Archive for March, 2009



24
Mar
09

MMM All You Can Eat Munchies

cin_ayce_seating_581My most important fantasy baseball league has been involved in a discussion about taking a league trip to go see a game, preferably to a stadium that we would otherwise have no reason to go. I’ve been pushing for Pittsburgh but now, I think Cincinnati is the place for us.

For the low low price of only $30, fans can come to a game at the Great American Ballpark, sit in the bleachers and get all you can eat hot dogs, popcorn, peanuts and soda. While beers and other foods are still available for purchase, why would you when you can eat all the popcorn you can dream of?

Oh, and the real reason why this deal appeals to me, and why it makes so much sense; from the Reds website, in order to get into the special section, “Bring your special All-You-Can-Eat ticket to the Fan Accomodation Station located near Section 420” there they’ll punch your ticket and away you’ll go.

Section 420 for the all-you-can-eat? I buy it. Sure you’re in not great seats, and of course there is having to watch the Reds, BUT, think of how many peanuts and hot dogs you could have!!! Yum.

[Reds.com]

23
Mar
09

Follow the Slanch Report on Twitter

Do you twitter? Have you twatted? While I view the whole twittering phenomenon as bizarre, I get that people are into it, and since I know you don’t want to be away from the Slanch Report even for an instant, we have added a twitter account (and a handy Follow Us link up on the top right.) Please add us on your following list and stay tuned for even more exciting developments to the site.

23
Mar
09

Don’t Play Pool With This Guy

I suck at pool; I’m more likely to rip the felt off your table than actually hit the ball into a pocket, so this video is especially impressive to me. Here is Semih Sayginer hitting some totally kickass shots that seem to be ridiculously hard, I think it is safe to say that this guy has some skills. I’d highly recommend not playing a game for money with him.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

After the jump, the best billiards related comedy clip ever, from the ever-wonderful Mr. Show, it’s Van Hammersly, host of a series of how-to billiards videos.

Continue reading ‘Don’t Play Pool With This Guy’

23
Mar
09

A Royal Doppelganger

Willie Bloomquist is a super-scrubby utility man who can field a little bit and run fast, but has some issues with that old “hitting the baseball” skill that most professional baseball players need. So, of course he gets a 2-year $3.1 million contract over the off-season from the Kansas City Royals to leave the Seattle Mariners. When he entered the clubhouse the first time he might have gotten very confused to see that he was already there. That would have been Royals catcher John Buck, best remembered by me as the guy who took Hideki Okajima deep on the first pitch Oki threw in the majors. I can only hope they utilize both men’s physical similarities for some incredibly awesome trick play.

And of course, please vote in the poll below in order to send these doppelgangers on to their final resting place, and make sure to check out all the other doppelgangers we’ve assembled by clicking here.

buck-bloomquist

23
Mar
09

Stop Hitting Yourself

Mike Tyson was one of the most ferocious boxers ever, he would deliver his fury upon opponents without stopping until they were knocked out cold. Tyson Fury, a British born boxer doesn’t quite have the same killer instinct, despite having a perfect boxing name. Fury in fact comes from a long-line of boxers and bare-knuckle brawlers, you’d think with such a family history that he’d be familiar with how to throw a punch. Unfortunately on March 14, in a fight against Lee Swaby, Fury threw a punch that missed his opponent but managed to hit Fury straight on in the face. Now that’s TALENT!

And join us after the jump for another angle of this epic pugilistic moment.

[Champions 365]

Continue reading ‘Stop Hitting Yourself’

23
Mar
09

QB Scrambles One Last Time

Former Lions quarterback William “Jeff” Komlo died in a car accident on March 14 in Greece after being on the lam for the past 4 years. After failing to show up for sentencing on two drunk-driving convictions in Pennsylvania in June of 2005. Among his other problems at the time was another warrant seeking Komlo for an alleged assault on his girlfriend, cocaine possession and he was also being investigated for suspicious fires at two of his homes. So, he was doing pretty well…

Police officials in Pennsylvania initially worried that this was a case of Komlo trying to evade capture by faking his death, but late last week stated that the evidence satisfied them that Komlo was indeed dead. If he isn’t dead, he should resign with the Lions, they could use someone with that kind of scrambling ability…

[Kansas City]

23
Mar
09

This Kid Has Game

This video isn’t new, but it’s new to me, and hopefully you too. Here is Cody Paul, apparently an 8 year old when this was taped in ’07, demolishing his opponents in Pee-Wee football in California. Sure, it’s kid sports, but this kid has some serious moves, I have to believe that he already has like 6 scholarship offers from all the big football schools, they gotta get their hooks in him early. If they can catch up with him that is…

23
Mar
09

The Great One Doesn’t Miss a Meal

prostars-gretzkySpring training received an extra bit of greatness on Friday when two of the greatest athletes of all time, Muhammad Ali and Wayne Gretzky, came by to watch some of the game between the Royals and Dodgers. Unfortunately, we’ve grown accustomed to seeing Ali not as the world knew him as an athlete but now more a victim of his Parkinson’s.

At least Ali has a horribly debilitating illness as an excuse, Gretzky also looked awful, and all he’s been doing is owning an NHL team and hanging out. He certainly looks well-past his playing weight of 185; now the Great One looks more like the Great Buffet Eater. Look at that belly, is running the Phoenix Coyotes really that stressful? I get that you’ve been retired for 10 years now, but c’mon, get on the ol’ elliptical machine once in a while, Wayne, because this is NOT your best look. It’s a long ways from the Pro Stars days I suppose…

20
Mar
09

TMI From USC Radio Man

Announcers should never be the story, unless they have some serious sexual hang-ups, (nod, Marv Albert) so this story about USC radio football play-by-play man Pete Arbogast is pretty useless; but hey, it’s a slow day today and everyone else is paying attention to college basketball…

While on some internet radio show called the LuvCh@t, hosted by famed broadcaster Jim “The Poorman” Trenton, Arbogast decided to talk about the size of his junk, his favorite sexual positions and getting ass on the road, all within the first few minutes of the chat.

The show, sponsored by ExtenZe and a sex-toy company also interviewed Arbogast’s wife who came on inexplicably with their teenage son to discuss her and her husband’s sex life. When asked what the Mrs. Arbogast’s favorite position was, ever the gentleman, her husband interrupts and says “Let’s just say it’s a number.” Gee thanks for the information Dad! Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go burn my brain with acid in an attempt to rid myself of that image…

[LA Daily News via Sports by Brooks]

20
Mar
09

ALexander the Great Makes His Return

The Washington Capitals’ Alexander Ovechkin scored his 50th goal of the season last night, making him the first NHL’er to reach that point this year. This is the third time Ovechkin has reached the 50 goal pinnacle in his 4 seasons in the NHL, coming close with the other season finishing at 45 goals. So, to commemorate his accomplishment, here is a video of all 50 goals he’s made so far this season. Enjoy!

20
Mar
09

Whither Screech?

The Screaming Eagles of Cape Breton are a Canadian junior hockey team who should be gearing themselves up for the playoffs, instead, the team is desperately searching for its missing mascot. Club officials reported that, after finding a supply door unlocked, they found that their $5,000 Screech the Eagle mascot costume was missing. It was last seen March 11.

“I’m doing OK,” Peter MacDonald, the hockey club’s director of marketing, said Thursday afternoon. “I’d be better if I had a mascot. To be perfectly honest, it’s been very inconvenient. I’ve spent a lot of time this week looking for [the costume] when I should be worrying about other things leading up to the game.”

The police are investigating the crime but the team has announced that if the suit were returned they wouldn’t press any charges. The 8 people with access to the room all deny involvement and there are no other leads for the police to follow at this time as there are no surveillance cameras in the arena.

With the playoffs just around the corner, the team is planning on breaking out an older, smellier version of the mascot costume if the nicer, newer version cannot be located. While hockey fans are notoriously a superstitious bunch, head coach Mario Durocher laughed off the suggestion that the missing mascot could affect his his players’ concentration.

“You’re not serious? There could be [only] one person in the building and there would no impact on my players. There could be 10,000 people and there should be no impact on my players. So with a mascot or not, if there’s noise or not, we should be focused as a hockey team. As a player, you have to focus on the ice, on what you control.”

Screaming Eagles fan Eddie Farrell took a dimmer approach to the situation, “We’re going into the playoffs, you don’t change horses now. I don’t think people want to see a new uniform coming out just before the playoffs. It’d be the same if the whole team suddenly had different jerseys. It won’t affect them [the players] at all. We’re still going to win, but if we lose, I guess we can blame the mascot.”

[The Chronicle Herald]

20
Mar
09

I WANT BLOOOOOOD!

San Jose Sharks winger Brad Staubitz likes to use his hands–I’d imagine he could be an accomplished woodworker–when he’s on the ice, particularly when he can mash in an opponent’s face as he did to the Nashville Predators’ Jordin Tootoo. The refs stop this fight before it gets worse but Staubitz gets in a whole lot of face shots before they do, bloodying up Tootoo. And the hockey overlords want to get RID of fighting?




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