Archive for November, 2008

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12
Nov
08

Roddick’s Bidder Gets Raw Deal on Seeing His Dick

By slanch 5 Comments
Categories: Hot Women, Random and Tennis
Tags: , , , ,

Andy Roddick raised much money for Elton John’s AIDS charities when he offered to conduct an hour tennis lesson in the nude, with the final result coming out to $15,000. Unfortunately, Roddick’s wet-blanket super hot fiancé, model Brooklyn Decker was none too pleased. Friends of hers told Radar that “She is in awe that Andy raised so much for this cause but there’s no way she’s going to let him go through with this.” What a joneser!

Andy Roddick showing how much he is totally whipped posted on his website soon after the auction, “Ok, first and foremost I am not gonna be playing naked tennis ha ha… it was kind of said in jest and the lady who bid on it was really cool afterward.”

Then again, if this were my fiancée I’d listen to whatever she said…

12
Nov
08

Lord of the Ring

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Other Sports and Random
Tags: , , ,

As if living in Toledo Ohio wasn’t bad enough, now comes this sad tale from the Glass City Boxing gym. It seems that sometime on Sunday sneakers snuck into the gym and managed to steal the actual ring, posts and all. Now what someone is doing with an entire ring set-up is not clear to me, nor the motives behind such a maneuver, but I am able to applaud their panache. Tom Urbina, the gym’s trainer was less excited by the theft saying that upcoming boxing shows may have to be canceled. Meanwhile, some dude’s basement just became a whole lot cooler.

12
Nov
08

Mass Goes Gay For Gay Games

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Boston, Other Sports and Random
Tags: , ,

One of the first states to legalize gay marriage, Massachusetts has long been a gay-friendly locale and so some city businesses are organizing a bid for the 2014 Gay Games. The games, held every four years attract nearly 12,000 athletes and millions of dollars for hosting cities. Boston’s bid is not being done by the city itself but by private businesses who are responsible for securing the appropriate athletic facilities.

“It’s like a march on Washington with very little politics and much more fun,” Gay Games spokesman Kelly Stevens said of the event, which has been held globally every four years since 1982.

You don’t even have to be gay, he said, just 18 or older.

“It’s completely amateur,” Stevens said. “We allow any level of participant in.”

Finally! I can get that gold medal that I’ve always dreamed about! Finally my abilities as a professional Wiithlete can be recognized on the big stage. And think of all the fun new friends I could make!

However, the single best part of this article from the Boston Herald is the accompanying photograph. Someone at the conservative leaning Herald must have really enjoyed this photo and caption…

heraldphotoOf course the Shinnecock dominates at the Gay Games. I’d be disappointed if he WASN’T the big winner.

12
Nov
08

Nets Are GIVING Tickets Away

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Basketball
Tags: , ,

Continuing along the theme of the miserable economy and what sports franchises are doing to cope, the New Jersey Nets have come up with an interesting way to try and get some fans in the door. Fans who are unemployed and submit their resumes to the Nets Job Bank will receive up to 4 free tickets and access to a Nets job fair on November 22 in their arena with the team’s corporate sponsors.

“Hopefully [the tired and miserable will] come out and experience the Nets, and then when times get better they’ll invest in us, because we invested in them,” team president Brett Yormark said. “No other team is doing that, and I think it’s the appropriate thing to do, because times are tough.”

While I applaud the creativity of the Nets’ marketing staff there still exists one problem with this deal, you are forced to go see a Nets game. Maybe they’ll play a really good team…Of course you know that the free tickets will be for some awful team, like the Knicks…

[NJ.com]

12
Nov
08

Wow the Economy is REALLY Bad

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Baseball and Boston
Tags: , , ,

The clearest sign that the current economic crisis is expected to continue for quite a while; the Boston Red Sox for the first time in 14 years have NOT raised their ticket prices for next season. “As stewards of this great franchise, John, Larry and I hold our positions as a kind of public trust, and from that perspective, a freeze in ticket prices for the 2009 season is both fair and appropriate for the times and economic conditions,” said Red Sox chairman Tom Werner said in a press release.

John Henry is a billionaire financial genius, if he doesn’t think that the market will support a ticket increase on a team that has set the record for consecutive sell-outs and where people will gladly sell their childen in order to get season tickets then I am very VERY concerned. Our country’s economy is going to completely collapse. Get out now!

11
Nov
08

Way to Go BBWAA

By slanch 2 Comments
Categories: Baseball and Douches
Tags: , , , , ,

I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed this, the Baseball Writers Association of America, the people who get to vote on awards like MVP, Cy Young, Rookie of the Year and the Hall of Fame, the people who are supposed to be the most knowledgeable and informed about the game are apparently retarded. That’s the only conclusion I can come to. While looking over the results for yesterday’s NL Rookie of the Year something struck my attention. The order of the final ballot went this way:

  1. Geovany Soto
  2. Joey Votto
  3. Jair Jurrgens
  4. Edinson Volquez

Now 1-3 I have zero compunctions with, it is that fourth place guy that bothers me. You see the rules for eligibility for the RoY award state that a player who has pitched 50 innings in the big leagues previously is no longer considered a rookie and thus, ineligible for the award. So let’s take a trip back in time courtesy of Baseball Reference shall we.

The year was 2005 and Edinson Volquez was still a Texas Ranger, in a late season call-up he pitched in 12 2/3 innings, compiling an 0-4 record and an ERA of 14.21, so OK, he wasn’t ready for the big time yet. In 2006 he received another late season call-up, this time pitching 33 1/3 innings en route to a 1-6 record with an ERA of 7.29. Hey at least he was improving…2007 came and Volquez once more got his taste of the majors with yet another late season call-up. This time he pitched 34 innings with an ERA of 4.50 and a record of 2-1. So let’s do a little math here, stick with me, I know it’s early.

  • 12 2/3
  • 33 1/3
  • 34

Hmm…that equals 80 innings! What was that eligibility requirement? Oh yeah, 50 innings. So again, let me get the ol’ calculator out…Oh, wow, that’s a 30 inning difference! In fact, before he ever threw a pitch for the Cincinnati Reds, Volquez was NOT a rookie. He pitched the entire season as NOT a rookie. He went to the All-Star game, NOT AS A ROOKIE.

Clearly though, the people who are supposed to be responsible to the history of the game, the group of people who don’t think Cal Ripken is a unanimous Hall of Famer, the people who thought Luis Apricio WAS a Hall of Famer, they definitely know what’s going on.

What an embarrassment. Even MLB.com was ashamed, in their writeup of the awards they made sure to mention, “Volquez’s presence on that list is definitely unique: No longer a rookie, the pitcher was mistakenly placed on the ballot and received three votes for second, thus there was an obligation to include him in the final results.” Continue reading ‘Way to Go BBWAA’

11
Nov
08

Mets Finally Destroy Bullpen

By slanch 4 Comments
Categories: Baseball
Tags: , ,

In some of the best possible news for Mets fans, the organization yesterday completely demolished their bullpen. The weak point of the team this past season; the likely reason why Johan Santana won’t win a Cy Young award later today, the prime reason why for the second year in a row the team collapsed at the end of the season is thankfully no more. Unfortunately the destruction will not last, and the changes will not be too significant, but at least the benches and mounds’ll be new… Look for next year’s bullpen to be full of Latin players.

10
Nov
08

Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Football
Tags: , , ,

Here is Minnesota Vikings return man Charles Gordon during yesterday’s game getting munched after receiving a punt. Pay close attention to the ankles. Yeowch!

07
Nov
08

What is Offsides?

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Pop Culture and Soccer
Tags: ,

This video of John Cleese explaining offsides isn’t hilarious, but it’s amusing and frankly, I like John Cleese a LOT and so I’m putting it up. Hey, it’s my blog.

07
Nov
08

Reebok Swoops in on Nike’s Miscue

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Other Sports
Tags: , , ,

I bet you thought the story of Arien O’Connell, the school teacher who won but didn’t win, but then became “a” winner of the Nike Women’s Marathon in San Francisco was over, but guess what, it ain’t! Seeing how their rival company kept botching the story, and seeing an opportunity to make a little publicity of their own, Reebok stepped in yesterday and surprised O’Connell at her school presenting her with a special trophy, free shoes every month for a year, t-shirts for all her students and a $2,500 donation to her school. And just to stick it in Nike’s ass a little more, the inscription on the trophy read: “Winner and Heroine of Non-Elite Runners Everywhere.” Nicely done Reebok, you do a good thing and you get to piss off Nike. Well played.

07
Nov
08

Rangers Show How Classless They Are

By slanch 1 Comment
Categories: Douches and Hockey
Tags: , , ,

Showing that they can be total capital “d” Douches, the New York Rangers are seeking the 17th pick in this year’s draft as compensation for not being able to sign their 2006 first round choice, also the 17th pick. The reason they were unable to sign Alexei Cherepanov? He’s the player who was tragically killed during an Russian hockey league game.

As Rangers assistant GM Cam Hope told the NY Post:

The question is with the one parenthetical phrase in Article 8.3 (b) that refers compensation for an unsigned first-round draft pick who is ‘… again eligible for the Entry Draft or becomes an Unrestricted Free Agent …’ That language was inserted to clarify that a team would be owed a compensatory pick even if they were to re-draft that player or sign him as a free agent.

It seems now as if that phrase is unintentionally precluding the deceased from being included as eligible for compensation. We understand that this is a sensitive issue, but with all due respect to Alexei’s family and his memory, he is technically eligible to be drafted again next year.

We are not attempting to capitalize on a tragedy, but there would be no question regarding the Rangers’ right to a compensatory pick if Cherepanov had been revived and survived the incident and were on life support.

If an unsigned player sustained a massive injury on or off the ice, the drafting team would get a compensatory pick,” Hope said. “We believe that the letter of the law applies in this case, but even if there is a disagreement on that, it’s clear that the spirit of the law applies.

Classy guys. SUPER Classy. This would be like the Celtics seeking a compensatory pick, in this year’s draft for Len Bias’ death. Sure, it’s only been 20 years, but c’mon, we’re owed the second pick in the draft!

I get that the Rangers are upset, sure, but c’mon this is just pathetic. Fuck you Glen Sather. Cherepanov’s death was unfortunate and sad, but don’t try and milk it to get something else, that’s just sick.

07
Nov
08

It’s All Academic

By slanch Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome and Football
Tags: , , , ,

Here’s something you never hear in college sports, an athlete choosing academics over sports. Myron Rolle, a safety on FSU’s defense won’t be playing in Saturday’s game against Maryland, which could decide the ACC’s Atlantic Division because he has an interview in Birmingham, Alabama to become a Rhodes Scholar. Rolle, who has a GPA of 3.75 and wants to be a medical anthropologist (someone likes watching Bones!) thought that this situation might come up, but for him, there was no hesitation, “this is a priority to me and my family. This is something really special.”

FSU officials are being especially supportive of Rolle, even trying to switch the game time to an evening game so that, with a private plane he might be able to leave Birmingham and possibly make the game’s second half and still play. The school received a waiver from the NCAA for the private plane, with Athletic Director Randy Spetman saying, “It’s not a competitive advantage or disadvantage for the player. This is what the NCAA is here for, to help the student-athlete excel in both the classroom and on the athletic field.”

For once, that’s actually true. I may hate college sports, but now I officially like Myron Rolle. Go get ’em!

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