Forced to sit through another abysmal Mets game — the last time a position player drove a run in was FRIDAY — these fans at least are in good enough spirits to bring a kick-ass sign to the game. Unfortunately for them, they picked a day where Keith Hernandez wasn’t at the game, so they were unable to share their awesome drawing with him. Regardless, SNY picked them up and gave them a brief moment of fame to honor their artistry.
You mess with Keith, you get the horns.
From the Boston Globe:
Five potentially dangerous sex offenders are being added to the Most Wanted Sex Offender list maintained by the Massachusetts State Police and the Sex Offender Registry Board.
The five were identified by State police today as:
Carlos I. Beltran who is wanted by Haverhill police for indecent assault and battery on a person over 14 and failure to register as a sex offender. The 43-year-old is also being sought by Newton Police for violation of an abuse prevention order.
Don’t worry Mets fans, it turns out there are other people with the same name…
Arthur Manning was on his 36 foot yacht Knight Star in a Royal Channel Islands race when he suffered what he termed an “embarrassing mis-judgement.”
“We’d consulted local charts but didn’t take into account the height of the rocks, or whether there was enough water. The boat ground to a halt and we realised we were grounded — we immediately pulled all the sails down and put on our lifejackets. We both feel terrible … nobody likes hitting rocks, so this was very embarrassing.”
The two men on board were rescued by some French sailors and at high tide the ship was freed from its predicament.
They did not win the race.
Scheduled to make a Triple-A start on Thursday, Bartolo Colon is nowhere to be found; this is a small issue for the Chicago White Sox.
I know where he is supposed to be right now. He’s supposed to be in Charlotte, preparing to start Thursday,” White Sox GM Ken Williams said Tuesday, according to the Chicago Tribune. “Efforts to contact his agent have been successful. Their efforts to contact their client have not been so successful.”
I recommend first checking out all the area Old Country buffets…
[ESPN]
When one of my good friends was a senior in high school in suburban Cleveland he played against an eighth-grade LeBron James. During the game, my friend was dunked on by LeBron. Twice. This is Doug’s Revenge.
At LeBron James’ Skills Academy, a basketball camp for high school players something out of the ordinary happened, Jordan Crawford, a junior from Xavier University who was there as an instructor, played in a pickup game against LeBron in which he caught an inbound pass and threw a two-handed dunk down on the King. Freelance photographer Ryan Miller was at the camp videotaping the game, he captured the moment in all it’s glory.
Unfortunately for all of us, LeBron called over Nike Basketball Senior Director Lynn Merritt who was on the sidelines and whispered something in his ear. A moment later, Merritt walked over to Miller and “He just said, ‘We have to take your tape,'” Miller said. “They took it from other guys, too.”
There wasn’t a policy prohibiting filming and Miller had been there all day without an issue until this. “There’s nothing I can think of besides LeBron just not wanting it online,” Miller said. “It’s a good story to tell people, I guess. But then again, I’m kind of pissed. I lost my tape.”
High schooler Dwight Powell who was there described it thusly:
They were split into teams, and LeBron had his own team. In all the college player’s eyes, I could see a little fire burning, with all of them itching to show what they have against arguably the best player in the world. One player in particular definitely left their mark in Jordan Crawford of Xavier. On an inbounds play, The King was a step slow, and Crawford put a two-hand dunk on him.
I was shocked, but nothing will change my opinion of King James. Jordan Crawford on the other hand has some bounce!
In the same way that Arena Football isn’t real football, indoor soccer isn’t REAL soccer; but when you make an awesome move, it’s awesome everywhere. For example, here’s some unknown — to me — Brazilian player helping himself out by serving up a rainbow to himself and then heading it home. Not too shabby.
You’re certainly allowed some preening after making such an incredible shot, but at the same time, I like how he tempers himself, after all, if he were REALLY good he’d be out on a real field…
If you’re an iPhone user and you decide to browse Sports Illustrated’s site you might find that they are offering more than just sports for you. The gents over at SFT Sports noticed that when you load up SI’s page, they don’t just offer Breaking News and Scores, but also, Daily Anal! And really, who doesn’t want that while you’re checking last night’s box scores.
Wait a minute…Daily Anal, box scores, are we sure SI ISN’T running a hardcore smut operation as well?
I know we’re all supposed to be good people and not find amusement in the misfortune of others, but watching Frank Schleck try to take this turn during a leg of the Tour de France is simply too funny to me. Instead of you know, turning, he instead goes for a spill down into a ravine. He gets up and is totally unharmed, albeit a bit embarrassed and most importantly, I keep giggling every time I watch it.
I think that’s the wrong way to make a descent.
Alex Loeb is an anchor at ESPN but because of a logjam of anchors has been relegated to doing recaps of baseball games for ESPN.com. He’s not bad when he’s on, but don’t get too used to it, after all, America would be so deprived without our Chris Berman viewings…Rahm Emanuel is one of the most powerful people in the world, serving as Chief of Staff to President Obama. Emanuel, who once trained to become a professional ballet dancer is also known for his wild temper and filthy mouth. He also served as the inspiration for Bradley Whitford’s character, Josh Lyman on The West Wing, which interestingly enough means the Emanuel family has served as the inspiration for 2 popular characters on big-time TV shows (Rahm’s brother Ari is who Jeremy Piven’s Ari Gold is based off on Entourage.) Most importantly, these two men look alike, are we sure Loeb isn’t a lost Emanuel brother?
Producer of 5 straight 40+ HR seasons, Adam Dunn swings a big bat in the middle of the Washington Nationals lineup. He manages some of the biggest moonshots in the league thanks to his big frame and quick bat, although he also manages to strike out over 100 times a season. Once considered a future cornerstone of the Reds franchise, Dunn has subsequently been traded to the D-Backs last season and this year toils as one of the few bright spots on the mediocrity known as the Nationals. Hilarious on SNL, initially hilarious in his early non-Roxbury movies, Will Ferrell has entertained millions of people with his one-note characters. Still able to draw a crowd even though he’s essentially made the same m0vie 4-5 times in a row now, it’s a shame because he really is a funny guy, he just stopped trying. Hopefully Ferrell doesn’t go the “legitimate” actor route and start doing heavy dramas to show his acting “chops.” More importantly, these two men, as pointed out by Saint Dynamite share quite the resemblance.
Dany Heatley, who forced his way off the Atlanta Thrashers after he was convicted of vehicular manslaughter is in the process of trying to get his way off his current team, the Ottawa Senators, in the process angering pretty much everyone in Ottawa. To make matters worse, when the Senators actually ceded to Heatley’s request and traded him to the Edmonton Oilers, he exercised his no-trade clause and turned down the move.
So, the proprietors of the Ballygiblin’s Restaurant and Pub in downtown Ottawa have added a new item to the menu, thanks to a kitchen staffed with all Senators fans, the Dany Heatley Salad. The special salad, which consists of sour grapes, moldy cheese, rotten eggs, and a whiney oiler and vinegar dressing has one other special element, it costs $4 million and as co-owner Roger Weldon adds, “I should mention that we won’t take the four million on credit cards, cheques, or in installments.”
Before the 2007 season, Homer Bailey was widely considered one of the top 3 prospects in all of minor league baseball; his major league debut was highly anticipated and it was expected that his knee-buckling curve ball and high 90s fastball would lead to years of success. Unfortunately for the Reds (and the multiple fantasy teams I picked him up on), Bailey is still searching for any major league success, although on Friday he pitched 7.1 innings of 3 hit, 2 run ball, so who knows, maybe he’s finally starting to figure it all out. Starting out his career working with Steven Spielberg’s Empire of the Sun, Christian Bale’s Hollywood career really took off after his critically acclaimed performance in The Machinist. Since then, he’s obviously moved onto even larger projects, including playing Batman and John Connors in the new Terminator vehicle. While Bale is British and grew up in Wales, and Bailey is a big-hatted Texan, the similarity in their names is clearly no coincidence, these two men share quite the resemblance, as loyal reader Saint Dynamite pointed out. 
Entering rarefied territory, Dustin Pedroia is only the third player in MLB history to win the Rookie of the Year and follow it up the next season with an MVP. Add in his World Series Ring, Gold Glove, Silver Slugger and cover for Playstation’s 2009 MLB: The Show and you have quite a crowded trophy case for a player only in his third big league season. The heart of the Red Sox team these days, it won’t be surprising to see Pedroia be named captain when the Red Sox move on from Jason Varitek, despite his young age. Jason Mraz produces music of some sort that the kids and such like. I don’t listen to anything but sports radio and haven’t heard new music since the late 90s, so I have no idea. However, new reader Barnyard pointed out this doppelganger and I think it has legs. Make sure you vote in the poll below to voice YOUR opinion.
Every year on the 4th of July the Slanch Report takes a look back at our very first blog entry, one that changed the entire landscape of the world as we unraveled the many many hidden messages within Roland Emmerich’s masterpiece, Independence Day. Join us once more and let’s hope we can learn.
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Despite being panned by critics, audiences flocked to see Roland Emmerich’s newest opus, 10,000 BC, and I think I know why.
In 1996, Emmerich directed one of the finest action movies of all-time, Independence Day. More than just a movie, this film was a prognosticator of the future.
If only we had been listening.
Three different, very clear messages were placed in this movie. The first, seen here, is taken from the moment when Jeff Goldblum’s character explains to the President the idea of “line-of-sight” and how satellites work.
Notice the drawing that Goldblum does, look familiar? Maybe that’s because it looks awfully congruent to THIS!
Eerily similar no?
Now a random image in a movie is one thing, merely coincidence, but only moments later, after convincing the President that the time to leave is now, Goldblum and Pullman exit with others onboard Marine One. As they take off, Goldblum pulls out his handy mid-90’s Mac Powerbook and looks at the countdown timer…
Now its starting to get a little bit more real, you’re starting to feel that tingle up your spine…
Let’s not forget what these “aliens” do in this movie. With a carefully orchestrated attack, the aliens destroy the Capitol Records building, the Empire State Building and the White House instantly and simultaneously.
It is only when all of the world joins together, putting aside its squabbles, putting aside religious and cultural differences to fight a common enemy that there is success. Goldblum and Will Smith ride deep into space and into the alien mothership armed with a nuclear bomb. They set it off and it causes the protective shields to come down off the ships floating around Earth. Earth responds with attacks, Randy Quaid saves the day, flies his F-15 into the most vulnerable part of the alien ship and destroys it almost instantly. But it doesn’t just blow up, Roland Emmerich, that mad German throws one last message out there for those who know how to hear (see) it.
Who saves the world from aliens?
Of course! How could America (and the rest of the dirty world) defeat aliens? Because of Jesus (or Burning Man…)! It only makes sense, just ask the Mormons.
So what conclusions can we take from these messages?
So, these images, none of which have been doctored or photoshopped in any manner prove conclusively that Independence Day warned us, in advance that the Masons were going to be involved in something that would destroy a building. Not only that, but the movie tells us the exact date. The movie showed us the dangers in having a president not listen to those who know. But did President Bush listen? When Jeff Goldblum arrives out of nowhere to warn his President, that president listens, and many–well…some–lives are saved. Ultimately though, the whole world is saved, because one man was able to convince the most powerful, and because the powerful were willing to listen. We didn’t understand the message that Emmerich was presenting us in 1996. But it is not too late now!
The Day After Tomorrow showed us the effects that global warming will have upon us, and particularly New York City, are we heeding the message?
Independence Day warns us about the Masons, warns us about 9/11 and warns us continually about the dangers of aliens to America. These aliens expose their plan to Bill Pullman who realizes that “they’re like locusts. They travel from planet to planet, their whole civilization. After they’ve consumed every natural resource they move on. And we’re next.” Sounds awfully familiar to the refrains of alien workers draining resources from the government and stealing those awesome avocado picking jobs that everyone wants so badly.
In this election season there is no doubt that not only should you see 10,000 BC, but if you care about America and the world, that you need to see this film. Take your kids, your friends, your parents, anyone whom you want to live.
This might be the most important film in the history of the world.
You’ve heard of Cinéma Verité…If only our leaders will listen to the modern day Nostradamus, Roland Emmerich.
The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.
Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!
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