I’m headed out the door to loyal reader Garnold’s wedding. You too can have a Slanch appearance at your wedding, I’m fun, full of vigor and can always charm the parents. Unfortunately, I’ll be driving halfway across the country and the likelihood of any updates, or at least ones during the day are slim. Apologies all around. However, I still love (most of) you and will hold dearly to my heart these moments we share together.
Archive for June, 2009
24
Jun
09
I Suck
Just another follow-up to the Donte Stallworth justice system debacle; Lee Monroe Crider, 40, pleaded no contest and received a 3 year prison sentence for second-degree burglary and grand theft for stealing Lance Armstrong’s custom $10,000 bike. Crider’s co-defendant Dung Hoang Le received a 90 day sentence and three years probation on a misdemeanor charge.
That means that for stealing a BICYCLE, one man will be penalized 3 times as much as Donte Stallworth was for KILLING a PERSON, and the other receives a mere 1065 MORE days in prison than Stallworth will be getting. It must be nice to be able to buy your way out of consequences. I officially give up.
[ESPN]
23
Jun
09
Fake Umpires to Invade NYC
If you’ve seen any Blue Jays games this season you’ve probably seen the two fans who sit directly behind home plate dressed in complete umpiring gear, including face-masks, and call the games along with the real umps. The two men, Tim Williams and Joe Farrell are Blue Jays season ticket holders and work as traders at the Toronto Stock Exchange and acquired all their authentic gear from a chance encounter with two umpires at a steakhouse.
Now, they are taking their act on the road, having followed their Jays to Washington DC for the recent series with the Nationals. They intend on traveling to Oakland for a series in August and during the upcoming series with the Yankees on July 3-5 the Yankees’ own broadcasting arm, YES, is bringing the two down to sit behind home. Amazingly they didn’t have to bump anyone out of the seats, because no one ever sits there anyways. What does it say about the Yankees that in their first season at their new home the only way they can get people to sit behind home in their exorbitantly expensive seats is to GIVE THEM AWAY TO THE OPPOSING TEAMS’ FANS?!!?
[Fanhouse]
23
Jun
09
The X-Games Back in the Day
Apparently, the urge to be extreme was not first brought to America’s consciousness by Doritos and Mountain Dew; these two videos recorded by Thomas Edison in 1899 and 1901 feature bike riders doing some pretty decent moves. Eat your heart out X-Games wannabes, even better, to these bike riders being “stoked” meant tending to a fire.
When the Angels arrived in the World Series in 2002 they did so with two very important rookie pitchers; Francisco Rodriguez, quickly dubbed K-Rod, who powered the bullpen and John Lackey a strong-armed starting pitcher who was given the daunting task of starting game 7 of the World Series. Lackey, and the Angels won, obviously, and since then he has been when healthy, one of the better starting pitchers in the American League. Nick Frost had the good sense to become best friends with Simon Pegg long before Pegg became famous and as Pegg’s acting career took off, he brought Frost along on the journey. Starring in Shaun of the Dead, as Pegg’s best friend Ed, Frost introduced himself to a worldwide audience and stole most of the scenes he was in. Despite being born nearly 5000 miles away from one another, these two gentleman share quite the resemblance as pointed out by loyal reader the roomate.
What do YOU think, make sure to VOTE in the POLL below so that this doppelganger can breathe the fresh air of freedom that is on the permanent Doppelgangers page.
23
Jun
09
Jose Gets Rear-Ended
Decimated by injuries — last night the Mets starting lineup featured 3 members of the team’s Opening Day starting lineup — the last thing the Mets need is to have anything upset the recovery of their walking wounded. Yesterday, while heading to the Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan for a check-up, Jose Reyes and team trainer Ray Ramirez were rear-ended on the RFK Bridge by a firetruck.
While fortunately no one was hurt, what is even more interesting is that the Mets initially had no intention of announcing the accident had happened until last night’s starting pitcher, Tim Redding accidentally told reporters about the incident. Ooops!
“I got here about 10 after 4 and a lot of things were going on,” Redding said. “Apparently a lot of things were going on all over the city. Our shortstop and our trainer, who’s been working his butt off to keep us on the field, got into an accident. Carlos was getting an MRI and being placed on the DL. And people were being moved, brought up and sent all over the place. So it was a whirlwind day.”
The Mets then were forced to issue a statement and explain what happened so as to not cause even MORE panic amongst their fans. In the meantime, from now on Jose Reyes should be transported in a truck filled with mattresses.
[NJ.com]
23
Jun
09
That’s a Talented Shot
In 8th grade, gym class is always full of awkwardness, if you need to change into gym clothes theres the whole locker room ordeal, then once in class there’s the whole being good or bad at sports thing, plus everyone is at the height of their own awkwardness. All in all, it’s a shit-show. For one shining moment though, Aaron Shutway, an 8th grader at Brecksville-Broadview Middle School in Broadview Heights, Ohio brushed past the awkwardness that is prepubescence and captured one moment of glory. If he were in high school he might get laid for such an act, instead, he might get an awkward cheek kiss later instead. Sweet!
23
Jun
09
Now This is Facial Hair
Remember the World Beard and Mustache Championships that happened in late May up in Anchorage, Alaska? Well, I’ve been remiss in not updating you loyal readers with some of the winners at the competition. You might recall that one avid bearder, Phil Olsen had created a group called Beard Team USA and the team actually placed very well in the competition with members winning multiple categories, including placing first and second in the Overall Beard competition, which is the biggest and most prestigious category. Now, here are some of the finest specimens from Beard Team USA starting with David Traver whose braided awesomeness took home 1st place in the Full Beard Freestyle and took home the Overall Champion title as well. For more information about the competition, the competitors and Beard Team USA and plenty more photos, check out their website by clicking here.
Jordy Smith, a 21 year old South African pro surfer was off the coast of Indonesia when he pulled off a that GrindTV.com called “the most high-performance maneuver ever executed on a wave”. The move itself is technically called a Rodeo Flip but I’m sure you already know that. I think the most important thing we can agree on is that surfers (and skaters) are some of the most articulate people in the world and I only wish that more of them were a part of our governments and think tanks.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
[Yahoo!]
22
Jun
09
Working in the Pits is the Pits
Indy car cutie Danica Patrick during a practice run over the weekend in Iowa ran into one of her pit crew members, coming to close to the way and knocking him over. Fortunately, she went over afterwards and it looks like lectured him on why he was wrong. So that’s got to feel good.
Vodpod videos no longer available.[Fan IQ]
Here’s a scream-filled fight video from the game yesterday between the Marlins and Yankees down in friendly Florida. Some father, along with his young daughter intends to take in the game and instead has some crazed other fan attack him. Now, obviously, something was said earlier that set this all off prior to the video rolling but at least in the video it’s clear who was the aggressor. I will say the attacker makes a pretty crazy leap towards the dad, and the guy who is filming it makes a nice understatement when he turns the camera on himself and says “Holy shit!”
Happy Father’s Day!
22
Jun
09
I Want My Own $40 Million TV
It was only a matter of time before someone utilized the brand-new $40 million, 180 by 72 foot HD screen at the new Dallas Cowboys stadium for something proper, like a rousing game of Gears of War. Of course, when you think of this kind of fun, you automatically go to those rabble rousers, The Jonas Brothers, or more accurately, Steve Fontane, who directs their videos. Either way, it seems like the perfect use for some downtime and such a gigantic screen. Also, it looks awfully fun.
[Engadget]
After the jump check out some video of Steve playing. Continue reading ‘I Want My Own $40 Million TV’
The Slanch Report 
Recent Comments