Funny Car driver Scott Kalitta was killed this weekend during a qualifying race in New Jersey. The 46 year old Kalitta was a two-time former champion with 18 career wins. His Toyota Solara was going about 300 mph when it started to burst into flames and then crashed into a wall. His death is obviously totally unfortunate, but I won’t call it tragic; the drivers all know the risks when they get into their cars. The Boston Globe and the AP got an amazing shot of the car as it burst into flames, because it is essentially the picture of Kalitta’s unfortunate demise, I’m posting it below the jump for those of you who don’t want to see it. It isn’t graphic in any manner besides there being a car/man totally engulfed in flames, but if you’re interested/equally ghoulish, check it out, it is a remarkable picture.
Archive Page 167
An Amazingly Horrific Picture
Other than being a Red Sox fan, by far the cutest girl baseball fans to me are Cubs fans. Maybe it’s the years of losing that, as a Red Sox fan I can understand, or maybe it’s the blue pinstripes, but girl Cub fans are totally cute. Case in point:
Now, these girls below aren’t especially cute, but they are Cubs fans and they are having a great time at the game, so why not say, “Hey, way to go!” I mean, they went to all the trouble to get drunk at the game, the least I can do is post them up on the internet for everyone else to see. Right?
RIP George Carlin
Growing up one of my favorite past times was to lay back on my bed and listen to George Carlin cds. I listened to them all so much that I had the routines memorized. It didn’t matter that I knew what was coming next, he never ceased to make me laugh. Combined with Kurt Vonnegut, Carlin helped influence me to no end in the way I see the world and the way I write. Carlin inspired me to want to be funny and entertain people and while I don’t normally care about celebrity deaths, this one joneses me out to no end.
After entering the hospital yesterday complaining of heart pain, Carlin, 71, died last night due to heart failure.
No comedian can ever match the level of his accomplishments or influence. Where Lenny Bruce started–and inspired Carlin–George picked up that mantle and started swinging at the world around him. Even recently his wit and genius for wordcraft and word play was still amazing.
I know I for one will sorely miss his gravely voice. Thanks for all the laughs George, they’ll keep coming long after today.
Everyone else I know is posting the Baseball/Football routine, but one of my favorite bits is one from the early 60s from the Killer Carlin album, take a listen here, you’ll definitely enjoy it.
http://boomp3.com/listen/byf2go31t_8/war-picturesThe embedded player may not work right, I’m still playing with it, but the link definitely works.
“Mickey Mantle is a sucker for a curveball” always makes me laugh when I say it at a baseball game, even though no one ever gets the reference.
Red Sox Blame It on the Rain
I love Jonathan Papelbon. He always seems to be having a great time, whether he’s dominating opposing batters or explaining the vagueries of craps to Hideki Okajima. Recently he and fellow reliever Manny Delcarmen decided to make a video tribute to Milli Vanilli’s classsic hit, “Blame it on the Rain” which was played last night at Fenway at the end of an hour-fifteen rain delay.
That’s the best closer in baseball! Let’s just say I’m glad he has baseball to fall back on, because we’ve now seen his “singing” abilities and of course his off-the-field dancing abilities…
Links for the Weekend
After seeing fellow Mets fan Shatraw proclaim the Mets having no chance for the rest of the reason, reader Youppi’s heart was broken so he sent along HIS 10 reasons why the Mets WILL succeed. Youppi is the most diehard Mets fan I know, so this has to be good! (ed. notes in ital)
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Sure, the Mets can’t do anything about the Wilpons, or Omar Minaya (well, they could fire him…), but they aren’t the ones actually playing the game anyways, it is up to the players themselves to make this turnaround happen. It is all going to come down to the team, and by looking at some past numbers and trends, we’ll see that those bats should liven up any day now. I submit my 10 reasons the Mets will finish 10+ games OVER .500 (and why they’ll be in the postseason!)
(Unless the reasons are the Phillies and Braves teams are both going to have epic collapses ala the Mets 2007, I don’t see it…)
1) Pre/Post All-Star break Splits: So the Mets are having a bad start to the year. Good thing that many of the linchpin players perform better in the second half! (AVG/OBP/SLG/OPS) for hitters
Carlos Beltran
Pre .272 .346 .474 .820
Post .291 .368 .524 .892
Beltran’s best months? June, July and August, so here we go…
David Wright
Pre .293 .375 .510 .885
Post .324 .399 .545 .944
When isn’t David good?
Carlos Delgado
Pre .270 .373 .525 .898
Post .291 .398 .570 .968
Yes, yes, he’s lost his bat speed. He can’t handle the inside pitch, and this is probably his last year with the Mets (Don’t count on it, I’m just waiting for Omar to sign him to a 5 year, 60 million deal around the All-Star break.) . It’s also probably his last chance to win it all, so here’s hoping his pre/post trends continue…
Aaron Heilman (ERA/WHIP/OAV)
Pre 4.80 1.29 .255
Post 3.45 1.29 .232
He’s already started righting the ship with recent solid outings, and as the summer heats up, so will his fastball, which he’ll hopefully trust more going forward…
(Zero chance he becomes dominant which is the one thing the Mets need him to be, regardless he has what, maybe 40 innings in him for the rest of the year, it simply won’t be enough)
Oliver Perez
Pre 4.72 1.47 .246
Post 4.13 1.41 .238
Neither set of numbers look terribly fantastic, but at least the second half looks better than the first.
(The definition of basket case)
Billy Wagner
Pre 2.59 1.02 .192
Post 2.12 1.00 .187
For all the crap Wagner has been getting, people were quick to throw out his dominant start to the year. Well, after a small hic-up, he’s back to his old ways, which continue pointing in the right direction after the All-Star Break. Oh, and Wagner vs. the Phillies for his career? 2.35ERA 1.00WHIP .190BAA
Continue reading ’10 Reasons the Mets WILL Finish 10 Games Over .500!’
Baseball is Amazing!
Last year, on June 17th Prince Fielder of the Milwaukee Brewers, hit an inside-the-park home run (video HERE). That’s pretty remarkable because he’s about 260 pounds and not fleet of foot. Today, June 19th, in the 5th inning, Prince hit ANOTHER inside-the-parker! Nearly a year to the day! Amazing! That has to be the only time in baseball history that almost exactly to the day that a man hits an inside-the-park home run, especially one as large and slow as Prince. Tim Kurkjian and Jayson Stark are going to be creaming themselves looking this one up!
The Washington Nationals have apparently been cracking down on topless fans at baseball games. Unlike topless soccer, which is wholly encouraged in Europe, topless baseball apparently is not the image that the nation’s capital team wants to present.
“We bought a few beers for $7.50 each, and kicked back to enjoy the game,” wrote Benjamin Correia, to the Washington Post, “Around the third inning, a ballpark employee informed me and a friend that we would have to put our shirts back on.”According to the Nationals, this is just part of their policy opposing any indecent exposure.
I wholly applaud this policy. Now, as someone who has a physique that is just simply marvelous–I get stopped constantly by women and even some men who just want to behold the splendor that is my chest. My abs are used by my friends to grate cheese, my pecs have led many art critics to cry due to their beauty, etc etc–I am so glad to see the Nationals crack down on those men who have been taking their shirts off in public and simply shouldn’t be. I didn’t come to swill my $7.50 beer and be disgusted by sections of pale, flabby gentlemen. However, as someone who is totally jacked, I should be allowed to show my body off. When I take my shirt off women coo, children come up and ask if I’m Superman and a flock of doves often fly alongside me, providing a cooling fan action with their wings.
Chubbers and guys who are so pale that they are translucent could easily screw up the batter’s eye, and they should be silenced (clothed.) For the Washington Nationals, who have dedicated this season to the lost art of finishing 70-92, I can totally understand their focus on this terrible plague upon their new stadium. Normal men without their shirts are horrendous, as a demi-god, that fortunately isn’t my fate. So, to the Nationals I stand up and cheer. Why worry about the product on the field, after all, there are MUCH more important issues going on out in the bleachers! But be careful too, we’ve also seen the hoopla that can surround the shirts that people DO choose to wear to games as well…
Today we bring you a guest column from generally angry commenter Shatraw, who offers his insights into what is ailing his beloved Mets (until he jumps onto the Rays bandwagon.)
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The inevitable came to pass in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, June 17th, when Omar Minaya snuck into Willie Randolph’s hotel room and left the severed heads of Rick Peterson and Tom Nieto in his bed, scrawling the word’s “YOU’RE FIRED” in blood on the wall over his bed. There is no debate about whether the firing was warranted and going into the theatrics surrounding the situation is just beating a dead horse. The real question now is: “can the Met’s get their act together and finish off 2008 in the hunt for a playoff spot?”
Hah hah hah.
Here are the 10 reasons the Mets will finish 10 games under .500. If each one of these factors only adds one loss to their chances of finishing .500, the Mets should consider themselves lucky.
PROBLEM: Oliver Perez will walk 100+ batters
Free Parking Perez has walked 48 men in only 72.1 IP. Remember last year when he went 15-10 with a 3.56 ERA and 174K, walking “only” a total of 79?
The honeymoon is over. His ERA is flirting with 5. He gives his team almost no chance to win 1 out of 3 times he’s on the mound.
CAN IT BE FIXED? Well, since he walked 8 in 5IP on May 23rd in Colorado, he’s only walked 4, 2, 2 and 3. So no, probably not.
PROBLEM: Jose Reyes turned into a sniveling prick
Everyone knows that watching Reyes play at the height of his game is possibly the most exciting sight in baseball. But that’s if he feels like it.
Reyes seems more petulant by the hour, climaxing last night in Jerry Manuel’s first game as manager. Reyes pulling up lame at first, whined into the bench. When Manuel emerged from the dugout and told him to take the night off, Reyes chucked his helmet and sulked off the field.
It’s just the latest in Jose’s trend toward little-bitchery. Reyes can regularly be seen booting routine groundballs, not laying out for tougher plays and scuffling to first on grounders.
CAN IT BE FIXED? I don’t know what his deal is, but they have to make Reyes care again. Send him to a Tony Robbins brainwashing if it’s necessary.
PROBLEM: The Wilpons are reverting back into the Wilpons
After a couple of relatively sane seasons from ownership, the Wilpons are up to their nasty old tricks again. Now that their team is sputtering, it’s back to a steady flow of media leaks, petty in-fighting and backstabbing in an organization famous for such hijinks. That’s always good for team morale.
I’m starting to suspect that Mets ownership is intentionally tanking this season. Omar Minaya has that look in his eye, like his time is about to come. And it probably will after this season.
CAN IT BE FIXED? Not really. Unless the Wilpons charter a fateful helicopter tour with the always hilarious Dolans, curing NY sports of insanity at its uppermost levels. Oh wait, forgot about Hank Steinbrenner. Damn.
PROBLEM: Both Carlos’s (Carlii?) suck and neither one of them cares Continue reading ‘Ten Reasons the Mets will Finish 10 Games Under .500’
Remember when Max Mosely, the president of F1 got busted after having sex orgies with hookers where he dressed up as a Nazi? Well that was very embarrassing for F1 and so they have come up with something positive to counter.
Meet Gemma Garrett, the current Ms. Great Britain who was recently been named to be the face of the British Grand Prix. I still don’t care whatsoever about racing, but much like the Funny Cars circuit found, adding a hot chick gets people to pay attention. Also, get your Fandango fingers ready, she’s due to have a movie come out later this year co-starring noted thespian Dolph Lundgren entitled Direct Contact.
After 162 races, Japanese racehorse Elizabeth Queen raced her way on Tuesday to the record for horse-racing ineptitude. That’s because the 7 year old horse has yet to come away with a single win. You read that right, after having run the equivalent of an entire baseball schedule of races, Elizabeth Queen remains winless; even the Mariners aren’t that bad!
Elizabeth Queen, which usually finished in the bottom group in each race, has recently improved her performance, in 11 consecutive races she has finished second four times, third six times and fifth once. “I feel she’s going to run faster than ever. I’d like to help her stop the consecutive losses,” said jockey Hisashi Itano the day before she finished second in her record-setting race.
“Finishing races safely is a condition for a good horse. She’ll surely win if she keeps racing,” said Tetsuharu Kuribayashi, a trainer of the horse. I’m not so sure about that. You’d think after 162 tries that she’d have done it once…
I’m guessing she won’t be making the big bucks as a female stud (brood mare?) There may be only one real solution…
The Dutch Get Ovened
I don’t know when this blog became a soccer blog but there are simply too many hilarious stories coming out of the beautiful game recently. For instance, take this video of the Dutch team playing Romania during the Euro Cup. Something stinks on the bench and it seems to be most likely caused by Rafael van der Vaart, (pronounced Van der Fart.) Is it still called a Dutch oven if it’s done by a Dutchman? Or is it just an oven?
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