over themselves. Four, Don Shannon LOVES shitty puns. When the story was brought to the attention of a Phillies PR rep, the rep said he’d ask Victorino for a comment, after the World Series. After the jump is the letter from PETA, an organization that I wish would just stick to real animal rights issues.

And a hearty h/t to Philly.com for the “Frying Hawaiian” bit.

[Philly.com]

Continue reading ‘The Frying Hawaiian Strikes Again’

14
Oct
08

He’s Wide Open, He Shoots…HE MISSES!

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Soccer
Tags: , , , , ,

Have you ever been the object of hatred for an entire nation? Me either, yet. Although I’m working on it. Scottish soccer player Chris Iwelumo probably can’t say the same thing though. That’s because, in a national team match between the Scots and the Norwegians in a World Cup qualifier he managed one of the worst possible misses in soccer history.

With nearly 30 minutes remaining in a tie game and after a nice little move on the outside by one of his teammates, Iwelumo received a perfectly crossed pass right to him about 2 yards away from the goal. Despite being so close, with the goalie completely out of position and an easy goal awaiting him, Iwelumo hit the ball far left. Ooops!

Continue reading ‘He’s Wide Open, He Shoots…HE MISSES!’

14
Oct
08

Don’t Mess With Sammy Sumo

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , , , , ,

Australia is making all the news the last few days but I missed out on getting this story up yesterday. Thankfully, I can do it today!

In Queensland, Australia history has been made by Samantha-Jane Stacey, a 14 year old young lady who became the youngest Australian to win a medal at the World Sumo Championships. Despite suffering a sprained ankle earlier in the tournament, Stacey, nicknamed “Sammy Sumo” battled through 5 matches en route to a silver medal in the junior women’s heavyweight division.

Unfortunately, many Australians have decided to deride Stacey’s accomplishments, instead hating on her for her for her 286 lbs weight instead of celebrating her for doing something no one else has ever done. Samantha-Jane’s mother, Sue was very upset at the comments that online readers left on a story regrading her daughter. “Some of the comments were the most disgusting, un-Australian things I’ve ever read… She eats very healthily; Weetbix and fruit for breakfast, a salad roll for lunch and a normal dinner. She probably eats less than my eldest daughter, who’s a size 8.”

Previously at school Stacey had found other students giving her a hard time, but after transferring now she’s a sporting hero. “She’s very confident in who she is and I’m just so happy she’s found something that she’s good at in sumo wrestling,” Sue continued, “I know how hard she works and how hard she trains. She’s on the go all day.”

The sumo world has taken notice of this 14 year old prodigy, she even received an invitation to come train in Japan after her performance in Estonia at the WSCs.

For a gallery of Stacey in action head on over here.

14
Oct
08

Australian Football Sounds Like a Fun Time

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , , , , ,

I have no idea how Australian rules Football works, is it the same as American football? Some weird combination of rugby and football? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. This story from Melbourne makes the Australian Football League sound extremely interesting.

The Western Bulldogs’ defensive coach Peter Dean has made headlines because he got punched multiple times the other night by a bouncer outside the Waterside Hotel on Friday after he and another Western Bulldogs employee were not allowed into a pub. Dean was apparently not drunk but his companion was intoxicated and helped cause the general incident. According to the owner of the Hotel, also a former Bulldogs player, Stuart Wigney, the two men were refused entry and then tried to sneak in through a backdoor which led to the altercation.

The Waterside, which is one of the sponsor’s of the Bulldogs haven’t commented publicly yet until they review the security tapes but obviously are concerned about the whole incident. Among the other connections to the team and the Hotel, Wayne Campbell, another part-owner of the Hotel was, until last year, the midfield coach for the Bulldogs. Even stranger, Dean, who is also randomly an electrician used to do work at the Hotel before the current ownership group took over.

I love Australia. After the jump, completely unrelated, one of the main reasons I love the Aussies.

Continue reading ‘Australian Football Sounds Like a Fun Time’

14
Oct
08

Fenway Soda Vendors Not at the Top of Their Game

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball, Boston and Television
Tags: , , ,

Amidst the Red Sox opting to host Fright Fest at Fenway instead of a baseball game last night was this moment that the folks over at Home Run Derby captured. Usually when Craig Sager is on the screen I have to leave the rooms in order to protect my fragile eyesight, but somehow HRD managed to last through a Sager segment in order to capture a clumsy soda vendor at Fenway. This might be the only enjoyable thing that came out of yesterday’s suckfest.

[Home Run Derby]

14
Oct
08

I Wonder What I’ll Do Tomorrow…

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Olympics, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , , , ,
Barnes in action

Barnes in action

When it comes to procrastination I’m probably in the top-10 rankings worldwide, which makes this story about Irish Olympic hopeful canoeist Helen Barnes all the harder for me to understand. Ms. Barnes, 36, wanted to continue her training and prepare for the 2012 London games but was worried that at age 40 it might become harder for her to eventually have a family. So, the career supply teacher (whatever that is, does she teach people how to find the supply closet?) opted to get 10-15 of her eggs frozen.

“When I missed out on Beijing I didn’t feel ready to finish and wanted to continue and go to the 2012 Olympics,” she told her local paper. “I think every woman has the right to do whatever they want with their body. All I am doing is maximising my chances of having a baby in future. I am really lucky the science is out there for this to happen.”

I’m totally in favor of this, I just can’t imagine ever having such foresight, or actually getting around to doing such a thing. I haven’t even eaten lunch yet. I have the food in my kitchen. I just need to eat it. But that’s all the way over there… Maybe later…

14
Oct
08

Manny Being Kinda Scuzzy

By slanch 3 Comments
Categories: Baseball, Hot Women and Random
Tags: , , , , ,

During warm-ups for game 2, here is Manny enjoying the sights. Particularly those of the teenaged Philadelphia ball-girls. Classy!

"That's just Manny being Manny, I'm a bad man."

[Fan IQ]

14
Oct
08

I Don’t Remember This Part of Batman

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , , , ,

Sorry for the lack of posts yesterday, I opted to celebrate Columbus by going on roller coasters. So, it was with great regret that I missed out on Nancy Kerrigan’s birthday. And really, who doesn’t love Nancy Kerrigan, besides maybe Jeff Gillooly and Tonya Harding… Actually, I don’t really care either, but I do like Catwomen and Bat babes. Also there is a hilariously bad version of Mr. Freeze with a bad Arnold overdub, it’s epic. Enjoy.

And if you’re curious as to my roller coaster experiences, I suggest checking out the video below the jump for an example of what I did.

Continue reading ‘I Don’t Remember This Part of Batman’

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