Nearly free of the Chicago Cubs after their sale, the Chicago Tribune can finally see the team in a light-hearted manner. Or at least one clever editor in the Birth Announcements section can where this notice was slipped in:
Suki and Justa Crapi Yeare of Chicago’s north side are proud to announce the birth of our daughter, Waitle Nex, born Thursday, August 20th in Los Angeles. The entire Yeare family eagerly awaits her arrival back in Chicago. The first Waitle Nex Yeare was born in Chicago in 1909. It’s too bad great-great-grandma isn’t around to see her namesake.
Baby Waitle was born several weeks premature but is somehow perfectly healthy. Doctors tell us that the chip on Waitle’s shoulder will wear down over the winter and she will be 100% healthy by spring. You should see how cute she looks with the albatross necklace around her neck.
Hey, what’s a century of failure between friends? Don’t worry Cubbies fans, now you have NEX YEARE on your side.
The Slanch Report 
Finally!! One of those GOOD quirky names.
At least they’re not trying to jinx it. They could’ve named the baby “Thisses Owa”