Archive for June 17th, 2008

17
Jun
08

The Celtics MUST Win Tonight

Tonight is game 6 in the NBA finals, the Celtics are vying for their 17th banner; the universe has arranged itself appropriately for this exact moment. Today’s date? 6/17. Game 6, 17th banner. It will happen. It HAS to happen!

76667924NB002_Celtics

Also today would have been Doc Rivers’ father’s birthday who passed away in November. If you’re a gambler, bet it all on the Celts tonight, it’s in the bag.
LET’S GO CELTICS! BEAT LA!

17
Jun
08

Is It OK to Get Your Ass Kicked by a 5 Year Old?

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I took karate at the YMCA so I know that I’m pretty damn tough, but watching this video of a 5 year old boxer makes me glad that I’m not in the ring with him. First off, his nickname is Pretty Boy Bam Bam, that’s awesome! He definitely came up with that one on his own. Second off, listen to the crack when he’s throwing those punches, I’d get beat up and then I’d have to go hide in the mountains in Nepal to try and escape the embarrassment. But even the monks up there would be like “There is the loser who got beat up by a 5 year old,” and then they’d make me get all the firewood.

There’s no escape.

17
Jun
08

Marketing Can be Terrifying

Here’s a marketing campaign that ESPN has apparently been using, I’m guessing to advertisers but I don’t know for certain, if anyone out there does, please let me know.

Click the image to see it larger.

Regardless, I like the idea that ESPN gets you closer, but those eyeballs are terrifying and the packaging even more so. If I opened that box and a giant eyeball was staring back at me, I’d freak out. Did one of my friends get so high that he took his own eyes out? Is it a warning from the Mafia because of that shipment of flat screen TVs I stole from them? Is that sailor I “accidentally” killed with a tire iron on spring break sending me message?

Whatever, I want the baseball.

[Scaryideas.com]

17
Jun
08

President Bush Has a Basketball Jones

President Bush was in Belfast the other day and showed off his basketball prowess which is roughly equivalent to his ability as a world leader. Check out how he tosses the ball to the kids, that’s some coordination there… sigh, only 6 more months. 6 more months…

17
Jun
08

Say Goodnight Sweet Prince

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am obviously satisfied that the Mets finally fired Willie Randolph, but could that franchise look any more dysfunctional after the manner in which they actually let him go? The organization sent out emails at 3:11 am letting media outlets know that Willie Randolph, Rick Peterson and Tom Nieto were all axed. There has to be a better way to have handled this. Do you think that back at the hotel, Omar hid in Willie’s closet and then smothered him with a pillow when he laid down to sleep?

But regardless, Willie, a seemingly classy guy was simply unable to corral this team and make them perform the way they were supposed to. Two years ago they were a base hit away from the World Series, since then, they have gone 122 – 109 which is simply not good enough. They have a $139 million payroll and were expected to be the best team in the NL. As reader Youppi pointed out yesterday, it is not Willie’s fault that players got hurt or have completely slowed down (cough, Delgado) but it is his responsibility to get the team to perform no matter what. This team goes the way Jose Reyes goes, and he hasn’t been going. The only player whom Willie’s constant mismanaging didn’t seem to affect was David Wright. Every few games there were moves that Willie would make that would be questionable. Whether it was even allowing Fernando Tatis to play or the manner he handled the bullpen, it just seemed like Willie was grasping at straws and didn’t have a plan.

I’m not convinced that Jerry Manuel is going to be a long-term answer, but any change is good at this point. What I’m most interested to see is who they hire for pitching coach. Leo Mazzone is still unemployed and, up until his less-than-successful tenure in Baltimore was considered the best pitching coach in the game. Was he product of the fantastic Braves pitchers, or is he really that good? Someone needs to figure out how to make Oliver Perez throw strikes, and Mazzone might just be that guy. If Perez, Mike Pelfrey and John Maine can’t be consistent this team should start booking their October vacations now.

The fact that Omar Minaya handled this situation so poorly though, is just one more example of why Omar Minaya ALSO needs to be handed his walking papers. That he could have done it at the worst possible time, and after forcing the coaches to fly across the country only to get fired in the middle of the night. Completely classless. Omar has managed to arrange a team that is inconsistent, a bench that is unproductive, the highest paid players (again besides David Wright) are all under performing. Ridiculous moves like the signing of Luis Castillo are simply inexcusable. WHY DO YOU SIGN A SECOND BASEMAN WITH BAD KNEES WHOSE GAME IS BASED ON SPEED TO A 4 YEAR CONTRACT IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE HAS KNEE SURGERY!?!?!?!?! Is that not the most idiotic move possible? Now the team is hamstrung at the position. The rotation is struggling, the bullpen is a rollercoaster, Delgado is finished, Beltran (last night excepted) has been not close to what he is supposed to be, Pedro has had one good year. There are very few moves that Minaya has made that have panned out and it is time that he go to. Let’s see if the Wilpons have the brains to do it.

Day one of a new Mets era starts today. Let’s hope it goes well…

17
Jun
08

Monty Doppelganger

Cole Hamels, or as we like to call him, Hole Camels, is one of the most dominant young starters in the game right now, his only challenge it seems is staying healthy, otherwise he might go on to become a several time Cy Young winner. When Monty Python appeared sketch comedy had never seen anything like them, and no one has ever truly come close to the level of genius they produced. Arguably the biggest individual star to come out of Python was John Cleese, who went on to write and star in one of my favorite movies, A Fish Called Wanda. While watching the Red Sox/Phillies game, eagle-eyed reader, The roomate noticed the similarity between the two men, what do you think? For this and the many other doppelgangers my readers and I have spotted, go here. And please, do send me your own as you notice them, and I’ll get them up right away. Also, please make sure to vote in the poll down below!

hamelscleese




Follow The Slanch Report

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 19 other subscribers

Sign Our Petition!

The Slanch Report has started an online petition asking the MLB Network to air the Dock Ellis no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970 against the San Diego Padres. The moment was a seminal piece of baseball history and is certainly worthy of being rerun.

Please join us in this cause and sign the petition below so we can all share in this special and fantastic moment of baseball history. THANKS!
SIGN THE PETITION HERE! AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND PASS THIS ALONG!

June 2008
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  

Categories