For those of you that liked the gallery of beach volleyball players before, here’s another one that will most definitely not cause you to go blind but may break your brain. Enjoy!
Archive for July 15th, 2008
15
Jul
08
More Beach Volleyball Fun!
The secret for the American League’s success in the All Star Game has finally been revealed, it’s Ichiro. Or rather it’s his f-bomb laced tirades against the National League in the locker room before the game that inspires his fellow AL’ers to go out and destroy the NL.
“It’s why we win,” David Ortiz admitted.
“If you’ve never seen it, it’s definitely something pretty funny,” Justin Morneau said. “It’s hard to explain, the effect it has on everyone. It’s such a tense environment. Everyone’s a little nervous for the game, and then he comes out. He doesn’t say a whole lot the whole time he’s in there, and all of a sudden, the manager gets done with his speech, and he pops off.”
Ichiro in interviews often prefers to speak through an interpreter, but according to the players, he is highly proficient in English. Continue reading ‘Ichiro is the Key to the AL’s Success’
Alyssa Milano, after meeting me the other day, has decided she is no longer interested in dating professional baseball players saying, “they are grown men playing a little boy’s sport. That makes them childish.”
After having dated pitchers such as Barry Zito, Brad Penny and Carl Pavano, she is content now with her mystery man, a gentleman known only as “David.”
Is it possible I’m dating Alyssa Milano and didn’t even remember?
I have got to lay off the drugs.
Continue reading ‘Sad News for Pitching Rotations Across the Game’
The Trojans of USC may be one of the top football powers in college football, but frankly, who gives a shit since college football is retarded and uninteresting anyways.
Carroll failed out in two tries in the NFL, including being terrible for my Patriots, but he apparently is unstoppable in college. I think we found out why, it’s all the shirtless parties with young men!
I didn’t think sports could get more homoerotic, and then BAM! it comes back and give you something else, I’ll never doubt again.
Alex Rodriguez has been through a whirlwind of tabloid gossip the last week or so, with news of his impending divorce, rumored affair with Madonna and of course, last year’s episodes with the manly stripper. So, the NY Post, bastion of hard-hitting journalism had a photographer following A-Rod around and managed to grab these shots of him staring at some rando girl’s butt as she walked in front of him.
I especially love that smile he’s giving her, the Post described it as “A-Rod’s famous smile,” I’d say it’s more lecherous and pervy, but hey, I don’t have a fancy journalism degree so what do I know? To me, it looks more like an “I’m gonna have sex with you and then eat one of your arms while sniffing your high heels” kind of smile, but that’s only a guess…
At least when I smile at women they don’t clutch their bags like they might need to escape in a moment’s notice. They’re usually too busy trying to catch themselves from fainting from how devastatingly handsome I am.
Hoketsu is 67 years old and his first trip to the Olympics was at the Tokyo Olympics in 1964. Now he’s back and getting prepared for his turn in the Dressage event. In 1964 he participated in Show Jumping, finishing a strong 40th overall. He’s keeping his goals low this time out, merely hoping to finish in the top-25.
A retired drug company executive, Hoketsu he didn’t know how long he would keep competing but told reporters, “It’s up to fate and fortune. But for now I will keep on riding as long as me and my horse remain fit and fine.”
Also awesome, “Hoketsu was born in Tokyo into a family which allegedly has its roots in a clan of pirates who infested the Inland Sea in the medieval ages.” I don’t know how that helps him on a horse, but it’s an awesome bit of family history.
Hoketsu will be the oldest Japanese man to participate in the Olympics, but remains behind Oscar Swahn, a Swedish sharpshooter who won Silver in the 1920 games at the age of 72 years and 10 months.
The Rogers Centre The Skydome (it is and always will be the Skydome to me) in Toronto houses the Blue Jays as well as the Renaissance Hotel which has rooms that overlook the stadium. Over the weekend while the Jays were finishing their series against the Yankees, apparently one guest provided some more excitement than the games itself.
During the 7th inning of one of the games a buxom blonde decided to take in the game topless, wearing only a thong. Thanks mysterious lady! The Jumbotron video guy noticed her quickly, although obviously he couldn’t showcase her on the big board, but he pointed her out to a photographer from the Ottawa Sun who had no such compunctions.
“At Jays games, a lot of people bring binoculars, and some saw us looking over at the box and then looked up themselves,” said Dave Abel, the photographer, after having snapped up several photos.
Of course, being narcs, the Renaissance Hotel immediately went up to the room and put an end to the fun show.
“Our security and duty manager went up and dealt with the guests,” said Dan Woodburn, Renaissance’s director of operations. “When people check in, we have quite a procedure and they have to sign a waiver saying they won’t throw anything or do anything (risque).”
How boring! If I was in one of those suites you better believe the crowd would be getting a show. Of course, the security people would be totally scared of my rippling abs, chiseled pecs and beg for the chance to see me naked.
Of course, several years ago a couple were boning in their hotel room and they put that on the Jumbotron. Apparently, that’s OK, but a topless blonde in a thong is a danger to society. Stupid Canadians, you’re doing it wrong!
With the All Star game in Yankee Stadium, and everyone in the media falling over themselves to wax poetic about the stadium and the Yankees, the fans in the stadium are doing their part to show why they’re douchebags.
Last night when Chase Utley was introduced he was lustily booed, now granted it was likely Mets fans that were booing him, but fuck it, they’re all from New York, and it was still stupid. Here’s Chase’s reaction to getting booed. Don’t worry ChUtley, you’re still totally boss in my book, now keep cranking those homers for my fantasy team.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Last night’s Home Run Derby was some kind of cruel endurance test as ESPN put Joe Morgan and Chris Berman together as the announcers. I’m pretty sure that can be considered torture under the American Code of Military Justice. I hope they had the TVs tuned in over at Guantanamo. All I know is that after the pure analysis Joe provided, plus my ears ringing from “BACK BACK BACK, it falls just beyond the infield,” that I came super close to stabbing a screwdriver into my ear canals.
The Slanch Report 
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