Archive for November 3rd, 2008

03
Nov
08

Sometimes It’s Good to Be a Horse

"Screw all you poor people, I'm rich bitch!"

Times are hard around the country as the economic downturn continues to pummel the average citizens. Fortunately, times aren’t hard for everyone. Take for instance Mike Moreno of Southern Equine Stables who thought nothing about spending a record setting $14 million dollars on a broodmare at auction. Even more impressive, the bidding lasted all of 26 seconds! Take that everyone who got their home foreclosed upon!

The mare in question, Better Than Honour, is the only mare in racing history to birth two Belmont Stakes winners, Jazil who won in 2006 and then Rags to Riches who won it the following year. Not too bad I suppose, but worth $14 million? That’s one very expensive vagina. The answer however, was obvious to Moreno, who already owned 70 percent of the mare, “She’s the best mare in the world. … She’s a Picasso,” Moreno said. “You can’t sell a mare like this.”

03
Nov
08

Don’t Say What You See…Don’t Say What You See…

Kenny Albert, during yesterday’s Titans/Packers duel seems to have gotten a bit distracted by the Titans’ cheerleaders while coming back from commercial. Sure, he calls the Packers the “Knockers” because he sees cheerleader boobs and that takes over his brain, I think we can all understand that. However, what is indefensible to me is who uses the word “knockers” any more? I mean c’mon there are THOUSANDS of euphemistic words to express sweater puppies, but Albert goes with an antiquated boring old man phrase. What is this, 1954? Stretch yourself Kenny, you’re a professional talker, you can do better than that!

[The Critical Fanatic]

03
Nov
08

Raiders Haven’t Figured Out Scoring Yet

In an effort to remind his players of the joy of scoring a touchdown, interim Raiders head coach Tom Cable had the team practice touchdown celebrations this past week, in anticipation of their game against the Atlanta Falcons. Cable has been frustrated by seeing his team coming off the field with too many field goals and not enough TDs and so thought this might remind his players of why they are on the field.

“Now we do a thing in practice, where guys run to the end zone,” quarterback JaMarcus Russell said. “Or we make it in the end zone, as far as the offense, [we] congratulate those guys, get used to doing it. The more you get used to it, the more you’ll be better with it on the field, as a team.”

The Raiders, who have scored only 1 first half touchdown all season, a 63 yard pass were hoping that this practice technique would help rid them of their field goal-itis. Good news! It worked! The Raiders did not kick a single field goal in this week’s game.

They also didn’t score a single point as the Atlanta Falcons shut them out 24-0. Looks like all that practicing didn’t help. Now I’m not football coaching expert, (though then again, neither is Tom Cable) but I feel like you end up getting more points if you practice the actual act of GETTING the points, rather than the post-points celebration. But heck, what do I know…




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