Posts Tagged ‘Michael Phelps


Phelps’ Image is Bad, Bring in a Sheen!

You might have heard that Michael Phelps was captured in a picture smoking a bong, I recall hearing something about it, but it got mostly ignored by the mainstream media. Well, the aftershocks of that photo continue to reverberate, first he lost his Kellogg’s cereal sponsorship deal and now, he has been taken off three motivational speaking events, presumably because he is no longer inspirational as a one-time pot smoker.

The company organizing the seminars, “Power Within” seems to have conflicted thoughts about the whole thing seeing as Phelps is still on to be a part of an event called “Get Motivated!” He will be appearing via satellite with other luminaries such as Rudy Guiliani, Steve Forbes and Colin Powell.

However, Phelps has been asked to not appear at three other events, 2 in Canada and one at Radio City Music Hall in New York.

Don’t worry though, Phelps, who blazed his way to a record 8 Olympic gold medals this past summer was replaced for the Canadian events with a sober, responsible adult, Martin Sheen. Now, don’t get me wrong, if President Bartlett were to show up THAT is a big coup for the seminar, but Martin Sheen–who has been sober reportedly for about 19 years and is the proud papa of Charlie Sheen who is a womanizing, whore-visiting former addict who has OD’d before–may not be the most obvious about-face.



What Else is There to Do in Milwaukee?

Minor league sports always have the best promotions, like this one from the Milwaukee Admirals of the American Hockey League who are presenting a “Don’t Be Like Mike” night on February 19.

Any graduate of the DARE program can get into the game for $2 by bringing their graduation certificate to the Admirals’ office or the Bradley Center box office.

Also, anyone with the name Michael, Phelps, Mary Jane, Cheech, Chong, Weed – or Wied – can get a $2 ticket as well. Those who have won an Olympic gold medal also get the discount.

The Admirals will give away a weed wacker signed by the team as well.

If Milwaukee scores with 4:20 left on the clock in any period, one fan will win a season ticket for next season.

The team also is providing a document shredder at the DigiCopy information table outside Section 225 “so fans can bring any embarrassing or incriminating photo to be destroyed,” according to a news release.

Road TRIP!

[JSOnline via The Big Lead]


OMG, A 23 Year Old Smoked Weed! Everyone Panic!


Eager to get his name in the news, fresh off the small-sized hooplah regarding Michael Phelps smoking a bong, Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott announced that he wants to prosecute Phelps despite the police department saying they had no interest in pressing charges.

“This case is no different than any other case,” Lott said Monday. “This one might be a lot easier since we have photographs of someone using drugs and a partial confession. It’s a relatively easy case once we can determine where the crime occurred.”

Great, but um, what’s the pressing issue on this “crime”? Please remind me of the victims who are demanding justice. Also, is it the intention of Lott to arrest everyone smoking weed in the area of the University of South Carolina?

The charges which Lott would most likely be charging Phelps is possession of marijuana, a misdemeanor, punishable by up to 30 days in jail or a $570 fine, plus court costs. Of course, you’d have to prove that he has possession, and I feel fairly certain that the weed in question is no longer available, so it seems like this case would be built on a pretty shaky foundation.

Of course, no one else cares, not the police department, not Phelps’ sponsors, not the University of South Carolina, no one really cares AT ALL except Lott, who seems to be mortally offended that a 23 year old smoked some weed one night in September.

That’s some good police work Leon…

However, the real outrage is that Phelps was using a Roor bong, I mean, sure, German craftmanship is nice, but they are so utilitarian, where’s the artful design, the heady glass marbles and colors? I’ll take a Jerome Baker any day over a boring old Roor.

[The State]


A Office Giant’s Olympian Doppelganger

Whilst watching the Giants game yesterday and seeing a picture of Eli Manning, one of my roommates noticed the uncanny resemblance that Eli Manning shares with John Krasinski of The Office and Michael Phelps. I couldn’t agree more. Even more alike is the sheer awkwardness that both Phelps and Manning produce whenever they speak in person, when it always seems both are speaking in public for the first time ever. Make sure that you vote in the poll below to cast your opinion to see if this doppelganger pairing can join the illustrious ranks of the other doppelgangers that are gathered together here.



Michael Phelps Scores Once More

What, you thought now that the Olympics were long past that you would no longer be haunted by the awkward grin of Michael Phelps? Nope! He’s America’s darling, and he’s apparently moved on from my future g/f Stephanie Rice to his own new darling, Nicole Johnson a runner-up for Miss California. Whateves, I’m still totally cooler than him…

[Mojo in the Morning]


SNL Taps Personality Challenged Athlete for Season Opener

Michael Phelps, star of awkward television interviews throughout the Olympics, not to mention the INCREDIBLY awkward London segment of the Beijing closing ceremonies has been chosen to host the 34th season opener of Saturday Night Live. I can see the desire on SNL’s part, after all, Phelps is an incredible global phenomena right now and his presence should guarantee a nice audience from him alone. That said, he’s never shown, in any of his interviews, any sort of humorous abilities, or really much of a personality, so the SNL writers are going to have quite the journey ahead of them. I hope against hope that he decides to regrow this amazing facial hair for the show.

However, I am also incredibly distraught at the news that Phelps and my dream swimmer, Australian Stephanie Rice, who won 3 gold medals of her own, hooked up at the Olympics. The story came out while I was out in the woods and so I only just saw it today. Sure he’s a great swimmer and everything, but I thought she and I were going to have something really special. We still can, but it won’t ever be the same…

Also, one more reason to watch the SNL premier will be the debut of one of the funniest and nicest people I have ever known, SNL’s newest cast member and fellow improviser, Bobby Moynihan.

For some of the best athlete hosted sketches on SNL ever, check out this link from Fan IQ.


See Anything You Like Lebron?

The fellas over at The Big Lead came up with this great photo of the US men’s basketball team taking some time off to watch Michael Phelps go for gold medals number 10 and 11. Lebron doesn’t seem to be paying too much attention to the action on the water though, seemingly distracted by something else… It’s nice to see that even after being an international superstar and having had NBA groupies hanging off him for years that Lebron maintains a healthy appetite. He truly is a phenomenal athlete.

In other news the Olympics organizers have stocked 100,000 condoms in preparation, the US basketball team has so far gone through 64,453. There are 11 days to go.

Continue reading ‘See Anything You Like Lebron?’

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January 2023