Archive for July 16th, 2008

16
Jul
08

Look Out Kelly Slater

Not content with being the best quarterback on the planet, dating the hottest woman in the world along with being incredibly attractive and intelligent, Tom Brady has decided to up his cool quotient by taking up surfing. Out in Costa Rica with Gisele, The Big Lead came across some shots of Brady getting ready to hang ten, or whatever it is that surfers do. Of course, Giselle is along and looks simply smoking as usual.

So long as Brady doesn’t hurt himself, I’m totally fine with this, but seriously, you’re making the rest of us look bad out here…
At least I have my totally successful sports blog to fall back on!

Sigh.

[The Big Lead]


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(After the jump, some hot new pics from Gisele, because I can)

Continue reading ‘Look Out Kelly Slater’

16
Jul
08

What Were the Judges’ Qualifications?

In olden times in Greece anything was game in terms of sex, if it had a hole and a heartbeat, it was fair game, nowadays, society has drastically changed. With Leather has the sad story today of a competitive competition shut down by the Greek society police.

9 British women, on the popular vacation island Zakynthos, were arrested, along with 6 British and 6 Greek men, their crime? Encouraging obscene behavior. Shit, I encourage obscene behavior at all times. It seems the local gendarmes found a local bar’s promotion of a public blowjob competition to be obscene. I can’t believe it! That’s not obscene, that’s an awesome promotion! Sure as hell beats most of the happy hour deals at bars in NYC…

The article unfortunately has no details on the standards the judges intended to use, the prize to be won or the pedestals on which the women would have performed. However, I think it is safe to say that if it is no longer to hold BJ competitions on the Greek Isles than I simply don’t know what’s becoming of this world. I miss the good old days of classical history.

[With Leather]


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16
Jul
08

Shortstop Tony Peña Jr. Upset He Doesn’t Have A Base

This article from the Onion is simply too perfect to pass up.

“KANSAS CITY—Royals shortstop Tony Peña Jr. expressed his long-held grievances Wednesday concerning the unfairness and injustice involved in not having a base of his own to cover. “It’s not fair. Why does every infielder get a base but me?” said Peña, who has received two warnings from umpires in recent games to stop bringing out his own base to shortstop. “[First baseman Mark] Teahen gets to stand right on his very own base all day. And [catcher John] Buck gets to wear all that cool equipment and hang out by the most important base of them all. I’m stuck in no man’s land, just throwing the ball to everyone else. This sucks.” Second baseman Mark Grudzielanek later met with Peña to discuss a compromise in which both players would stand approximately the same distance from second.”

[The Onion]


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16
Jul
08

I Hope This Doesn’t Spoil Your Excitement

Are you an Olympics junkie, unable to wait for the opening ceremonies on August 8th? Well, good news jonesers, despite trying to keep the ceremony’s fireworks display under wraps, it required a rehearsal and it’s not so easy to keep that totally hidden. Since China is so open with the media, there was little doubt these photos would get out to interweb’s tubes, and being an expert journalist, my secret Chinese sources smuggled these out to me via the British newspapers.

Check out here for more, better quality photos.


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16
Jul
08

Competition Goes Into Overtime

No, we don’t mean the All Star Game, we’re talking about MUCH more important sporting events, the 647th Kýrkpýnar Oil Wrestling Championships, DUH! This annual Turkish sporting tradition, first held in 1362, found itself needing an overtime period to crown a winner this year. Recep Kara ended up besting Ekrem Yavuz during a 10-minute overtime to win his second championship, all of which was a shocker to me, particularly since I had put all my money on Yavuz. I’m coming for you Ekrem, you ruined my life!

Over the three-day, male wrestlers only, event, over two tons of oil was used to lube up these gladiators. Don’t start your training just yet though, the event is only open to Turkish citizens. Which is totally fine, it’s not as though I WASTED 10 months of my life intensely training for this year’s championships only to find out that I couldn’t participate.


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16
Jul
08

A Room With a View

The Indianapolis Colts’ new home, Lucas Oil Stadium has been recently opened to some press for some walk-arounds, and has not overwhelmingly impressed. For one thing, the roof, which ostensibly is used to keep the weather OUT of the stadium has in fact been leaking water. Not exactly what you’re hoping for from a domed stadium.

While on the walkthrough, media members noticed certain sections of seats that present truly abysmal views. Take for instance the photo to the right. Those are actual seat views in the stadium, can you imagine paying big bucks for some rare Colts tickets and you get to the game and these are you seats. I think I might go on a three-state killing spree like during my sophomore year of college. I mean, that killing spree I DIDN’T do, yeah, that’s the ticket…

Sure, this isn’t the first stadium to have obstructed view seats that are pretty shitty. Fenway is famous for its own obstructed view, if you’re lucky, this could be your seat at a sold-out game in the Fens. Then again Fenway was built in 1912, and Lucas Oil Stadium is due to open this year. Conceivably they would realize how shitacular these obstructed view seats are and not even bother.

Reportedly, these seats may be removed for the 2012 Super Bowl to install more suites, but in the meantime the fine people of Indianapolis can look forward to the chance to seat behind any of the few dozen truly horrid seats at the stadium.


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16
Jul
08

No One Wants to Be A-Rod’s Friend

Alex Rodriguez is a very popular man, his teammates love him and would walk through a brick wall to help him. That’s why when he threw a party at Jay-Z’s 40/40 club, none of them showed up.

It’s sad when no one shows up to your party and, according to the NY Post, you are left throwing back shots sitting next to your mommy.

Meanwhile Derek Jeter continues to torture me by dating Minka Kelly, as she came to his party at Marquee. STAY AWAY FROM HER JETER, YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH, LEAVE SOME FOR THE REST OF US!

Sigh. At least Alyssa Milano and I are still dating


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