Archive for December 15th, 2008


Old Giants Fans Shouldn’t Show Off

sondraSondra Fortunato has been a fan of the New York Giants for nearly 30 years, coming to the games “with her bodacious physique, rhinestone tiara and skimpy outfits that heat up the frigid stadium.” However, at last week’s Giants/Eagles game, she was escorted out of the stadium because her outfit was considered too risque.

“I love the Giants! I’m a flamboyant dresser and I’m well-endowed,” Sondra told the NY Post.

“Look, I’m a middle-aged woman, I really don’t like to give my age – say I’m middle-aged. But Madonna goes out and she’s got everything hanging out, and she’s middle-aged!”

Yes, it is true that Madonna does those things, on behalf of most men, I’d like to add that we’d like Madonna to stop too.

At last week’s game, Fortunato rolled up in a tiara, fishnets, a Santa outfit, a bathing-suit bottom and high-heeled boots. “Nothing was showing,” she insisted. “You couldn’t even see my underwear. I don’t flash!”

She was told that her bag and signs were not allowed in the stadium, which she knew: In 2006, Sondra was arrested after carrying a sign, but was quickly allowed back in the stadium. She says team brass routinely ignores its no-sign policy – for others.

Then, she was lectured about her clothes.

“They said, ‘Can’t you come to the stadium dressed like a regular person?’ ” she said. “They said there were a lot of kids there.”

She was advised to wear a sweater to games.

“I guess some ladies got jealous and complained,” groused Sondra, who lives in Toms River, NJ.

Yeah, definitely, some ladies were totally jealous and that’s why this happened. I’m just thankful that Andrea Peyser and the NY Post were there to give this abused and discriminated woman a chance to get her story out. I only hope that she is able to emotionally recover from this horrible ordeal. Or that everyone who had to see her in a bathing-suit bottom is able to recover. Also, anyone surprised that she’s from New Jersey? That was probably the most obvious part of the whole article. I hadn’t got past the first sentence when I figured that one out. BTW, when can we just eliminate Jersey from the union?

Oh and just in case that photo wasn’t enough for you, here’s a whole gallery of the terrifying Mrs. Fortunato! After the jump is my favorite one with her and a bemused Jeremy Shockey.

[NY Post]

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Alabama Takes FAIL Up a Level

2597147The FAIL concept has swept across the internet, with iterations such as the Fail Blog, an epic amount of captioned photos, hell, even Slate has an article on it. Now, the University of Alabama Crimson Tide are using “Fail” to intimidate their future football opponents. To celebrate a noted Alabamean and class of ’49 alumni’s generous donation, the university will be officially renaming the visitor’s locker room “The Fail Room” after James M. Fail. Having served three years in the US Navy prior to attending the university, Fail works now in the financial field, serving as chairman of Stone Holdings, Inc, and Bluebonnet Savings Bank.

Now whenever opponents reach the stadium a sign will be awaiting them, putting the word FAIL right in their faces from the get-go. Well done Alabama. Sure your educational facilities are piss-poor at best, and you are generally ranked in the bottom 5 for all the states’ in quality of education, intelligence, etc, but at least, for one brief shining moment, you accomplished something glorious.


Baltimore Loves to Confuse with Words

Someone needs to sit down all the members of the Baltimore Ravens staff and go over some language issues. Much like Ian Roberts’ literal doctor character on Arrested Development, I don’t think the words they have been using mean what the Ravens want them to mean. We already saw the Ravens term their food stands as cowardly and pusillanimous, but say you were watching the football game and a cheerleader for the Ravens caught your eye. You saw her waving her pom-poms and instantly became attracted, to her intelligence obviously, and decided to look her up on the Ravens website. You might just find yourself disappointed, when trying to find your new lady love and instead you come across this:

Now, I love that they have a male team, and that, according to their page on the Ravens website, “The Baltimore Ravens Male Cheerleaders are available for appearances!” But somehow methinks that this is NOT what the vast majority of searches were looking for. On the other hand, look at how buff and intense these guys are. I’d make fun of them more, but frankly, they look tougher than me. Except that little guy on the far left. I could take him.

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December 2008