Posts Tagged ‘Cristiano Ronaldo


Wizard Puts a Curse on Ronaldo

cristiano-ronaldo-shirt-off-_5According to a letter obtained by the Spanish newspaper El Mundo, a man claiming to be a wizard has placed a curse on Real Madrid superstar Cristiano Ronaldo. The sorcerer, explains that he is not anti-Real Madrid but that he’s a professional and has been paid by a woman who is famous and knows Ronaldo personally. The curse is not necessarily supposed to seriously injure Ronaldo — although that’s what the woman wanted — but should cause him to play poorly.

The wizard, who is hiding his identity claims to have already begun the spiritual process, in his “lab” he has photos of Ronaldo and he applies his “arts” on them.

As well, the wizard won’t reveal who hired him to put this curse on Ronaldo in the first place, saying, “I cannot say it because I am a mixture of priest and doctor, and have to respect the confidentiality of my client.”

The team is ignoring the notice, saying that they get crazy letters like this all the time. The same wizard sent similarly threatening letters to the team in 2003 and 2006 — both seasons subsequently turned disastrous.

Ronaldo, quite the Lothario has wracked up an impressive list of women across the continent and so it is really anyone’s guess as to who might have hired this wizard in the first place.

As Congreve wrote, “Heav’n has no rage like love to hatred turn’d/Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.”

[El Mundo via The Big Lead]


The Girls Don’t Like Ronaldo’s Short Shorts

Cristiano Ronaldo has had his off-season foibles, first there was the reports about his newest girlfriend actually being a hooker, albeit a high-priced one, (the man has class after all) and now a Colombian soap actress is saying she rejected his advances because he came off as gay.

 Elisa Sanchez (left) said she met Ronaldo over the summer while he was vacationing in LA, but when he winked at her her heart did not swoon. “He was really red, like he had been laying out in the sun too long, and kept putting oil on himself all the time,’ she recalled to The Sun. “He was wearing these tiny little swimming pants. The way he was preening himself was hilarious. I had absolutely no idea who he was — and we were all convinced he was gay. He winked at me and tried to chat me up but I don’t speak English well. So I just said “Sorry” and walked away.”

What a burn for Ronaldo, that’s just really gotta eat at his ass. I simply can’t understand why everyone thinks he’s gay, I mean, I see a picture like this and it just screams “I love chicks.”


Cristiano Ronaldo and the Hooker With a Golden Heart

Being one of the best soccer players in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo of Manchester United is able to attract a multitude of extremely attractive women like Nereida Gallardo to his bedside. So, it is interesting to read this report from the News of the World where they uncover that his latest ladyfriend, a Brazilian woman named Fernanda turns out to also be a $3,600 call girl in London. I highly recommend reading the full article as it is full of hilarious moments, and also some NSFW images, so be warned.

After receiving a tip from a high-class madame, the News booked an appointment with the busty Brazilian beauty. During the two meetings that the paper booked she:

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October 2022