Archive for December 8th, 2008


The Ravens Think Your Pulled Pork Sandwich is a Wuss

From the DC Sports Blog comes this photo of a food stand at the Ravens stadium. Now, call me crazy, but shouldn’t SOMEONE involved with the team at some time have spoken up and asked the question if they really want to call all their food cowardly; or even have the world “cowardly” involved in any manner with their franchise (unless of course, you’re referring to former owner Art Modell…) Did the marketing people really think that if you were to name the food stands the “Craving Zone” that fans WOULDN’T get the wordplay? Are Baltimoreans that idiotic? Well…

[DC Sports]


The Best Thing About Hockey

Via Fan IQ comes this video of a truly awesomely epic college hockey fight. Forget two guys squaring off, or even the goalies getting involved, this is TEAM ON TEAM! The clip comes from a game between Eastern Michigan and the University of Illinois, the competition on the ice didn’t seem as well matched, with the Illini winning 10-1, but this fight in the 3rd period made the night worthwhile for the gents from Eastern Michigan.


Here are the penalties doled out after the awesome melee, Illinois players are in the orange. Now THIS is hockey!

Third Period Penalties
0:18 Illini J. Liang Slashing
5:14 EMU P. Graves Holding
14:24 EMU P. Graves Tripping
17:21 EMU J. Schultz Misconduct
17:21 EMU J. Petriches Misconduct
17:21 Illini B. Hoelzer Misconduct
18:12 EMU R. Stewart Fighting
18:12 EMU R. Stewart Game Disqualification
18:12 EMU J. Schweiger Fighting
18:12 EMU J. Schweiger Game Disqualification
18:12 EMU J. Schweiger Grabbing the Facemask
18:12 EMU J. Schweiger Abuse of Officials
18:12 EMU J. Schweiger Game Disqualification
18:12 EMU M. Hattie Fighting
18:12 EMU M. Hattie Game Disqualification
18:12 EMU R. Cupit Fighting
18:12 EMU R. Cupit Game Disqualification
18:12 Illini A. Betourne Instigating
18:12 Illini A. Betourne Fighting
18:12 Illini A. Betourne Game Disqualification
18:12 Illini A. Goldblatt Fighting
18:12 Illini A. Goldblatt Game Disqualification
18:12 Illini B. Goldblatt Fighting
18:12 Illini B. Goldblatt Game Disqualification
18:12 Illini D. Kohler Fighting
18:12 Illini D. Kohler Game Disqualification

[Fan IQ]


An Apple a Day Could Kill You

Superstud rookie Derrick Rose has jumped right into the NBA season, looking absolutely like a #1 overall pick SHOULD look, but sometimes there are reminders that he is only 20 years old. For example, he is unable to practice today because he required 10 stitches to close a gash on his arm. He wasn’t in a knife fight though or something badass — at least according to him — no, reportedly he rolled onto a knife that he had used to carve up an apple while in bed. Because I find it’s always best to leave loose blades in my bed. The ladies love the danger!

[Chicago Tribune]


McHale Takes the Floor Once More

Minnesota Timberwolves VP of Basketball Operations Kevin McHale has fired head coach Randy Whitman after the ‘wolves started out 4-15 on the season and announced that he will take over as the new coach. Even more surprising, he announced that he was relinquishing his front office position in order to focus on the game-to-game requirements of coaching. McHale, who features a 19-12 career record as an NBA coach (and also two of the greatest cameos on Cheers of all time) isn’t likely to find much success with his current roster, all of which he assembled but he isn’t expected to be too troubled by that since he did bring another championship to the Celtics last season. It is unknown at this time whether after the season if McHale will return to the front office or if the long-suffering Minnesota fans will get their wish and get a capable talent evaluator for their team instead. There has also been no word as to whether he will coach in his famously ugly Cosby-style sweaters or if he’ll switch to the more stylish suit jacket, mock turtleneck style that he features for press conferences.


The Asian Beach Games Look Like Fun

As you readers I’m sure already knew, the 2008 Asian Beach Games were held a month ago and I’m only just getting around to it. I apologize. Anyhoo, here are some photos from the events courtesy of my favorite photoblog The Big Picture, as always, go there for the full hi-res versions of the pictures and lots more amazing shots of everything. I have zero idea of what the game going on in the second picture is, but it looks totally awesome. And, of course, the Asian games have the same thoughts about beach volleyball that everyone else has, there is only one thing worth paying attention to…That’s Alexandra Turichsheva of Kazakhstan for those of you seeking to google her…





UNC Tarheels Should Tar and Feather This “Guy”

You know how you know you’re a really successful soccer coach? When you can ask the various girls on your college team important soccer questions like:

’Who [her] fuck of the minute is, fuck of the hour is, fuck of the week [is],’ whether there was a ‘guy [she] ha[dn’t] fucked yet,’ and whether she ‘got the guys’ names as they came to the door or whether she just took a number.’” He routinely commented on players’ “nice legs,” “nice racks” and “breasts bouncing.” Among other things, Dorrance also asked one player if she “was going to have sex with the entire lacrosse team,” advised another to “keep [her] knees together; you can’t make it too easy for them,” inquired of another whether she was going to have a “shag fest” with her boyfriend, and told the trainer within earshot of team members that he fantasized about having “an Asian threesome” with his Asian players.

The man in question is University of North Carolina women’s soccer coach Anson Dorrance who has led the UNC team to 19 out of 27 possible NCAA championships with a win percentage of .943 (career record 625-28-20) which is staggeringly dominating. He’s been the NCAA coach of the year 7 times and this past March was elected to the National Soccer Hall of Fame (a place that keeps sending back my donations of my teenage shin guards as “not relevant to soccer excellence.”) So, clearly he’s been pretty good, and UNC, a school that loves it’s championships is not in a rush to kill the golden goose.

Unfortunately, that means that he’s been able to get away with this gross inappropriateness to his players. One of the plaintiffs, Melissa Jennings who brought her case of sexual harassment to the courts explained,

“I was 17,” Ms. Jennings recalled, “when he asked me [“Who are you fucking?”] in a dark hotel room, knee-to-knee….” By this time, Ms. Jennings had already reported her discomfort with Dorrance’s behavior to a school official, but the official took no action and instructed her to “work it out” with Dorrance.

That’s great UNC, I mean, why would you want to pay attention to any claims from the students that they are being harassed, by a university employee no less. I can see why they’d want to ignore it. After all, those soccer player girls are always asking for it, haven’t you seen all those games where the girls trap the ball with their chest? I mean, they’re just ASKING for it, why else would they be attracting all that attention to their boobs?

Of course, the courts have thrown the case out, (thanks Bush appointees! (the two judges who wanted it thrown out were each appointed by a Bush)) because clearly these women deserve to have a man whom they should be able to trust, and who has incredible power over them continue to harass them and make them uncomfortable. Seems fair to me. As the only dissenting judge accurately noted, “the power [Dorrance] implicitly wielded over his players to stifle protest against his behavior was ‘tremendous.’ He ‘controlled everything.'”

The majority judges though whitewashed the whole affair, saying Jennings’ claims of harassment were merely “‘sexual banter,’ ‘vulgar language’ and ‘second-hand harassment’ insufficient to amount to unlawful discrimination.” Yeah, because my soccer coach telling me I’m a slut and that I fuck everyone on campus is HILARIOUS banter.

This of course is coming from someone who almost never gets offended by anything. I am offended by this. More than anything I’m offended by the courts, who are by law required to look at the issue from the side of the victim, and still opted to throw this case out of court. Despicable.

Then, because these judges are so concerned with morality and the welfare of others, in the writing of their decisions, the two judges used asterisks when quoting the sexual profanities Jennings detailed. It seems that while these words weren’t offensive for Jennings to hear, they would be MUCH too offensive for the rest of the world to consider, even in just print form. Thanks judges! I’m glad to know you have the true interests of all good Americans in mind.

[Full Court Press]


Big Baby Cries Whenever He Wants

I always assumed Glen “Big Baby” Davis’ nickname was more of a joke nickname, an ironic one, like calling a fat guy “tiny” or something similar. Turns out it is all too apropos. Here’s a clip from Friday’s game when, after getting called out by Kevin Garnett during a huddle, Davis doesn’t take it too well, sulking off to the end of the bench and throwing a hissy fit. Because that’s how a professional should act. Sigh.


Gilbert Arenas Inspires Love

Gilbert Arenas is one of the most entertaining players in the NBA. His on-court actions alone would be enough for most fans (providing he isn’t in the midst of another rehab session for his knees) but it is off the court where he really becomes amazing. Arenas writes a hilarious blog and generally comes off as a normal 20something guy, albeit one worth significantly more than the rest of us, also think of how much Arenas has had to overcome just being named “Gilbert” that’s no easy burden… So, it is no wonder that he has hordes of rabid fans. Like my friend Chris from the Nuclear Palm comedy group, who is so into Gilbert that he made this delightful music video expressing his desires. It’s nice when people are able to open their hearts and just lay themselves bare. I hope it works out for both of them.

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December 2008