Archive for December 5th, 2008


A Dream Deferred

With news of OJ Simpson’s sentencing today to a minimum of 9 years in prison, my most secret dream looks to be crushed. Now I don’t think that they’ll ever do another Naked Gun movie. Sigh.


NYPD Inspires Lots of Confidence

Plaxico Burress has been all over the news cycle this week, as everyone wants to, deservedly, pile on him. Now the case is in the sure hands of the NYPD who have been on the case since the instant it happened. If by investigating and handling the situation I mean they only learned about it by seeing the story “scrolling along on ESPN.” That’s a bang-up job there Lou.


Baltimore is Getting Things Done

Baltimore Orioles fans haven’t had much to cheer about since, oh, 1996 or so, but if city councilman James Kraft gets his way the beginning of the games may feature a little extra spirit. That’s because he’s trying to repeal a city ordinance passed in 1916 wherein “The Star Spangled Banner” cannot be sung with any embellishments or altering. Anyone who violates this ordinance could face a $100 fine. It seems that Orioles fans want to have the option of being able to add their lusty “O” yell during the anthem. Considering that the anthem is probably the only moment for Orioles fans to cheer during the entire game, I am fully in favor of this measure.

Among the other outdated ordinances that Kraft is trying to eradicate is a measure passed in 1946 which makes it illegal to sell condoms to anyone under 16.

While I’m glad to see these idiotic ordinances removed from city law, I have to wonder if these are the most important issues in Baltimore these days. Based on my rabid viewing of The Wire, I would say no. According to that show there is a drug problem in Baltimore. Maybe the city council can pay attention to that sometime soon. I mean, I get that these issues are much MUCH more pressing but, you know, if there’s time…


This Has to Hurt SO Much

During last night’s Rutgers/Louisville game freshman Jourdan Brooks broke out a 62 yard run that featured a great mix of speed and power. The rush features Brooks dropping his shoulder and driving through the first level of defenders and then shedding tacklers as he powers down the line until Louisville’s Travis Norton manages to catch up and drag Brooks down. How did Norton manage to stop him? By taking him down by the dreadlocks, ripping one out of Brooks’ head in the process. Awesome.

From the Newark Star-Ledger:

“I’d have to say on a scale of one to 10, an eight. No, nine,” Brooks said describing the pain of having one of his dreadlocks pulled out. “It hurt pretty bad. I never felt any pain like that. But I’m alright.”

Brooks — who rushed for 126 yards on 11 carries and a touchdown — wasn’t upset about losing a strand of hair however. Nor did he say that the tackle will convince him to cut it. What he was most upset about was not getting into the endzone.

“I was upset that he tackled me,” Brooks said. “I wanted to score there.”


Roethlisberger is a “Girl”

The clearest example of the “success” of my fantasy football team can be seen by noticing that in a 2 QB league, I was left starting only one quarterback for multiple weeks. That QB? The lowest ranked field general in the NFL, one Matt Hasselback. Sigh.

So, if I actually cared about fantasy football I’d be really saddened by this, fortunately, I don’t! Thankfully I can instead pay attention to how Hasselback seems to be an actually cool dude, and one with a good sense of humor. Take this story out of Seattle about Hasselback spending the day with his new buddy, sixth grader Andy Co.

Hasselback started the day off by showing up at Co’s house in a limo, playing some Madden–Hasselback’s Seahawks lost there too, to the 49’ers no less–before going to Andy’s school and talking with the students there.

This was all arranged because Co won a contest sponsored by the NFL supporting their “Play 60” campaign to push kids to do 60 minutes of exercise a day.

The assembly was interrupted by a fire drill, but Hasselback took it all in stride and had a good time. During the Q+A a girl asked, “Do you think girls should be allowed to play in the NFL?”

“Girls can play in the NFL. Ben Roethlisberger plays for the Steelers, right?” Hasselbeck quipped, backtracking immediately saying “Joking. Totally joking. That was a joke.”

[King 5]

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December 2008