Posts Tagged ‘All Star Game 2008


No One Wants to Be A-Rod’s Friend

Alex Rodriguez is a very popular man, his teammates love him and would walk through a brick wall to help him. That’s why when he threw a party at Jay-Z’s 40/40 club, none of them showed up.

It’s sad when no one shows up to your party and, according to the NY Post, you are left throwing back shots sitting next to your mommy.

Meanwhile Derek Jeter continues to torture me by dating Minka Kelly, as she came to his party at Marquee. STAY AWAY FROM HER JETER, YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH, LEAVE SOME FOR THE REST OF US!

Sigh. At least Alyssa Milano and I are still dating

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Ichiro is the Key to the AL’s Success

The secret for the American League’s success in the All Star Game has finally been revealed, it’s Ichiro. Or rather it’s his f-bomb laced tirades against the National League in the locker room before the game that inspires his fellow AL’ers to go out and destroy the NL.

“It’s why we win,” David Ortiz admitted.

“If you’ve never seen it, it’s definitely something pretty funny,” Justin Morneau said. “It’s hard to explain, the effect it has on everyone. It’s such a tense environment. Everyone’s a little nervous for the game, and then he comes out. He doesn’t say a whole lot the whole time he’s in there, and all of a sudden, the manager gets done with his speech, and he pops off.”

Ichiro in interviews often prefers to speak through an interpreter, but according to the players, he is highly proficient in English. Continue reading ‘Ichiro is the Key to the AL’s Success’


NY Fans Remain the Absolute Classiest

With the All Star game in Yankee Stadium, and everyone in the media falling over themselves to wax poetic about the stadium and the Yankees, the fans in the stadium are doing their part to show why they’re douchebags.

Last night when Chase Utley was introduced he was lustily booed, now granted it was likely Mets fans that were booing him, but fuck it, they’re all from New York, and it was still stupid. Here’s Chase’s reaction to getting booed. Don’t worry ChUtley, you’re still totally boss in my book, now keep cranking those homers for my fantasy team.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Last night’s Home Run Derby was some kind of cruel endurance test as ESPN put Joe Morgan and Chris Berman together as the announcers. I’m pretty sure that can be considered torture under the American Code of Military Justice. I hope they had the TVs tuned in over at Guantanamo. All I know is that after the pure analysis Joe provided, plus my ears ringing from “BACK BACK BACK, it falls just beyond the infield,” that I came super close to stabbing a screwdriver into my ear canals.

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Continue reading ‘NY Fans Remain the Absolute Classiest’


The Single Best Part of the All Star Fanfest

At MLB’s All Star Fan Fest on Sunday there was one line that was worth waiting on, and the swarming crowds proved that to be true.

What baseball celebrity could inspire such devotion, such eager excitement from fans?

Hank Aaron?

Willie Mays?

Bill Pulsipher?

What baseball celebrity requires an intense state police escort?

What baseball celebrity inspires crowds to go Beatles-on-Ed-Sullivan nuts in sheer desperation to snatch a photo?

Of course, it was none other than that noted “catcher” of star pitchers, Alyssa Milano!

I’m pretty sure she fell totally in lust with me. I mean, look at the way she autographed this photo, that heart swoop MEANS something. It has to…

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Corey Hart Gets All Star Bid, Daughter Gets A Beer Bath

Corey Hart was voted in by the fans to his first All-Star game and his teammates couldn’t have been more excited for him, deciding to invade his press conference and shower him with beer. It’s a totally awesome gesture and shows how genuinely excited and happy for him his teammates are, but they clearly didn’t think about that he was holding his infant daughter. Oops!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I assume she’s fine, but if as she becomes a teenager she starts dancing on tables and begging men to spray her with champagne and beer we’ll know exactly where that desire came from.

[Awful Announcing]

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Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!

September 2022